Chapter 30: Secrets
The sparring session Adhara had promised Menish did not take place. Althak’s departure left the King shattered. He had expected to spend the rest of the day conferring with Althak, Adhara and a few others, making what plans were appropriate at this stage. But most of those plans were to have included Althak and Azkun. In despair, though he was careful not to show it, he closed the court for the day and went riding with Adhara. He wanted to get away from these people who would make demands on him, to come to terms with Althak’s defection.
Menish whipped his horse with the anger he felt for Althak and galloped furiously along the riverbank. Adhara made little attempt to keep up with him. They were riding a well-known track. She would catch up when his anger cooled.
The cold wind on his face and the eventual snorting protests of the horse did their work on him and at last he stopped to let the horse drink. The tired animal picked its way down to the water while Menish stood on the horse track. The winter wind still blew on his face and the sky looked like snow. It was winter and he would die in the spring. He kicked at a stone, sending it flying into the water where the splash startled the horse. Damn Althak! How could he have listened to Azkun’s madness? Had he lost all reason? He was supposed to help convince Azkun to fight, not chase after his dragons. He was just a Vorthenki following his obscene gods. Menish had always known he continued to revere Kopth so what else should he expect? But Althak was different. Menish remembered the plea in Althak’s voice as he had announced his intention to fight Gashans the best way he knew. It was all Menish himself was doing. It was all Vorish was doing. Even Adhara, who had no hope for their survival, was going to fight Gashan the best way she knew.
But to go running after Azkun’s dragons? It was ridiculous. Althak had more sense. It was simply a way of saving his own skin and dressing it up to make it look like noble self sacrifice. And yet? Yes, there was that plea for understanding in Althak’s voice. How could Menish understand a Vorthenki? How could Althak expect him to?
He heard the thudding of hoofs on the track. Adhara had caught up with him. Even before she spoke Menish could see she was displeased. This was their first opportunity to speak alone since Althak had gone.
“You've made an ass of yourself.”
“What did you expect me to do? Pat his blond head and send him on his way?”
“You could have made some attempt to keep him, but after your reaction to Azkun’s announcement you'd already made that all but impossible. Wasn't it obvious that Althak would accompany him? You said yourself Azkun trusted only Althak, how else do you think the gentle Vorthenki would respond? Especially when you abused Azkun. You left him with no friends but Althak and that dog-like woman who follows him everywhere. What else could Althak do?”
“What else could I do? Azkun insulted me in my own court. I was reasonable until then. I attempted to persuade him to stay and help. But once he began calling me a fool I had no choice. I was generous to give them horses.”
“So now you've lost Althak and your hopes of Azkun are ruined. Yet you still do not see it? I've never seen you make such a blunder, and I have known you a long time, O King.”
She was looking at him in a way he did not recognise, as if she was more his subject than his wife. It frightened him, he did not want her to change, not now. He could not afford to lose her as well. For a fleeting moment he wondered if his guilt with Thalissa had been finally exposed, but that was impossible.
“What's this ‘O King’? You can usually think of a worse address than that if you're angry.”
“I was going to ask you something. But your treatment of Althak and Azkun makes me hesitate.” She climbed off her horse, allowing the animal to go and drink. “Do you remember we came here years ago in summer, when we were young?” Menish remembered. A short way down the river was a cluster of trees that had afforded them enough privacy to enjoy their love in the open air. But it was winter now and they were too old to put up with the discomforts of the hard ground.
“I remember.”
“I never told you something about that grove of trees. I'm not sure if I should tell you now.”
“But obviously you are going to tell me,” said Menish, annoyed at her obscurity.
“It's sacred to Kiveli. It's a… traditional place for women to take their husbands.”
“Really? I'd thought we discovered the place for ourselves.”
“I know. That's what many of the men of Meyathal believe.”
“You mean they all go there?”
She shrugged. “Many, not all. I've not waited in the bushes to see. I knew you'd be displeased, you thought it was only the two of us knew. But there is more.”
“Go on,” said Menish, mystified as to where this was leading.
“This will displease you more. We send our young women there before they marry to learn… about marriage.”
“What? You mean they spied on us?”
She nodded.
“It's an old custom.”
Menish was shocked and somewhat embarrassed. “You mean you've been sending girls down to that grove to spy on married couples taking their pleasure since Aton knows when?”
“Actually since Kiveli knows when, but what you say is true.”
“And you knew someone was watching us?”
She grinned wickedly. “Of course, it was arranged. The girl told me afterwards she was impressed.”
“Flame of Aton! Who was it?”
“You don't really want me to tell you. She doesn't live at Meyathal.”
“I'm relieved… and did you go there before we married?”
“Of course.”
“Why can’t women learn the way men do, a quiet talk with someone older and an attentive eye on the cattle?”
Adhara laughed.
“Perhaps we could. But we're not cows to be covered. You must remember we're on the receiving end of rutting, I know some women who've decided to forego marriage when they learn what's involved.”
It did not seem enough justification for Menish, but he thought of several women at Meyathal who were past the usual marriage age and who had not found husbands. It was not uncommon. Was this the reason?
“Why are you telling me this now? You've kept this secret from me for years.”
“This is just one of the secrets we women have. You men think you're the only ones with your secret initiations at the Chasm of Kelerish and your oracular fire towers. But we women still guard the old faith of Anthor. You dismiss it as women’s tales you were told as a child. I wanted you to know that there are tales we don't tell our sons that we do tell our daughters.”
“So you have secrets too? You know what I think of the Sons of Gilish.”
“Yes, but you know their secrets. You don't know ours.”
“What are you trying to tell me?”
She took a breath, as if she was preparing herself to face Menish’s rage. “Last night you said Kiveli should preserve us from Gashan. What if I tell you that I think she can?”
“No! Not another offer of gods! Aton failed last time. I've sent Azkun on his mad way and he took Althak. What will you do?” He reached for her and they clung together. “Don't desert me to run after gods I don't know. I can manage without Althak. I can't live without you.”
She pushed him away and looked him eye to eye.
“You think that because you've heard one secret you know them all. You do not know Kiveli, O King.”
“I know gods are useless!”
“I know Kiveli is not!”
“Does no one want to fight Gashan with swords?” He turned away from her and walked down the track. “All I get are offers of divine help!”
“Menish!”
