discount it as just heightened focus.
Watching Amy now, lying on the red settee, Joe wasn’t sure what to believe. At least, the girl looked peaceful.
“Amy?”
“Yes?”
“I’d like you to go back to when you were little. Can you remember that?”
“Yes.”
Joe could see the deep and even rise of Amy’s chest through the thin fabric of her T-shirt.
“Where are you?” Dr. Sher asked.
“Farm… in my room. It’s pink.”
Joe remembered Louis describing a bedroom with pink wallpaper.
“Can you see anything else?”
“A kitten. I have a kitten.”
Suddenly, Amy gave out a small cry.
“What is it, Amy?” Dr. Sher asked.
“He killed it.”
“Killed what?”
“My kitten. I found it in the barn, and I wanted to keep it, but when I brought it into the house, he… he…”
“It’s all right, dear. It’s all right.”
For a moment, there was no sound in the room except Amy’s breathing. Gradually, it returned to normal.
“Can you tell me about the barn?” Dr. Sher asked gently.
“The barn,” Amy whispered.
“Can you go into the barn?” Dr. Sher asked. “Can you go there and tell me what you see there?”
The girl’s brows knitted slightly.
“Are you in the barn, Amy?” Dr. Sher prodded.
“I don’t want to go in the barn.”
Joe sat back and stifled a sigh.
“That’s all right,” Dr. Sher said. She glanced over at Joe and gave a subtle shake of her head.
“Ohhhh…”
Joe’s eyes shot to Amy. She had her hands over her face and was moaning.
Dr. Sher leaned closer. “Amy, what is it?”
“No, don’t… no, don’t…” Amy said.
Joe rose from her seat.
“Amy?”
“Momma! Momma! Oh, no… don’t hurt Momma! Stop! Stop!”
“Amy, it’s all right.”
“No! No! I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go in the hole!”
Joe came forward quickly. “Get her out of this,” she said.
Dr. Sher looked up. “She needs to go through this.”
Joe turned away.
“Where is he putting you, Amy? What’s the hole?”
“Outside, outside… it smells so bad… dark. And if I cry again, he’ll throw me down the hole. I have to be quiet until Momma comes to let me out. Be quiet…”
And suddenly, Amy fell quiet. Joe looked back. She had brought up her knees and was lying on her side, curled into a ball. Dr. Sher had her hand on Amy’s forehead. She looked up at Joe with questions in her pale blue eyes.
“Doctor?” Joe said quietly.
Dr. Sher turned.
“Can you ask her about the barn again?”
Dr. Sher turned back to Amy. “Amy? Amy, can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“I need to you go into the barn. Can you go in there?”
Joe had moved closer, and she watched Amy’s face. Her eyelids were fluttering, like she was trying hard to see something.
“What do you see in the barn, Amy?” Dr. Sher asked.
“Horse. Brown horse.”
“Anything else?”
“Cow… just a cow.”
Amy fell quiet. Joe was watching her face for any sign of distress, but there was nothing.
Then a soft sound. Amy was humming. Joe came up to stand behind Dr. Sher’s chair.
Amy was hugging herself and singing. She was singing the same nonsensical song that she had sung last night before falling asleep.
Amy sang the song over and over, until her voice finally tapered off into soft, even breathing.
Dr. Sher sat riveted, a stunned look on her face. She switched off the small tape recorder she had set on the table by Amy’s head. Finally, she leaned forward and took Amy’s hand.
“Amy, I want you to wake up now,” she said evenly. “We’re going to count back from ten together, and when we get to one, you’ll wake up, okay?”
“Yes.”
At one, Amy opened her eyes. She looked first at Dr. Sher and then at Joe. She smiled shyly.
“Did I do okay?” she asked.
Dr. Sher smiled back. “Yes, dear.”
“I sang the song,” Amy said.
“Yes, you did.”
“But this time, I sang the whole thing. I never did that before. I can remember it now.”
Her smile widened. She swung her legs to floor and sat up, suddenly very alert. She focused on Joe.
“I’m hungry. Can we get a pizza?”
That morning, back at the hotel, Joe finally had persuaded Amy to try a slice of the leftover pizza, telling her that while it may not have been on Aunt Geneva’s list of edible foods, it was on Joe’s. Amy had readily agreed to try it, willing to move on. Seeing how well Amy looked now, Joe wondered if she might be ready to move on in other ways as well. Maybe Dr. Sher was right. Maybe there was no way through this for Amy except by facing the ugliness head-on.
“Yes, we’ll stop and get a pizza,” Joe said.
Amy’s face lit up with a smile.
Joe turned to Dr. Sher. “I’m sorry I tried to stop you. I should have trusted you. It’s just that I don’t know what I am seeing here.”
Dr. Sher was watching Amy put on her jacket. “I really think I need to see her again. You can’t expect much from just one visit.”
Joe nodded.
“That song she was singing,” Dr. Sher began.
“She’s done it before. It seems to calm her.”
“But you don’t know what it means to her?”
Joe shook her head. “I’ve asked her. She doesn’t remember it when she’s awake.”
“Apparently, she was able to retrieve it during the hypnosis. The song must be a good memory, something she goes to when the bad memories get to be too much.”
“The song’s nonsense, though,” Joe said.
Dr. Sher was watching Amy and looked back at Joe. “What?”
“The words. They don’t make any sense.”
