certain point, he realized, a lieutenant’s authority reached its limit. The platoon — what remained of it — had probably passed it.
Machine-gun rounds ripped overhead. You could feel the air getting out of their way.
Couldn’t blame his soldiers much if they were still hunkered down. They’d followed him a damned long way. Maneuvering up to approach this Megiddo lump of dirt from the north, they’d hit the first belt of mines. Screams, and men squirming. Lost the weak ones right there, the newbies. Koskinski had watched the engineer major leap into the air like a super-hero. Except that his legs separated from his torso and flew off in their own eccentric directions. For all the noise of battle, he’d heard the thud when the major came back to earth. Anyway, he thought he’d heard it.
Dark coming. Not good news. Mission unaccomplished.
The machine-gun fire ceased. For the moment.
Kosinski looked around in desperation. And found only the priest.
Okay. Game over. Time to pay up. Time to at least
Course of Action C, sir?
It was up to him now. His turn. Go in and find McGinley. And the charge. Give it to the bastards.
Or.
No “or.”
He already saw himself running forward, saw it all play out. It did not end well.
The priest had read his mind. He laid a staying hand on the lieutenant, forcing Kosinski back down as he began to rise. Father Powers inched close, until their uniforms met and the warmth beneath their sleeves connected. So human it made Kosinski wince. With the noise and stink of war roiling around them. In the loneliest place on earth.
“Listen to me,” the priest shouted. Or it seemed like a shout. “I’ve been there. I know where the tunnel starts.”
Their eyes met in the dying light. And Kosinski saw something in the other man’s eyes that he never found a word for. Maybe his mom was right and priests knew secrets.
“Stay here,” the chaplain commanded. “I’ll handle it.”
Kosinski felt as though a spell had been cast, as though the priest’s authority superseded that of generals. Later, he sometimes asked himself if he’d just been a coward. But even in his most cynical moments, he knew there was more to it than that.
The priest leapt into the dusk, running forward. Alone.
The machine guns opened up again. Kosinski didn’t dare raise his head to look. No screams. But heavy-caliber machine guns didn’t leave you much to scream with.
One eternity passed, and another began.
Kosinski readied himself. To follow in the priest’s footsteps. Suddenly emboldened, telling himself, “What the hell, I’m a bachelor. What does it matter?”
He refused to think further, to contemplate anything but the mission.
Just as he was about to climb from the crater, the heavens roared, and the earth shook, and darkness covered the land.
Nasr waited far longer than the thirty minutes he’d granted himself before moving out to make his transmission. After reaching the tiny hole he’d rented and mortifying the landlord through whose rooms he had to pass, he’d fallen into unconsciousness. As soon as he lowered his body onto the mattress. When he woke again, after scorching dreams, the light was going, and it took him several minutes to master reality.
As the shock of the beating wore off, the pain worsened. Yet, the pain itself had an opiate quality on another level, lulling him into a trance he had to resist with his remaining strength.
He decided to wait until full dark to leave again and retrieve the burst transmitter. In the meantime, he constructed his message. Reaching for effective words and eco nom ical formulations he could punch in quickly.
The world seemed about as clear as muddy water. And not just because of the enveloping night.
What could he say that would make sense? When things didn’t make sense?
Brevity, he cautioned himself. Short sentences. Keep it simple, stupid. Just the bones.
At last, he thought he had it. He hoped he would remember it all, since he couldn’t write it down:
Count to remember. Twelve sentence fragments. How many clauses? Too hard. Twelve fragments. Okay, repeat. And repeat again.
He wanted to put on clean clothes but found it too difficult to get the bloody rags off his body. He worried that the pain was beating him down, defeating him. Now and then, he coughed up more blood. But what did it matter? If they were going to kill him?
He tried to reason against his conclusion. Maybe they wanted him to continue transmitting? Maybe they really hadn’t pegged him at all?
No. They knew.
Twelve fragments. What’s number four, stud?
You’ll never be middle-aged. And you haven’t even been married and divorced once. To qualify for full membership in the Special Forces, you had to have at least two marriages in your past and an estranged wife with papers on you.
None of that was going to happen now. Should’ve married some allotment-hunter from Fayetteville or Columbus. Just to check the block. While waiting for Daddy’s little trust-fund baby. Found wandering the streets of Chapel Hill.
Too late now, tiger.
The poetry of it all. He snickered at himself and coughed up more blood.
He knew that he shouldn’t think about death. You had to focus on the mission. But it was hard.
Nasr dragged himself back through his landlord’s rooms, where no living thing was in evidence. All of them hiding. From him. Nasr figured the old bugger was going to lock the door the minute he made the street.
Dad, I’m sorry. I screwed this up. Keep Mom straight, okay?
“Died doing his duty.” What a joke. They would’ve been just as happy to put
Well, it wasn’t the first time. And his family was still safe in Sacramento. Maudlin for an instant, he imagined his father waving a medal in the face of some Jesus-was-really-a-white-American bureaucrat.
Sorry, Dad.
Nasr lugged his body through the streets. There were no lights now. Blackout conditions. Only the stars and a moon hidden by buildings, and the lightning flashes of shell bursts beyond the ridges. His eyes were swollen almost shut, worse than they’d been before he’d gone unconscious among the bedbugs. An exasperated girl-friend had once told him he was blind. Well, now he just about was.
Tina. Oh, yes. So demure in public.
Tina, Tina. Nicest bad girl I ever met.
He smiled at himself. Until his lips, gums, and teeth ached. Which didn’t take long.
He’d actually been worried about bedbugs in his room. The truth, which Nasr hid from his comrades, was that he was a clean-freak. Concerned with getting the bedbugs out of his clothing after he exfiltrated. What a joke. Glad to share many more nights with all the little guests in his bed, if only.
The bedbugs would’ve loved Tina.