Fade to Blonde

“I’m interested in anything that’ll turn a profit and not cause too much fuss.”

“That, young man, is a very wholesome and sensible attitude. It is my own attitude. A little profit, and not cause a fuss, but it’s very easy to remember the profit and forget the no fuss. You were causing a little fuss at my bar, anh?”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You wanted to know, will my man there sell you a little something.”

“I wanted to know if that kind of thing could be gotten here.”

“Ah. Because you’re in that business? You see I’m asking you very politely.”

“I do, sir. Right now I’m not in any business at all. I guess you could say I’ve had an offer.”

“And this man who’s offering — I’m being very patient. This man is who? In which business?”

“I’d rather not say, sir. He was candid with me, and we may work together, and he deserves a certain amount of discretion.”

“You’d rather not say.”

“I’m afraid not.”

“You’d rather not say.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I couldn’t persuade you?”

I looked from the little gunman to the big one. “With both your boys working? Yeah. But it would take a while, and you couldn’t do it here.”

“Now,” he said cozily, “this is nice. Keeping the mouth shut, this is something not everybody understands. Very admirable, if your business is not my business. But. What if your business is my business after all?”

“Then I’m out of that business. That’s why I came here.”

“You gotta speak slow for an old man. You came to find out, is it okay.”

“Yes.”

“This mysterious business.”

“That’s right.”

“With Mr. Halliday.”

“I don’t think I mentioned a name.”

“That’s very true. I must be making a mistake.”

“Isn’t Lance Halliday a partner of yours?”

Burri pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. “I must admit to you now, I never heard him referred to like that before.”

“I mean a partner in this club.”

“Oh. Yeah, we gave Mr. Halliday a little interest in our undertaking.”

“I heard him described as the club’s owner,” I said, smiling faintly.

“People talk,” Burri said sadly. “You’ve nearly finished your drink. Now, this time I truly hope — Ah. No. Here it comes.” The gazelle reappeared at a canter, looking a bit alarmed, and set down another gimlet in front of me. As she was about to leave, Burri lay a brown hand on her bare back. “Young lady,” he said.

“Yes Mr. Burri,” she said tensely.

“You are taking very nice care of us, young lady.”

“Thank you Mr. Burri,” she said. He lifted his hand and watched fondly as she walked on taut legs back to the bar with her tray against her hip. The tray covered more of her than the dress did.

“They’re a regular plague, these naked women,” I agreed.

Burri and his torpedos all turned to look at me at once.

Then Burri smiled, showing a beautiful set of false teeth. “Mr. Corson. I gotta admit. You seem to have your wits about you, but at the same time you are not what I would call a nervous gentleman.” I smiled back and said nothing. “Mr. Grasso,” he said, “what do you think of Mr. Corson here?”

“You never can tell,” the little gunman said judiciously.

“Big one,” offered the big one.

“Mr. Corson, if you weren’t so busy with your mysterious friend, I might even think of something to discuss with a capable young man like yourself.”

“Thanks, Mr. Burri. But I should warn you, I’m not Sicilian.”

He chuckled. “Sicilian I don’t care so much anymore. I’m not old-fashioned. I’ll do business with any man if he’s a gentleman and can make me a nice proposition. I’ll do business with a nigger. I got a Negro gentleman works for me and he is a fine gentleman. His name is Hubie Howard the bandleader, and I must admit he has my admiration as a businessman. Because here is a man who works with animals, with animals — and yet, there’s never a problem, and things are always very orderly with Mr. Howard, and he gives me my nice music, all right, it’s not nice music, but it’s the kind you got to have and he gives it to me with no fuss. And this interests me very much. Because this colored fellow is solving the identical, exact same problem I got myself every day.”

“Of working with animals,” I said.

“Animals,” he said. “People who got ambition and that’s all they got. People with no discipline, who don’t know to ask, Is this okay. And these are not people you can reside your trust in. They are people you always got to be watching. And you know, nothing so very nice happens to these people in the end.”

There must have been some signal I missed, because the big pug was standing and lifting away Burri’s table, and Burri started getting up on his long rickety legs. I stood too, and Burri gave me his hand to shake. It was cool and dry. “Mr. Corson, you strike me as a fine young gentleman, and I’d like you to have a good time tonight at the bar with the compliments of the house. And maybe some evening you’ll come by again and we’ll have another nice talk.”

“I’d like that,” I said.

“And about our friend,” he said. “So you know. Our friend has an okay to do a few little things. But if you are interested in this,” — he displayed his thumb again — “ this is not a good business to be in with him.”

“But it is a good business to be in with you?”

“Ah ha hah!” he said, waggling a finger at me. “Now I see. Now I see. You want your mouth shut and my mouth open, anh?” Laughing merrily, he turned and swayed off on his long legs, a gunman on either side.

I sipped my drink and watched him go. The gazelle reappeared to take Burri’s glass and dish of cookies. She smiled and asked if I needed anything else. It was a friendly smile, but it did convey that just because I was Mister Burri’s new friend didn’t mean I could go sitting in Mister Burri’s booth when he wasn’t there. I drained my drink, set the glass on her tray with a dollar, and went back to the bar. By the time I got there, the bartender had another gimlet waiting. I’d be doing well to get home that night with my liver still attached.

I sat down, saying, “For a minute back there, you seemed to forget all about me. I was lonely.”

“Friend,” he said. “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing. But you know what I’m doing. I’m working for a living.”

“I didn’t take it personally.”

“I wouldn’t care if you did. Actually, though, now you’re part of the family, I guess I got to care. What’s your magic, anyway? I never seen the old man fall in love so fast.”

“You pour a good drink,” I told him.

“Thanks. That’s one thing here, they let you pour ‘em right. It’s why I’ve stayed so long.”

“Thinking of going?”

“Been saving up for my own place. Another year should do it. I got my eye on a property in Culver City.”

“Yeah? Which? If you’re behind the bar, I’ll have to make a note of it.”

“Friend, don’t take this wrong, especially since you’re Burri’s new nephew. But when I get my place? I don’t want you anywhere near it.”

I left him with a smile and no tip and went to get my hat back. Outside, I gave my ticket to the valet. He still treated me like I didn’t smell, and I gave him two bucks, his and the bartender’s, and pulled out the circular drive and headed north. A quarter mile up the road, I made a U-turn and drove back. There was a liquor store, a florist, and a late-night drugstore across the road from the Centaur, and I pulled into the parking lot, where I could see the