chaotic beauty, but no less pure for that. Beth gazed across it, her muscles knackered into relaxation. She was thrilled, and sad, and wistful, and ecstatic and- She didn’t have the words for the feeling, but she knew she’d never forget it.
‘Beth, what is it?’ Fil sounded alarmed.
‘What’s what?’
‘You’re crying.’
Beth touched her cheek, a little shocked to find it wet. Her tears smelled of chalk. She wiped them away and smiled ruefully. ‘I was thinking of Pen.’
‘Pen?’
‘My best friend.’ She looked at his narrow concrete-coloured face with some astonishment. Had she really never told him about Pen? ‘Inseparable, they used to call us,’ she said, ‘like it was ordinary. Like it wasn’t a bloody miracle to have someone who can tell you’ve got a broken heart by the way you button your coat.’ She exhaled hard into the cold night air. ‘I could never put how I feel right now into words, not if I had a hundred years. But with Pen, I wouldn’t have to. She’d just know.’
‘How did you get so close?’ he asked.
‘Don’t know — I guess if I could explain it, it wouldn’t be a miracle.’
He smiled, maybe a little sadly. ‘Sounds like you were in love with her.’
Beth shut her eyes, remembering Pen’s face. ‘She made me feel brave.’
‘What?’ He sounded puzzled. ‘You’re brave anyway, stupidly brave — suicidally brave, else there’s no way you’d be here.’
Beth was touched by his confusion. ‘Nah,’ she said, ‘I was never smart enough to be properly scared. So how could I be scared enough to be brave? Pen always said: “Only the people you love can scare you witless enough for true courage.” I thought she was quoting someone, but knowing her she probably made it up. She was scared of everything, especially heights, but she’d still follow me onto any roof. ’
Beth waved a hand over the echoing night below them. ‘One night we were muralling this rooftop in Camberwell. It’d been raining, and the slates were all slick and shiny, y’know? You could see the moon in them, it was beautiful…’ Beth felt the memory cinch her throat tight. ‘But it was slippery, and Pen fell.’ She rubbed her fingertips together; she could still feel the silk of Pen’s hijab where her desperate fingers had snagged it as her best friend slipped away.
‘ Thames! ’ Fil swore, ‘she died?’
‘Thank Christ and your Mother, no. There was another rooftop about six feet down. She didn’t even break an ankle.’ Beth snorted. ‘Happy endings all round. But for one second, the longest second of my life, I thought I’d lost her. That was the most afraid I’ve ever been. There was enough loneliness in that one heartbeat for a lifetime. She was the thing I cared about most in the world, and I thought I’d lost her — and the worst of it was she wouldn’t have even been up on that sodding roof if it wasn’t for me.’
She felt a wiry arm around her shoulder pulling her in close. She felt the rough texture of him, the matted tangle of his hair against her cheek. ‘You can’t begin to know what that’s like,’ she said.
‘Yes I can.’ He hesitated before he whispered back, ‘That’s exactly how I felt when I saw you in the fire.’
Beth kissed him — it happened before she let herself think about it. Her lips pressed against his and for a moment she was acutely aware of every tingling inch of her skin. His rough fingers brushed her neck.
Neither of them melted into the kiss; instead they held it, electrically still, each terrified the other would pull away, but neither of them did.
Eventually, Beth broke contact. Fil’s skin was hot as she laid her own face against it.
‘Wow.’ He was actually stammering. ‘That was… that was-’
Weird? Fantastic? Scary? Hot? Beth licked her lips nervously. Did he think it was rubbish? No, ’course not, he’s probably never kissed a human being, got nothing to compare it to. But still, that Lampgirl, they looked tight, maybe they were even in love…
The word leaped out at her: love. Oh Christ, Beth, she thought in alarm, what if that’s-? What if this is — ?
How would she know?
Love. There was a hollowness to the way the thought rang in her head, like chiming glass.
Love…
The thought wasn’t hers.
Beth’s eyes snapped open. She twisted her head, hardly daring to…
A tiny spider dangled from an air-con vent by a filament wire. It was no larger than a common house-spider, but it glittered like fibreglass and hissed and buzzed with static.
Love…
‘Fil!’ she cried, and threw herself at the spider with the speed of a chemical reaction. Her hands clamped around it.
‘ What? What?’ He sprang to his feet, spear already in hand.
Beth’s voice came out in an excited hiss. ‘It’s one of them — one of the spiders! I can feel it crawling all over the inside of my fingers. Ow! It’s like shuffling thistles — Fil, don’t just stand there, bloody help me!’
He merely gestured with his spear. ‘Let it go, Beth.’
‘What? Are you mental?’ Beth was scandalised. ‘It’s one of those spiders. I’m not letting it go, it’ll eat my face!’
He frowned. ‘Pylon Spiders don’t eat faces, Beth.’
‘It’ll make an exception for mine, I have a very pretty face.’
‘Um… er… yeah.’ He looked uncomfortable.
‘How about a little more enthusiasm?’ she snapped. ‘You kissed it-’
‘Seriously, Beth…’
‘It’ll kill us,’ she said stubbornly.
‘One that size? Against both of us?’ He cocked his head. ‘Let it go.’
Beth glared up at him. ‘Come and stand here,’ she ordered him.
‘Why?’
‘So if you’re wrong, it’s your face gets eaten,’ she grumbled.
‘Let it go, Beth,’ he said again calmly.
Gradually, she lifted her palms half an inch off the metal and peeked under them.
Needle-pointed feet flickered. ‘ Love,’ the glassy voice whispered gleefully in her head, ‘ weird and fantastic and terrifying love- ’
‘Shut it,’ she told it as she retracted her hands.
Fil squatted in front of the spider and cocked his head to one side as though listening. ‘Speak up,’ he said after a moment. ‘Let Beth hear.’
‘ Weird, fantastic… ’ The tinny chorus broke off suddenly and another voice spoke: ‘You survived, then.’ The words carried an unmistakable note of disapproval. ‘Harder to shift than a takeaway curry-stain, the both of you.’ It was Gutterglass’ voice, coming from the spider.
‘Mostly they swallow voices.’ Fil didn’t stop watching the creature while he murmured in Beth’s ear. ‘But you can persuade ’em to spit one out every now and then, if you make it worth their while.’
‘The two of you have been gone for almost a whole day,’ Gutterglass’ voice lamented, ‘so what in Thames’ name have you been up to?’
They exchanged a look, and then both erupted into a simultaneous fit of embarrassed coughing.
‘Nothing much,’ Fil managed.
Gutterglass emitted a sceptical snort. ‘ Fine. Well, while you two were gallivanting around in the docks, I went on a bit of a recruitment drive. You’ll be happy to know we have some proper soldiers on side now: some of the Pavement Priests — a minority, admittedly, but a significant one — have seen the light.
‘They’ve come in under the nominal command of the angel-skinned one, Ezekiel. Did you know he can actually fly? Limestone wings and all. It’s quite astonishing to watch. He says you can lead the stoneskin regiment with him if you like.’ The voice was positively smug. ‘How’s that?’
Fil’s face fell. ‘Ezekiel? What about Petris?’
