“Sounds fine to me.” Doyle sat down on the floor beside a knee-high stack of books on which Darrow a moment later set two paper cups and a pear-shaped bottle of Hennessey. The old man sat down cross-legged on the other side of the stack, and Doyle was mortified to note that Darrow didn’t have to suppress a grunt in lowering himself to the floor. Lots of push-ups and sit-ups, he vowed.
“I imagine you’ve speculated on the nature of this job,”
Darrow said, pouring the cognac, “and I want you to ditch whatever conclusions you’ve come up with. It’s got nothing to do with any of them. Here.” He handed Doyle a cup. “You know about Coleridge, do you?”
“Yes,” Doyle answered cautiously.
“And you know about his times? What was going on in London, in England, in the world?”
“Reasonably well, I think.”
“And by know, son, I don’t mean do you have books at home on these things or would you know where to look ‘em up in the UCLA library. I mean know ‘em in your head, which is more portable. Answers still yes?”
Doyle nodded.
“Tell me about Mary Wollstonecraft. The mother, not the one who wrote Frankenstein.”
“Well, she was an early feminist, wrote a book called, let’s see,
“Who’d she marry?”
“Godwin, Shelley’s father-in-law. She died in childb—”
“Did Coleridge really plagiarize Schlegel?”
Doyle blinked. “Uh, yes. Obviously. But I think Walter Jackson Bate is right in blaming it more on—”
“When did he start up on the opium?”
“When he was at Cambridge, I think, early 1790s.”
“Who was the—” Darrow began, but was interrupted by the ringing of a telephone. The old man swore, got up and went over to the phone and, lifting the receiver, resumed what was obviously an argument in progress about particles and lead sheathing.
Both from politeness and lack of interest, Doyle made a show of being curious about a nearby book stack— and a moment later his interest became wide-eyed genuine, and very carefully he lifted the top volume.
He opened it, and his half-incredulous suspicion was confirmed—it was the Journal of Lord Robb, which Doyle had been vainly begging the British Museum for a xerox copy of for a year. How Darrow could have got actual possession of it was unguessable. Though Doyle had never seen the volume, he’d read descriptions of it and knew what it was. Lord Robb had been an amateur criminologist, and his journal was the only source of some of the most colorful, and in many cases implausible, crime stories of the 1810s and 20s; among its tales of kill-trained rats, revenges from beyond the grave, and secret thief and beggar brotherhoods, it contained the only detailed account of the capture and execution of the semi-legendary London murderer known as Dog-Face Joe, popularly believed to have been a werewolf, who reputedly could exchange bodies with anyone he chose but was unable to leave behind the curse of lycanthropy. Doyle had wanted to link this story somehow with the Dancing Ape Madness, at least to the extent of the kind of speculative footnote that’s mainly meant to show how thoroughly the author has done his homework. When Darrow hung up the phone Doyle closed the book and laid it back on the stack, making a mental note to ask the old man later for a copy of the thing. Darrow sat down again beside the book stack with the cups and bottle on it, and picked up right where he’d left off. For the next twenty minutes he fired questions at Doyle, hopping from subject to subject and rarely allowing him time to amplify—though occasionally he would demand every detail Doyle knew about some point; questions on the causes and effects of the French Revolution, the love life of the British Prince Regent, fine points of dress and architecture, differences in regional dialects. And what with Doyle’s good memory and his recent Ashbless researches, he managed to answer nearly all of them. Finally Darrow leaned back and fished a pack of unfiltered cigarettes out of his pocket. “Now,” he said as he lit one and drew deeply on it, “I want you to fake an answer.”
“Fake one?”
“Right. We’re in a roomful of people, let’s say, and several of ‘em probably know more about literature than you do, but you’re being billed as the resident expert, so you’ve got to at least look like you know everything. So somebody asks you, uh, ‘Mr. Doyle, to what extent, in your opinion, was Wordsworth influenced by the philosophy expressed in the verse plays of, I don’t know, Sir Arky Malarkey?’ Quick!”
Doyle cocked an eyebrow. “Well, it’s a mistake, I think, to try to simplify Malarkey’s work that way; several philosophies emerge as one traces the maturing of his thought. Only his very late efforts could possibly have appealed to Wordsworth, and as Fletcher and Cunningham point out in their Concordium there is no concrete evidence that Wordsworth ever actually read Malarkey. I think when trying to determine the philosophies that affected Wordsworth it would be more productive to consider—” He stopped, and grinned uncertainly at Darrow. “And then I could ramble indefinitely about how much he was influenced by the Rights of Man business in the French Revolution.”
Darrow nodded, squinting through the curling smoke. “Not too bad,” he allowed. “Had a guy in here this afternoon—Nostrand from Oxford, he’s editing a new edition of Coleridge’s letters—and he was insulted at the very idea of faking an answer.”
“Nostrand’s evidently more ethical than I am,” said Doyle a little stiffly.
“Evidently. Would you call yourself cynical?”
“No.” Doyle was beginning to get annoyed. “Look, you asked me if I could bluff my way out of a question, and so off the top of my head I had a try at it. I’m not in the habit, though, of claiming to know things I don’t. In print, or in class, I’m always willing to admit—”
Darrow laughed and raised a hand. “Easy, son, I didn’t mean that. Nostrand’s a fool, and I liked your bluff. What I meant was, are you cynical? Do you tend to reject new ideas if they resemble ideas you’ve already decided are nonsense?”
Here come the Ouija boards, Doyle thought. “I don’t think so,” he said slowly.
“What if somebody claimed to have incontrovertible proof that astrology works, or that there’s a lost world inside the earth, or that any of the other things every intelligent person knows are impossible, was possible? Would you listen?”
Doyle frowned. “It’d depend on who was claiming it. Probably not, though.” Oh well, he thought—I still get five thousand and a return ticket.
Darrow nodded, seemingly pleased. “You say what you think, that’s good. One old fraud I talked to yesterday would have agreed that the moon is one of God’s stray golf balls if I’d said it was. Hot for the twenty grand, he was. Well, let’s give you a shot. Time is short, and I’m afraid you’re the likeliest-looking Coleridge authority we’re going to get.”
The old man sighed, ran his fingers through his thinning hair, and then gave Doyle a hard stare. “Time,” he said solemnly, “is comparable to a river flowing under a layer of ice. It stretches us out like water weeds, from root to tip, from birth to death, curled around whatever rocks or snags happen to lie in our path; and no one can get out of the river because of the ice roof, and no one can turn back against the current for an instant.” He paused to grind his cigarette out on an antique Moroccan binding.
Doyle was distinctly disappointed to get vague platitudes when he’d expected to have his credulity strained by wild revelations. Apparently there were a few stripped gears in the old man’s head after all. “Uh,” he said, feeling that some response was expected from him, “an interesting notion, sir.”
“Notion?” Now it was Darrow that was annoyed. “I don’t deal in notions, boy.” He lit another cigarette and spoke quietly but angrily, almost to himself. “My God, first I exhaust the entire structure of modern science—try to grasp that!—and then I spend years wringing the drops of truth out of… certain ancient writings, and testing the results and systematizing them, and then I have to browbeat, coerce, and in two cases even blackmail the boys at my chrono labs in Denver—the Quantum Theory lads, for God’s sake, supposed to be the most radically brilliant and elastic-minded scientists at work today—I have to force them to even consider the weird but dammit empirical evidence, and get them to whip it up into some practical shape—they did it, finally, and it required the synthesis of a whole new language, part non-Euclidean geometry, part tensor calculus and part alchemical symbols—and I get the findings, the goddamn most important discovery of my career, or anyone’s since 1916, I get the whole thing boiled down to one sentence of plain English… and do some pissant college teacher the favor of letting him hear it… and he thinks I’ve said ‘Life is but a dream,’ or ‘Love conquers all.’” He exhaled a lungfull of smoke in a long, disgusted hiss.
