‘Oh, dear,’ said Kwartz.
The trolls halted. The night closed in like velvet. An owl hooted eerily—at least Rincewind assumed it was an owl, he was a little hazy on ornithology. Perhaps a nightingale hooted, unless it was a thrush. A bat flittered overhead. He was quite confident about that.
He was also very tired and quite bruised.
‘Why oh dear?’ he said.
He peered into the gloom. There was a distant speck in the hills that might have been a fire.
‘Oh,’ he said. ‘You don’t like fires, do you?’
Kwartz nodded. ‘It destroys the superconductivity of our brains,’ he said, ‘but a fire that small wouldn’t have much effect on Old Grandad.’
Rincewind looked around cautiously, listening for the sound of a rogue troll. He’d seen what normal trolls could do to a forest. They weren’t naturally destructive, they just treated organic matter as a sort of inconvenient fog.
‘Let’s hope he doesn’t find it, then,’ he said fervently.
Kwartz sighed. ‘Not much chance of that,’ he said. ‘They’ve lit it in his mouth.’
‘It’sh a judgeshment on me!’ moaned Cohen. He tugged ineffectually at his bonds.
Twoflower peered at him muzzily. Gancia’s slingshot had raised quite a lump on the back of his head and he was a little uncertain about things, starting with his name and working upwards.
‘I should have been lisshening out,’ said Cohen. ‘I should have been paying attenshion and not being shwayed by all this talk about your wosshnames, your
He levered himself up by his elbows. Herrena and the rest of the gang were standing around the fire in the cave mouth. The Luggage was still and silent under its net in a corner.
‘There’s something funny about this cave,’ said Bethan.
‘What?’ said Cohen.
‘Well, look at it. Have you ever seen rocks like those before?’
Cohen had to agree that the semi-circle of stones around the cave entrance were unusual; each one was higher than a man, and heavily worn, and surprisingly shiny. There was a matching semi-circle on the ceiling. The whole effect was that of a stone computer built by a druid with a vague idea of geometry and no sense of gravity.
‘Look at the walls, too.’
Cohen squinted at the wall next to him. There were veins of red crystal in it. He couldn’t be quite certain, but it was almost as if little points of light kept flashing on and off deep within the rock itself.
It was also extremely drafty. A steady breeze blew out of the black depths of the cave.
‘I’m sure it was blowing the other way when we came in,’ whispered Bethan. ‘What do you think, Twoflower?’
‘Well, I’m not a cave expert,’ he said, ‘but I was just thinking, that’s a very interesting stalag-thingy hanging from the ceiling up there. Sort of bulbous, isn’t it?’
They looked at it.
‘I can’t quite put my finger on why,’ said Twoflower, ‘but I think it might be a rather good idea to get out of here.’
‘Oh yesh,’ said Cohen sarcastically, ‘I shupposhe we’d jusht better ashk theesh people to untie ush and let us go, eh?’
Cohen hadn’t spent much time in Twoflower’s company, otherwise he would not have been surprised when the little man nodded brightly and said, in the loud, slow and careful voice he employed as an alternative to actually speaking other people’s languages: ‘Excuse me? Could you please untie us and let us go? It’s rather damp and drafty here. Sorry.’
Bethan looked sidelong at Cohen.
‘Was he supposed to say that?’
‘It’sh novel, I’ll grant you.’
And, indeed, three people detached themselves from the group around the fire and came towards them. They did not look as if they intended to untie anyone. The two men, in fact, looked the sort of people who, when they see other people tied up, start playing around with knives and making greasy suggestions and leering a lot.
Herrena introduced herself by drawing her sword and pointing it at Twoflower’s heart.
‘Which one of you is Rincewind the wizard?’ she said. ‘There were four horses. Is he here?’
‘Um, I don’t know where he is,’ said Twoflower. ‘He was looking for some onions.’
‘Then you are his friends and he will come looking for you,’ said Herrena. She glanced at Cohen and Bethan, then looked closely at the Luggage.
Trymon had been emphatic that they shouldn’t touch the Luggage. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but Herrena’s curiosity could have massacred a pride of lions.
She slit the netting and grasped the lid of the box.
Twoflower winced.
‘Locked,’ she said eventually. ‘Where is the key, fat one?’
‘It—it hasn’t got a key,’ said Twoflower.
‘There is a keyhole,’ she pointed out.
‘Well, yes, but if it wants to stay locked, it stays locked,’ said Twoflower uncomfortably.
Herrena was aware of Gancia’s grin. She snarled.
‘I want it open,’ she said. ‘Gancia, see to it.’ She strode back to the fire.
Gancia drew a long thin knife and leaned down close to Twoflower’s face.
‘She wants it open,’ he said. He looked up at the other man and grinned.
‘She wants it open, Weems.’
‘Yah.’
Gancia waved the knife slowly in front of Twoflower’s face.
‘Look,’ said Twoflower patiently, ‘I don’t think you understand. No-one can open the Luggage if it’s feeling in a locked mood.’
‘Oh yes, I forgot,’ said Gancia thoughtfully. ‘Of course, it’s a magic box, isn’t that right? With little legs, they say. I say, Weems, any legs your side? No?’
He held his knife to Twoflower’s throat.
‘I’m really upset about that,’ he said. ‘So’s Weems. He doesn’t say much but what he does is, he tears bits off people. So open—the—box!’
He turned and planted a kick on the side of the box, leaving a nasty gash in the wood.
There was a tiny little click.
Gancia grinned. The lid swung up slowly, ponderously. The distant firelight gleamed off gold—lots of gold, in plate, chain, and coin, heavy and glistening in the flickering shadows.
‘All right,’ said Gancia softly.
He looked back at the unheeding men around the fire, who seemed to be shouting at someone outside the cave. Then he looked speculatively at Weems. His lips moved soundlessly with the unaccustomed effort of mental arithmetic.
He looked down at his knife.
Then the floor moved.
‘I heard someone,’ said one of the men. ‘Down there. Among the—uh—rocks.’
Rincewind’s voice floated up out of the darkness.
‘I say,’ he said.
‘Well?’ said Herrena.
‘You’re in great danger!’ shouted Rincewind. ‘You must put the fire out!’
‘No, no,’ said Herrena. ‘You’ve got it wrong,
