spinster and now my mother says she approves!”
“I didn’t say that, Lois. I just don’t judge, that’s all. So he’s had one small fling…it’s quite likely you’ll do the same one day. When you get to my age – ”
“Oh, spare me that,” said Lois rudely. “So what do you suggest I do? Congratulate him on his success with lonely old women?” She knew she was being unfair. Gloria had not been old and in her way not unattractive. But Lois was a woman scorned, and they are never fair.
“Think about it, Lois,” answered her mother. “What really matters? He’s still the same old Derek; a good husband and father. What’s important is that he still loves you – which he does, of course – and you both have a lovely family, home and jobs. Some people would give their eye teeth – ”
“I know, I know,” said Lois. “Well, I expect you must be getting back now,” she said unkindly, and ushered her mother to the door.
Later, though, she pondered over what her mother had said and knew it was sensible advice. She was still angry, though, and knew that Derek had to suffer some more for his transgression.
¦
Then, when she was still feeling adrift, without the firm footing at home that had given her confidence, there was another confrontation for Lois the next day. She was not looking forward to it. She had to discover why Gillian Surfleet had known about Derek visiting Gloria and had said nothing. Common sense told her that there was no reason why Nurse Surfleet should have mentioned it to her, but still…She probably assumed Lois knew about it. To an incurious neighbour, an electrician turning up at Gloria’s cottage on more than one occasion, meant nothing more than that he was doing an electrician’s job in a house riddled with electrical problems.
Well, he was on the job, that’s for sure, thought Lois, reluctant to listen to common sense, and I reckon Gillian knew all about it. There’s a lot she knows, according to Derek.
The nurse’s cottage was warm and Lois took off her coat in the small kitchen. “Hot in here,” she said abruptly. Nurse Surfleet was in her chairman of the parish council role this morning, seated at the table surrounded by council papers, working on village business.
Of course she knew, Lois assured herself. She knows everything that goes on in Farnden. “I’d like you to tell me something,” Lois continued, dispensing with polite frills.
“I’m rather busy, Lois,” said Gillian, brusquely. “Can’t it wait?”
“No,” said Lois flatly.
“Well…all right.” Gillian looked apprehensive. “We could have a coffee break now, if you like, though it’s earlier than usual.” Lois quickly made coffee and set it down. “Now then,” said Gillian in a brisk voice. “Sit down and tell me what’s up.”
“Would you say you were my friend?” Lois looked at her, unsmiling.
Gillian looked surprised. “Of course I am, you know that,” she said.
“If you thought there was something I ought to know, would you tell me? Even if it was likely to hurt?”
There was a long silence, during which Gillian studied her hands, bit the end of her pencil and shuffled her papers. Finally, she spoke quietly. “I know what you’re talking about, Lois,” she said. “It’s Derek, isn’t it. Yes, I knew about it, but it was such a little thing – ”
Lois gasped. “A
Gillian’s eyes widened and she put her hand in front of her mouth. Perhaps she had not expected such vehemence. Lois had shaken her, but she was quick to regain her composure, stood up and walked round to where Lois was sitting. She put a hand on her shoulder, and Lois had great difficulty in not brushing it away.
“It’ll fade,” she assured Lois. “As time goes by it will fall into place. Don’t be too hard on him. Gloria Hathaway could be very persuasive…” Her voice was sad now, and she squeezed Lois’s shoulder in a way that was not wholly pleasant. Lois was silent, thinking hard. “Am I forgiven, then?” Gillian walked back to her seat, and began turning over papers. “Or have I got the sack?” she added, looking up at Lois with a smile.
Lois sighed. “Nope,” she said. “I need the money.”
They hardly spoke again before Lois left, but as she went out of the door to her car, Gillian Surfleet called her back. “Look,” she said. Her voice was odd, and Lois felt a shiver of apprehension. “I want to show you something.” She went to her desk and pulled out a newspaper clipping. It was old and yellowing with a photograph and some text.
“That was Gloria, when she was still at school. Champion that year at swimming,” she said. The picture showed a slight, slim girl in a black swimsuit posed against the sun. Her smile was wide and her hair long and glinting. “She was lovely once, you know,” said Gillian. “And she knew it. Don’t be too hard on Derek, my dear.”
Lois fled. “Something stinks,” she muttered to herself, and drove off much too fast. She felt like rushing home and having a hot shower, but until she calmed down and slowed down to a reasonable speed along the country lanes, she could not acknowledge what she had known for a long time. “Oh no, what a mess,” she said at last. She felt sad and sick at heart for Gillian Surfleet, in spite of everything. It was true, then, what Derek had said about her. There was love – lust, even – in the way she had stroked that creased bit of newspaper.
Lois had much to think about and when she went upstairs for a pee she didn’t question that Josie’s bedroom door was not standing open as usual. It was firmly shut and though it registered with Lois, she thought no more about it. Derek would be home at any minute for his lunch and she put on some water for boil-in-the-bag cod steaks. Quick and easy and not all that bad for you, she thought. Anyway, I don’t feel like slaving over a hot stove for my lord and master just at the moment.
She stood waiting for the water to boil and thought again about Josie. Maybe she had come back for something and shut her door behind her? She had a key of her own now. Lois dropped the plastic bag in the water and went back upstairs to check. She pushed open the door and peered into a darkened room. “Josie?” The curtains were drawn, and Lois could make out a hump on the bed that was Josie, curled up under the duvet, either fast asleep or pretending to be so.
“Are you OK?” she said gently. Josie had been very quiet lately, but Lois could not remember exactly when it had started. After Melvyn left, she supposed. She felt guilty that her own troubles had taken up all her thoughts. She should have asked Josie, tried to find out what was wrong.
“Josie? Aren’t you feeling well?”
A muffled voice said, “Go away,” but Lois sat down on the edge of the bed. “Please, Mum,” said the voice. “I’ve got a sore throat, so they sent me home. It’s really bad and I just want to sleep.” Lois frowned. A sore throat didn’t sound bad enough to be sent home for. Still, perhaps it was ‘flu. There was a lot of it about. “Shall I get you a hot drink, love?” she offered.
“Just leave me alone.” Josie was shaking, but Lois couldn’t tell if it was crying or the start of a temperature. She stood up and walked to the door. “Try to sleep, then,” she said. “I’ll come up again a bit later. See how you are.”
Derek was worried. “She’s not been right for quite a while,” he said. “You don’t think…?”
Lois’s reply was sharp. “Think she’s pregnant? Or on something? Well, it could be either. But then again, it could be ‘flu. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt, shall we? Not everyone has a guilty secret.” She might as well have slapped his face.
“Fair enough,” he said, and without touching his ice-cream, he put on his coat and left. He didn’t say goodbye and he certainly did not blow her a kiss. Her heart rose again when the door opened and he poked his head back round the door, but all he said was, “Better get the doc if she’s no better by teatime.” And then he was gone again.
Well done, Lois. You really handled that well. She cleared away the dishes and washed up. Maybe a little quiet thinking would be good for her. She took out her notebook and began to write.
