grace to the courteous Englishman, paying him many compliments for his design of carrying on a
THAUMASTES VISITS PANTAGRUEL.
great disputation by signs <6 only. After which, Thaumastes, who, by the way, had not quite got over his fear of the Giant, went straight to the Cluny Hotel, where he lodged, declaring when he reached there that he had never felt so thirsty in all his life. He swore to the landlord that he thought that terrible
THE GREAT COLLEGE WAS PACKED.
Pantagruel was even then clutching him by his throat — so very dry and ready to choke he was.
On his side, too, Pantagruel was grievously disturbed. He did nothing in the first part of his sleep, that night, but dream about books with hard Latin titles, and visions of phantom hands hovering in the air around his head, and making passes under his very nose. All he could do was to turn and twist, and twist and turn again, in his bed, and groan, so dolefully, that Panurge, rudely wakened from his first nap, ventured to come into the room.
'My lord,' he said, as he approached the bed, 'don't trouble yourself about this matter. Turn on your right side like a good Christian, and go to sleep. With your permission, I shall answer Mr. Englishman to-morrow. By my faith ! I never yet saw an Englishman who knew what to do with his fingers !'
Pantagruel was, of course, delighted to hear this. He knew how sharp Panurge was, and how far he could go beyond other men. But somehow he still had his misgivings; and so he turned his big body around for the last time and went to sleep, only to be haunted all night long by Latin books with hard names, and a plague of mocking fingers making signs under his nose.
The next morning, the great College of Navarre was packed with people to hear the famous dispute between the Giant and the Englishman.
As soon as Pantagruel and Panurge reached the hall, all the professors and students began, as was their custom, to clap with their hands. But Pantagruel shouted out at the top of his voice, which sounded as if a double cannon had been of a sudden shot off: 'Peace, all! If you trouble me here, I shall cut off the heads of every one of you.' At this terrible threat, the crowd stood amazed, and did not dare even cough. The fact is, they grew so thirsty, all of a sudden, that their tongues dropped out from their throats as if Pantagruel, instead of stepping on the platform, had gone from one to the other salting them all.
When everything was quiet, Panurge stepped forward with a pleasant smile, and addressed the Englishman in these words : —
It I am only an insignificant pupil of my royal master, Prince Pantagruel, whose reputation, here and elsewhere, is so noble and so exalted; but I swear that I shall convince thee that, in all signs made in the sacred name of Science, I am thy master, and can give thee all the lessons thou mayst need.'
'Is that so?' cried Thaumastes ; 'then, let us begin !'
It was a battle of signs, as we know already, not of words. The Englishman made the first sign.
Some people thought at the time that Panurge, in his answer, showed rather too plainly the low opinion he had of his learned antagonist's skill in finger-moving. He suddenly raised his right hand in air, then put the thumb inside of his right nostril while keeping the four fingers stretched out, but close together in a line parallel with the tip of his nose — meanwhile closing the left eye completely, and depressing
THE DISPUTATION.
the right eye. Then he raised on high his left hand, with close pressing and extension of the four fingers and elevation of the thumb, holding his left hand in a straight line with his right, with about a cubit and a half between them.
The Englishman answered, without seeming to understand this sign of Pan urge.
Then Panurge replied.
Then the Englishman.
Then Panurge.
Then both other, and with the neatest, the beautiful, the most speaking, made, one after the the greatest rapidity, most skilful, the most most dazzling, the so to say, signs, all in
PANURGE REPLIES.
the name of Science, but all so much in favor of Panurge, with the little talking devil there is in French fingers, that Thaumastes became so confounded that he began to blow like a goose, and finally gave up the fight. But the Englishman, when he had been beaten, was honest enough to say so. Rising from his seat, while gallantly taking off his cap, he thanked Panurge in a low tone. Then, with a loud voice, he addressed the learned assembly : —
'My lords, at this time, I can surely say that you have an incomparable treasure in your presence. I refer to my Lord Pantagruel, whose fame alone brought me here from the other end of England. But you can better judge how learned the master must be since I find so much skill in his pupil, for I have always heard that the scholar is never above the master.'
It is said that the Englishman, after his defeat, was well and honorably treated by Pantagruel. It was also whispered that Thaumastes, on his return to England, caused to be printed in London a book which contained all the signs and the meanings of the Great Disputation, but of which, strange to say, no copy has reached this day.
CHAPTER XXVII.
WHAT SORT OF MAN PANURGE WAS, AND THE MANY TRICKS HE KNEW.
THE new friend and attendant of Panta-gruel was, as has already been seen, a man of good presence, neither too tall nor too short. His nose was a fine aquiline, so fine and sharp, indeed, that its curve was said by even his best friends to look for all the world like the blade of a razor. He was thirty-five years old, or thereabout, and was the gayest, maddest, most reckless roisterer that gay, mad, reckless, roistering Paris had ever welcomed within her walls. His purse never knew what it was to be full. For, although he had, as he was fond of boasting, as many as sixty-three different ways of getting money, he always had two hundred and fourteen different ways of spending it. The fact is, Panurge had as many cunning ways as a monkey, and could have taught the wisest and grayest old monkey in the forest tricks of which he, in his simplicity, had never once dreamed. He made it a point never to go abroad without having a flask of good wine and a fat, juicy slice of bacon hidden away under his gown, saying, ''These are my body-guard. I have no other sword.' But if he had one special weakness, it was the bitter hatred he bore against the sergeants and the city-watch of Paris. Of course, these little eccentricities all came out in time, and so became gradually known to Pantagruel, who often frowned on them, but could not, for the life of him, each time he heard of a new prank, help shaking the houses within a mile around, with the rumble of his hearty laughter.
It was one favorite custom of Panurge to gather three or four good fellows, and make them drink like Templars toward nightfall, when he would lead them to the high ground just above the church St. Genevieve, or near the college of Navarre, about the hour the city-watch were taking their rounds on the low ground below. He could always make sure of the hour of the guard by laying a sword down on the pavement, with his ear very close to it; and when he would hear the sword hum, he knew that the watch were coming. As soon
PANURGE GETS MONET.
as he had made sure of that, he and his companion would begin to push one of the dirt-carts, always about there, with all their strength, into the hollow, where it would come tumbling down on the unhappy watch, who, by
