sofa between them. «Anything else?
Stark and Savard shook their heads.
'Felicias still workingshe says shes getting closer,' Mac offered desperately. When Cam had told him about the call from Carlisle and her imminent suspension, hed wanted to punch something. 'Ive got some stuff on the reporter. Nothing much there, though.'
'Can you guys give us a while, and then well regroup and see where we are?' Blair asked quietly. 'Ill call you when were ready.'
'Its okay', Cam murmured as her agents hastened to leave.
'No, its not', Blair answered just as softly. 'But it will be.'
*****
When the door closed behind the team members, Cam, still seated on the couch, dropped her head into her hands, her elbows braced on her knees.
'Ah, fuck,' she said wearily. 'Christ, I'm sorry.'
Blair went to her side, sat close, and rested her left hand lightly on the small of Cam's back. The shirt was soaked with sweat even though the loft was cool. The anguish in Cam's voice was so rare, and so raw, she felt the edges of her own soul bleed.
'Cam,' she said quietly, her fingers making small light circles over the tense muscles. 'What are you sorry for?'
Without lifting her head, without turning toward her lover's soothing voice, Cam replied dully, 'I'm sorry my past is causing trouble for you now. I had no idea... I can't believe Doyle and Janet... Jesus Christ.'
'It's not your fault that Doyle is doing this, Cam,' Blair said reasonably.
'If I'd been there for her, she might be alive,' Cam said sharply, finally straightening, her anger whipping through her frame, making her tremble. 'If I'd asked her about her assignment,cared about what she was doing...if I'd done more thandrop around when I needed...oh fuck, you don't need to hear this.'
Cam got abruptly to her feet, desperately trying to regain control. She was tired, and the goddamn headache was back, and she was having trouble pushing the memories back where they belonged, behind the door that she kept locked and barricaded.
Blair reached for her lover's hand and said firmly, 'Sit back down, Cameron.'
For a second, Cam resisted, and then almost against her will, she did. Turning, she met Blair's eyes, her own clouded with regret. 'I've made so many mistakes. With Janet, with you. It's bad enough that I got involved with you while I was on the detail. I never thought anyone would find out about the escort service, and before, when it was just me at risk, I didn't care. Now, I've pulled you into this and I'm sorry.'
Blairs gaze never wavered. 'I know you're tired, because I am, too. I have a feeling your concussion was a lot worse than we thought, because I can tell the pain is back now. I know youre worried about me. I know what it will mean to you if there's an inquiry and your competence is questioned. Iknow all those things, Cam.' Blair paused a beat and then said in a strong, resolute voice, 'But if youever apologize to me again for loving me, I'm going to tell you to leave...and not come back.'
Cam's eyes widened and she jerked, feeling the invisible blow as surely as a fist. After a full minute she breathed, 'Blair,' and lifted her fingers to stroke the rigid line of Blair's tense jaw. 'I'm not sorry for loving you. Loving you is the best thing Ive ever done in my life. I'm only sorry that my loving you has brought you pain.'
'It hasn't-not once,' Blair said softly, lifting her hand and closing her fingers over Cam's. 'You're not to blame for Janet's death, and you're not at fault for being unable to prevent it. You're not always responsible, Cam, for what happens to other people. I know that's what makes you who you are, and I love you for it. But sometimes you have to let it go. If you dont, it's going to destroy you...or us.'
'Ah, god.' Cam's intake of breath was sharp. 'I'd do anything not to lose you.'
'Well, good.' Blair drew her first full breath in many minutes, then smiled a bit tremulously. 'Because I need you so very much.'
Leaning forward, Cam kissed her mouth, gently at first and then with increasing urgency, a kiss heavy with possession and need. Blair's hands came to Cam's chest, then moved upward inside the collar of her shirt, to the back of her neck, insinuating her fingers into the thick dark hair, pulling her head closer, hungry for her. Minutes later when they pulled away from each other, both of them gasping, Blair moaned, 'God, you make me ache inside.'
The feel of her, the want in her voice, the urgency in her words made Cam's head swim. All she could see was her; all she could think of was the heat of her flesh and the sound of her cries and the beating of her heart beneath her own fingers and tongue. 'I want you now. Right now.'
'I knowI can feel it. I can see it your eyes. I love the way you want me.'
When Cam lifted shaking hands to Blair's shirt, Blair stopped her, resting her fingers around Cam's wrists. 'We've got a lot to do before tomorrow morning,' she managed through a throat thick with need.
'I'll be able to think better if all my blood isn't pooling between my legs,' Cam insisted, sliding her palms under the material over the bare breasts beneath. Blair's sigh of pleasure was all the permission she needed to continue. Shifting, she pressed Blair back against the pillows on the sofa and fitted herself between Blair's legs. They were both still dressed, but Cam had bared Blair's breasts and abdomen. Rocking her hips into space between her lovers thighs, Cam braced herself on her extended arms and lowered her head to work her lips and tongue over Blair's nipples and the sides of her breast and down the center of her belly. By the time she reached her navel and tugged at the small gold ring with her teeth, Blair was moaning, her head rocking from side to side. Sitting back on her knees, Cam freed the buttons on Blair's jeans and worked the zipper down, switching her hands to the waistband as Blair lifted her hips to help push them off.
Once the jeans were below Blair's knees, Cam ran her fingers up the inside of Blair's legs, teasing them apart, making room for her mouth.
Blair was ready, the way Cam knew she would be. Already swollen, pulsating, heavy and dark with urgency and blood, Cam inhaled her arousal and felt the answering beat between her own thighs.
'Ah, god...when I touch you, I can feel it inside like you're touching me back. I could come from making you come.'
'Try,' Blair whispered hoarsely.
Cam laughed and lowered her head. She didn't rush; she didn't tease; she took her steadily and certainly and unerringly. She knew when to tug and when to suck and when to slowly work her tongue around the pounding, quivering nerve center, following the rise of Blair's hips, riding the crescendo of her cries.
Together, their blood soared and when their passion surged, it flowed as one, anointing them both.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Cam turned on her side, her cheek resting on Blair's lower abdomen. Sighing, she murmured drowsily, 'Why is that I can't remember what I was so worried about ten minutes ago?'
Blair threaded her fingers through Cam's hair and drew the damp strands over her palm. 'Sex does that. It melts your synapses, at least it does when we do it.'
'Well, Id better get my brain reconnected.' Cam pushed herself upright, her hand trailing lightly up and down Blair's bare thigh. 'I need to review the Paris itinerary with Mac tonight and be sure everything is in place since I won't be go-'
'If you don't go, I don't go,' Blair said with absolute finality.
Cam turned your head and studied her lover, who still reclined among the displaced cushions, her clothes disheveled, her color still high with their lingering passion. She was beautiful and strong and everything that mattered in Cam's life.
'You have to go.'
'No, I don't. It's a public relations trip and there are plenty of other people my father or rather, Lucinda, can tap to make nice to the French President and whoever else needs to be stroked. It doesn't have to be me, and it's notgoing to be menot unless you go as my security chief.'
Cam raised an eyebrow. 'Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you nearly freeze me out a month ago after I took the reassignment as your security chief?'
'That was different,' Blair said calmly. 'That was your choice, and you made it without my input. You were
