traffic behind me.
I pull into a loading zone in front of a neighborhood deli. I realize I’d at least half expected Faith to scream. She’s sitting as far from me as she seems physically able, recoiled into the door, arms crossed.
“You’ve got a child.” It’s a condemnation what father would act so suicidal?
“Enough.”
“What?”
“Enough, Faith!”
“Okay. Let me talk.”
14
She looks down. I assume she’s trying to escape the moment, but then realize she’s glancing at the center-console cup holder. In it sits a days-old, half-drunk cup of coffee that has dribbled dark remnants down its side.
“Where are your wipes?”
“What?”
“Every parent has baby wipes in their car.”
She swivels her head to look in the back.
“C’mon, Faith.”
She nods and takes a deep breath. “That really freaked me out-what happened at the subway.”
“And?”
“And I went to Glazed Over yesterday morning to see if he was there.”
“The guy you suddenly remembered knowing.”
“They said they hadn’t seen him.” I can’t tell if she’s tacitly acknowledging that her behavior has been odd or just ignoring my critical tone.
“So you’re convinced it was the same guy from the diner.”
She nods.
“What’s his name?”
“Alan.”
“How well do you know Alan?”
“I talked to him with some regularity at the diner. But he’s disappeared.”
“Since the subway incident.”
She nods. She says that she got concerned because people who worked at the diner were concerned, having not remembered a day when Alan failed to buy a cup of coffee or at least linger at the tables out front among the sometimes trendy set. I can picture the kind of place and the San Francisco patrons, hybrids to the core in every aspect of their lives; they arrive in a Prius, loose from the back a labraschnoodle-one-third each chocolate lab, schnauzer and poodle-and sit with it outside sipping half-caf low-fat lattes. I’m not so different-well, substitute Isaac for the pup.
“Faith, I suppose I appreciate your concern for him but I don’t get why you’re taking such an interest.”
She looks at me. “You think you’re the only paranoid one?”
“Meaning what?”
“I looked you up. You get involved in some weird things.”
“What in the world does that have to do with you? What were you doing at the subway, Faith?”
She looks out her window but remains silent. The dashboard clock moves from 11:12 to 11:13.
“Faith.”
“He, Alan, asked me to be at the subway.”
At last, a ring of truth.
“So you lied to me.”
No response.
“Why, Faith?”
“Why did I lie to you or why did he want me to be at the subway?”
I smirk.
“I’m not entirely sure why he wanted me there. He said he needed my help getting your attention but I swear to you that I’m not sure why.”
“You’re not telling me the whole story.”
“Help me find him so we can both understand the whole story. We’re here. The cafe’s just a block up on the left.”
Her pause seems resolute. I’m making progress. I can afford to wait.
Here is Twenty-fourth and Potrero, which is not just an intersection but also a metaphor for one. This is where old-world, working-class San Francisco meets new money and tastes. Mexican groceries, tamale shops, trinket and clothing stories with pinatas and large inflatable animals dangling from their awnings anchor down a tenacious working-class culture. But they intersperse now with the occasional martini bar, an ice- cream joint that sells bourbon-and-oatmeal-flavored organic scoops, and a cafe that seems to draw from both worlds, the Glazed Over.
Three sturdy wooden tables grace the front, with napkin holders and tins of sugar packets aligned neatly in their centers. At one table sits a woman in formfitting jogging attire and a wool hat, sipping a bowl-sized cup with two hands, braving the chill or inured to it by runner’s high and caffeine. A leash attached to her right arm leads to her feet and an Australian shepherd with furtive eyes.
Through a big front window pockmarked with smudges, I see a setting no bigger than a studio apartment with a handful of tables. Behind the counter stands a stoop-shouldered Latina in her fifties wearing a hairnet, sipping an energy drink in a narrow can. And behind her, dozens of doughnuts lay in racks separating the front from a kitchen in back.
Faith walks to the counter, where I notice the barista has a thin haze covering her dark brown eyes. It might be early onset of macular degeneration, which would be consistent with the condition’s higher incidence in Latin women; it’s caused, I’ve read, by their disproportionate participation in working-class jobs-and their long hours, dim light, overall poor conditions.
Before Faith speaks, the woman turns, uses tongs to pick up a fragrant maple doughnut, whirls back and sets the doughnut on a napkin on the counter. “Coffee with enough room for extras?” the woman asks, lightly accented. Must be Faith’s regular order.
“Thanks, and one for my friend,” Faith says. “But first, I wanted to ask about Alan. Big Alan.”
“I didn’t see him, like I told you. Not for two days. He’s usually here when we open.” She places the top on Faith’s coffee.
“Maybe he’s out of town,” Faith ventures.
“I work with Alan,” I interject. “We’re on an important project and I haven’t been able to reach him by phone. Do you know how I might get ahold of him?”
She shrugs. “Maybe Tony knows.” She walks around the racks and pokes her head into a doorway to the kitchen. Faith looks at me. “That’s the best you can come up with?”
“Award-winning investigative journalist in action.”
We watch through the doughnut racks as the barista talks in Spanish to a man in back holding a large ball of dough. She returns. She stamps her feet in the doorway, sending up a light dusting of cake flour.
“You work with him?” she asks me. “On computers?”
I nod. Good information. “I’m really stuck.”
“You work with him but you don’t know where he lives or how to reach him?”
Checkers just became chess. I’m contemplating which piece to move when Faith reaches into her front pocket. She extracts a twenty-dollar bill. She puts it on the counter. The woman shakes her head.
“The truth is that I’m worried about Alan. He’s sick,” I explain, then pause. I’m woozy, looking for my words. “I like to drink.”
