To Dream of the Dead

‘She was very excited. Almost took the heat out of having the computer impounded.’ Merrily held the kettle under the cold tap. ‘I shouldn’t imagine they invited Professor Blore to hand over his computer.’

‘You had no choice,’ Lol said. ‘If they’d been forced to come back with a warrant they’d’ve turned the whole place over. Jane’s apartment, anyway. And Jane would’ve gone wild.’

‘Well, that’s what I thought, but…’ Merrily plugged in the kettle. ‘They said I might get it back today. As if.’

Lol had turned the laptop towards him on the kitchen table. He would often come over on Saturday mornings, when Jane was usually out. Quality time. Or something. No time for any something today.

‘Thelordofthelight.com. You heard of this one?’

‘There are scores of them, Lol. Probably hundreds in the US alone. Full of raging paranoia and an unforgiving Christ I have problems with. But have I heard of this one? Oh yes.’

Lol had Googled Mathew Stooke, spin doctor to the Antichrist.

‘It’s the name of Shirley’s church, in Leominster,’ Merrily said. ‘They sent me a lovely Christmas card.’

‘Looks bigger than that to me. Bigger than Leominster, that is.’

‘Maybe the source is in America. Often is. What’s the approach?’

‘It’s an endgame thing,’ Lol said. ‘Not too many laughs. Unless you can spot the hidden jokes in the Book of Revelation. Is this Revelation? In the last days, difficult times will come…’

‘Maybe Paul.’

Merrily came to sit next to Lol. The depressing angels had gone; the screen had faded to the colour of dried blood and stark words in white.

… for men will be lovers of self, lovers of money,

boastful, arrogant, disobedient to their parents,

ungrateful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, malicious

gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure

rather than lovers of God…

‘All looks worryingly familiar,’ Lol said. ‘How long do you reckon we have left — two weeks, three weeks? Or do we, um, need to go upstairs now?’

In later times some will fall away from the faith,

paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines

of demons. By means of the hypocrisy of liars

seared in their own conscience as with a branding

iron, men who forbid marriage and advocate

abstaining from foods which God has created to be

gratefully shared in by those who believe and know

the truth.

With a white screen and normal print, implications of the prophecy were explained in detail for LordoftheLight browsers: veggies were spurning the animals God had given them to tame and slaughter. ‘Now that’s interesting,’ Merrily said. ‘I never quite saw it that way myself, but it explains Shirley’s interest in how much meat I don’t buy.’ While the Green movement, with its worship of Mother Earth, was luring people into pagan ways and modern churches were straying from the laws of God by accepting homosexuality and embracing New Age practices.

‘Like meditation, do you think?’

The dour doctrine of Shirley West was unscrolling before her eyes.

Then came the red silhouette of a naked man.

It has been predicted that, close to the Endtime,

Satan will incarnate. He will have neither

horns nor tail. His true identity will not, at first,

be apparent. He himself may not, at first, realise

who he is. He will believe that his mission is to

explain. He will show that everything can be

explained by science. He will be a hero, hailed

a genius.

‘Who do we have here, then?’ Lol wondered. ‘Hawking?’

‘You really see a very seriously disabled man as the Antichrist?’

‘I don’t. They might. Black humour’s a key tool of the prince of darkness. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. What about Dawkins?’

‘Doesn’t have the charisma.’

The Antichrist will create marvels, but will insist that

they are not of supernatural origin.

‘Got him,’ Lol said. ‘It’s that Derren Brown.’

‘You’re bloody well enjoying this, aren’t you?’

‘It’s interesting watching you getting all embarrassed by your own—’

‘This is not my—’ Merrily caught his smile on its way out. ‘Sod.’ Lowered her head wearily to an arm, looking up at him sideways. ‘Lol, what are we doing?’

‘We’re uncovering the motivational psychology of Shirley West. It’s worth knowing. Ah…’

The New Labour government, elected in Britain

in 1997, was largely a product of spin and the

manipulation of the media. Nobody seemed

even to be aware of its policies, responding only

to its apparently clean and youthful image,

its demolition of the reputation of the existing

government and its promise that ‘things can only

get better’. In the same way, the Antichrist has his

own spin doctors, men and women skilled in

the craft of communication, lending their services

to Satan in the same way that the journalist

Campbell made his available to New Labour.

In line with the Endtime prophesies, these men

are already amongst us, one of them the author of a

book which sneers openly at God. Doubters may

care to count the number of letters in each of his

names.

MATHEW ELLIOT STOOKE.

Merrily sat up slowly.

In this context, it is pertinent to ask why he chose