matters is that it seems to threaten at least one death and probably an international incident, hence the concern of my diplomatic brother. It may well be that you are the only person who can assist me at present, and I would ask you to do so in the certainty that you will be assisting your country in avoiding an unpleasant incident and maybe saving a number of lives.’
The colonel looked as bewildered as I had been. ‘If that’s the case, then I shall help you in any way that I can, but I cannot imagine what help you require from me, Mr Holmes.’
‘Do you know Agatha Wortley-Swan?’ asked Holmes.
‘Of course I do,’ said Wilmshaw. ‘I was very nearly engaged to her years ago, but Johnny Parkes came up on my blind side and took her off.’
‘So you knew her and Captain Parkes well,’ said Holmes. ‘When were you last in touch with her?’
The colonel looked at the ceiling. ‘A long time ago,’ he said at last. ‘Years and years. Of course, you will know how Johnny Parkes died, just as they were going to tie the knot. I was going to be their best man, you know. I was at that wretched party in Paris.’
He paused, and one could see that his eyes were seeing scenes long gone.
‘If it had been possible, I would have taken her up, after Johnny was killed, but it couldn’t be. I was too much a part of it, Mr Holmes. I would always have been a reminder to her. She shut herself away and I went where the Army sent me. Of course, I heard of her through mutual friends, but all I heard was that she became a recluse for years and then took up some kind of charitable work.’
He sipped his tea, reflectively.
‘It was a damned shame, Mr Holmes, the whole thing. Is that what you wish to ask about?’
‘Why do you think so, Colonel?’
‘Because the job was never done properly at the time. It was all pushed under the carpet because it happened in a foreign capital and there were foreign diplomats involved. So they said poor old Johnny fell in with some French garrotters. I’m sure he did - I saw his body - but there was more to it than that.
Still, nobody wanted to know.’
‘I want to know, Colonel,’ said Holmes. ‘I want to know everything you can tell me about the death of Captain Parkes.’
The colonel looked at Holmes with a thoughtful expression for a while, then he said, ‘I’m extremely glad to hear it, Mr Holmes. Where would you like me to begin?’
‘From whatever you think was the beginning, Colonel.’
‘Well now, I’d better tell you a bit about me and Johnny Parkes. We were old pals. We’d been at school together, took our papers out together, joined the same regiment. We were subalterns together and we made captain together, and I suppose that’s how we both fell for Agatha at the same time. She was a great beauty, you know, pictures in the Graphic and that, you could even buy postcards of her, but Johnny and I were her regular escorts. That’s both of us, I mean. We used to go around as a threesome.
She used to say that it made it obvious that she wasn’t going to make her mind up in a hurry and that two escorts keep the mashers at bay better than one.’
He smiled, reminiscently. ‘We had some good times,’ he recalled. ‘Went everywhere together, balls, picnics, riding, boating, always the three of us. Then Johnny and I were sent over to Paris, attached to the embassy there. I was on duty the night before we left, so Johnny took Agatha out to dinner. I remember when he came back. He looked a bit straight-faced and I chaffed him about it, said
something like, “Been out with the prettiest girl in London and off to gay Paree in the morning and you’ve got a face like a boot!” Well, that was when he told me that he’d proposed to Agatha over dinner and she’d accepted him.’
He shook his head slowly. ‘I suppose that was all my fault. I hadn’t been thinking about marrying, I’d been just getting ahead in the Army and having my fun. Maybe she saw that Johnny was a better bet. I don’t know. Anyway, it was done, so one made the best of it, of course. If Agatha was to be anyone’s but mine then it had to be Johnny. I couldn’t have imagined her tied up with anyone else. So I congratulated him and we had a drink or two and that was alright.’
He sipped his tea. ‘So off we went to Paris, and we were going to be there some months, so Johnny and Agatha were going to tie the knot when we came home and I was to be their best man. Johnny and I had some good times in France. Sometimes I had to remind him he was as good as married, but it was nothing serious. He was Agatha’s all through. Then she wired him that she and her mother were coming over for a few days to buy her trousseau, which bucked Johnny up no end.’
He smiled again. ‘Almost old times it was, the three of us going about Paris, but of course we often had Agatha’s mother in tow. That’s how we ended up at the ball, really. It was at the Hungarian Embassy and I admit they do put on a good show, but Johnny and I had been sent round all the embassies a couple of times already. You know the game - a couple of fresh young men, might pick up an indiscreet remark from somebody’s daughter or wife, that sort of thing. All rubbish really, but that’s how these Intelligence fellows think. So we’d done our bit at that game and as to Agatha, well, she’d been going to balls ever since she came out. We wanted to go to a theatre, but you couldn’t get Agatha’s mother into a French theatre for love nor money, quite convinced it was all too immoral for words. She must go to the Hungarian Ball, so we went along, and I daresay that Johnny didn’t mind showing off his lovely fiancee to the world.
‘So we put on best bib and tucker and went along. It was the usual sort of thing, lots of uniforms, lots of evening dress, lots of ball gowns, plenty of drink, a huge buffet with lots of foreign food you’ve never heard of, everybody being dreadfully friendly and chummy with everybody else, even if they’d been threatening war last week. Well, you learn to make the best of ’em, Mr Holmes, all part of the job when you’re attached to an embassy, so I had a few drinks and a few dances and a poke at the buffet, and that’s where it happened.‘
Colonel Wilmshaw looked about him. Holmes saw the look and stepped to the sideboard, offering our guest a brandy. When we all had a drink the old soldier resumed his tale.
‘I suppose it was about halfway through the evening. I was in the buffet and Johnny came in, going to fetch something for Agatha, I suppose. He came up alongside me and we were chatting when we both heard this fellow standing near make an astoundingly coarse remark. It would have been wretchedly bad form in any case - that sort of nonsense belongs to the barrack room if it has a place - but it was worse than that. The comment was plainly about Agatha. Now, he said it in French, of course, but the very reason Johnny and I had been attached to the embassy was because we were both dab hands at the lingo.’
The colonel sipped his brandy and shook his head. ‘I’d heard the fellow, Johnny had heard him. I thought, “Here’s trouble!” but Johnny was ice-cold. He laid down his plate and napkin and stepped up to the fellow who’d said it and tapped him on the shoulder. He swung round and I could see he was a Russian colonel, though young for the rank. He said, “You interrupt me, Captain,” in French. Johnny said, “Colonel, you have just passed a damnably filthy observation about the lady who I intend to marry. I require you to withdraw your vile comment and apologize.” He said it loudly, in English, and you could hear the whole room go quiet.’
‘The Russian smiled at Johnny, and he says - in English too - “Captain, I shall make whatever observations I choose to my friends, without your permission. If they offend you, you know the remedy. You are at liberty to call me out. I shall be pleased to respond.”’
‘But Captain Parkes could not challenge the Russian,’ I said.
‘Certainly not,’ agreed the colonel, ‘and I was about to remind him of that, but I didn’t have to. I’ve never seen Johnny so angry. He was burning with rage and as white as paper, but he had absolute control of himself. He said, “You must know very well, Colonel, that I am not permitted by the laws of this or my own country, or by the regulations of my service, to call you out. Were it not so, I should welcome the opportunity of killing you.” The Russian laughed aloud. He said, “It is easy to make bold claims when you also claim the protection of the law, Captain. In Russia if we believe that we have been dishonoured we attempt to kill the man who did it. You, it seems, do not.”
‘Johnny took a step forward and I grasped his arm. “You, Colonel, are a filthy-mouthed scoundrel and I demand your apology and withdrawal.” The Russian laughed again. “And you shall not have it. I have offered you satisfaction of a kind which is, it seems, too strong for you. That is all you shall have. If the British Army chooses not to fight, I shall certainly not surrender.” Johnny said, “The British Army exists to kill the enemies of Britain, not to play personal games, but this matter will not end here.” “Oh, I think it will,” said the Russian, and he walked off
