Beyond Shame

She edged her legs wider, too wanton to deny him—or herself. “Dallas thinks I’m adorably submissive.”

Jasper’s voice dropped to a growl. “Are you?”

The growl was good. It shivered through her, pulsed between her legs, and if he didn’t touch her soon, maybe she’d do it herself. “I don’t know. I understand the words, but I think they mean more to you than they do to me.”

“You do know.” His fingers gripped her thigh. “Did you like it when she pulled your hair? When he did? When he was telling the two of you what would get him off?”

Submissive. Inclined to submit. To obey, to yield. To give control and authority over herself to another. Wasn’t that at the root of her confusion? Lex had offered her sexual liberation, and Noelle had reacted with shame and disappointment. But was that because she didn’t want to shoulder the burden of her sinful desires, or because it truly appealed to her?

Did it matter, in the end, if she enjoyed it? “I liked it,” she admitted. “I like imagining you doing things.”

“Things like this?” His hand moved higher, and his thumb brushed the thin fabric covering her sex.

The touch set off a cascade of desire that left her trembling, and yet it was so gentle. Too gentle. “Worse things.” It came out as a breathless whisper. “Bad things.”

“Luscious things,” he countered, turning her head toward Dallas’s stage. “Watch them now.”

Her breath escaped on a gasp as she watched Lex take Dallas between her lips, into her mouth— deeper. Noelle clutched at Jasper’s arm, transfixed as Lex surged down again. “She’s taking him into her throat?” She couldn’t decide if the thought was terrifying or so hot she might combust.

“Swallowing him whole.” The pressure of Jasper’s thumb increased, but only for a moment. “Does it look like she’s submitting?”

She parted her lips to say yes, but hesitated. There was too much power in Lex’s posture, too much defiance. Even when a dark-haired man covered in tattoos slid behind her and began to ease up her dress, Lex looked entirely in control of both men, as if Dallas was putty in her hands and the man behind her was there only for her pleasure.

“No,” she answered finally. “She’s not submitting.”

“No. She’s in charge. She’s the one who decides.” He moved his hand then, lifting it to cup Noelle’s breast through her thin dress. “Just like you.”

Her nipple grew tight, pushing against his hand, and she wanted to feel his broad fingers against her skin. “What if I don’t want to be in charge?”

“Then you get ink. Because once you submit to a man, really submit, he’s not gonna want to let you go.”

She wet her lips, suddenly uncertain. “But how do I keep from doing that before I’m supposed to?”

“You give pleasure, not yourself.” He pulled the bodice of her dress lower, baring her breast.

Across the room, a redhead with a wicked smile stared at her. No, at her chest, his gaze starved as it traced the curve of her breast, the tight nipple, and she felt the first stirrings of power. Was this how Lex felt when Dallas gazed at her with naked hunger? This certainty that she was desired, coveted, and could grant or withhold her affections at her whim?

Maybe bestowing it would be enjoyable. Lex seemed to revel in tormenting Dallas with her tongue while the dark-haired man stroked his fingers between her thighs.

Noelle turned her face enough to speak against Jasper’s jaw. “Do you want me to give pleasure to other men?”

“Your desire, Noelle,” he reminded her. “Do you want to?”

“I don’t know,” she lied, because she didn’t want him to encourage more fantasies. Her imagination was all too ready to conjure one involving the smiling redhead and Jasper and being held immobile as rough hands explored her body.

Jasper made a quiet noise and set her on her feet, rising behind her. “Back to the platform,” he murmured.

“Why?” she asked, nerves rendering her clumsy, but he was already guiding her back to the raised platform where Dallas watched her approach with half-open eyes.

“Because you won’t know if you like pleasuring other men until you do it.” Jasper’s voice dropped, and his lips brushed her ear. “Get your mouth on his dick this time.”

An order. A command. No shame in obedience, no wondering if they’d find her dark urges repellent. The stage was low enough she could climb onto it without using the steps. It left her on her hands and knees, her dress riding up to flash her panties, and she twisted to peer at Jasper, more aware this time of the way she must look to the room. “Now?”

He reached out and slid his hand up Lex’s spine. “Move over, greedy bitch.”

Lex braced one arm on the couch beside Dallas and drew her tongue up the underside of his shaft. “Plenty of room.” She brushed Noelle’s cheek with her free hand. “You come back for another tutorial, honey?”

Pressing up to Lex also brought her closer to the tattooed stranger. He was familiar—maybe he’d been the one with Jasper in the market, had helped to rescue her.

He grinned at her and gave Lex’s hip a swat that made Noelle’s insides clench in envy. “Want me to knock off, Lex? Or are you so good you can teach a virgin to suck cock while you’re riding my hand?”

“Ask our fearless leader here how good I am, Ace.” She circled her hips slowly against the man’s hand as she leaned over to lick Noelle’s lower lip.

Lex made it easy to fall into. It felt good to kiss her, open mouthed, felt better to follow her back to where Dallas’s erection—dick, she whispered to herself, cock—stood thick and glistening, harder than before. Shivering, Noelle parted her lips and traced the tip of her tongue up his shaft.

Dallas sank a hand into her hair, his fingers more gentle than commanding. “Come now, kitten. Lex didn’t teach you to be so prissy.”

No, Lex had lapped at him like a melting ice cream cone on a hot day. The image made Noelle laugh as she opened her mouth wider and swirled her tongue around the crown of his cock.

Jasper whispered her name, and she felt the careful brush of his hands pushing her skirt higher, up over her hips to her waist. Then he curled his fingers under the back of her panties and drew them down.

The whole room could see her. Jasper’s bulk might block some people’s field of vision, but others would see everything. Her bare ass. Her—her pussy. Just thinking the word felt wrong, even with one man’s cock under her tongue and another man pushing her panties down her legs.

Her cheeks burned, but the rest of her burned so much hotter that she prayed Jasper would touch her and put her out of her aching, frustrated misery.

He eased her legs apart, as far as they would go with the restraint of ruffled lace still around her knees. His touch strayed close, so close, to her throbbing clit…and vanished.

Then his palm descended on her ass with the sharp, stinging crack of flesh on flesh.

She couldn’t stop herself from squealing. The cry escaped her lips, and she tried to throw her head back, but Dallas’s hand tightened, holding her in place as she panted and squirmed.

Jasper’s handprint was burned into her skin, but somewhere inside her the sharp pain had twisted. She was twisted, a dirty, wicked girl who wanted this crude mistreatment, who craved it.

Maybe if he spanked her enough, he’d purge all the shame from her heart.

Dallas tugged at her hair, forcing her to look at him. His lazy gaze drifted over her features, and his lips twitched up in a smile. “Ah, Lexie my love. Your kitten’s a bad girl. You’ll have to make sure she doesn’t get distracted from my cock.”

“Dirty old man,” she muttered, sliding her fingers into Noelle’s hair. “Take him in your mouth, honey, and trust me. Yes?”

“Yes,” she whispered, savoring Lex’s touch. Different than the men’s. Softer but more direct, as if she knew just what it took to blur pleasure into pain.

She probably did. She probably knew everything, all that Noelle wanted so badly to learn. So she parted her lips and let Lex guide her head down until Dallas’s cock pushed into her mouth, hard and hot and deliciously demanding.