Beyond Shame

“I think so.” Easier now that Ace had been between her thighs. His touch had been pleasurable, but he wasn’t the one her gaze kept automatically seeking. Sex, but nothing else. Nothing more.

“Sex can mean nothing. That’s simple. It can be curious or spiteful or friendly—a thousand other things that are mostly simple too. But it can get complicated fast.”

“Just for us?” Noelle asked softly. “Or for the men too?”

“For everyone. Absolute freedom of choice, Noelle. You don’t have to pick a very proper, appropriate man—or a man at all. Hell, you don’t even have to choose only one person. It’s…heady.”

The words held an odd sort of intensity, almost as if Amira was trying to convince Noelle. Or maybe warn her. “It is heady. It’s overwhelming.”

“Which makes time your friend, yes?”

She couldn’t help but smile. “Jasper agrees with you, I think. Either that or I’m doing something really wrong.”

“No, Jasper’s a smart one.” A hint of color rose in Amira’s cheeks. “Though I can understand why you’d be eager to lock that down.”

She made it sound like a competition, but when Noelle glanced over the crowd again, she saw far more men than women. Lex had told her outsiders wouldn’t be allowed tonight, unlike the fights and some of Dallas’s more extravagant parties. Tonight was only O’Kanes, and when Noelle realized that, she realized how many men were watching her.

Too many. Maybe the transparent shirt with her breasts on proud display had been more of an invitation than she needed. Amira was wrapped in a flowing gown that clung to her curves but covered her modestly enough.

Noelle tipped her head forward so her hair slid over her shoulders to mostly cover her flaming cheeks. “Are they watching me because I’m the new girl, or because Lex shouldn’t have let me wear this?”

“Maybe they want to find out if they have a shot.” Amira chuckled and stretched up to kiss Noelle’s cheek. “Welcome to the family.”

Returning the kiss would probably bring more male attention, but Noelle brushed her lips over Amira’s soft skin. “Thank you. And I’ll be grateful forever if you tell me what I’m supposed to do tonight.”

“You’re supposed to drink, princess,” a familiar voice drawled from behind her. Ace swooped down to lay a smacking kiss on Amira’s lips before winking at Noelle. “Jasper and Dallas will be along in a few minutes, and then Noelle here can run the gauntlet.”

“The gauntlet?” Noelle asked, sounding more alarmed than she’d intended.

“Part of the family, part of the business.” Amira looped an arm around Ace’s neck. “Tonight, you familiarize yourself with the O’Kane product line.”

Ace tugged Noelle against his side. It didn’t seem particularly sexual, no more than everything else Ace did. He tucked Amira under his other arm as if casual touches were to be expected, even when a woman belonged to another man.

There didn’t seem to be any harm in it, so Noelle relaxed into the easy embrace as Ace grinned. “One shot of each, princess, and be glad you’re a woman. For men it’s two shots, though we have one sassy lady who ran the full line up and down and did it better than most of the brothers.”

“Lex?” Noelle guessed.

“Rachel,” Amira corrected. “Poor Ace. A woman who can drink him under the table. I think he lost his heart that day.”

Ace huffed. “I think we all did, doll. O’Kane is liquor, and Rachel’s our goddess.”

“Then have a few for me tonight, huh?” Amira looked down at the swell of her belly, barely noticeable until she rubbed her hand across it.

Noelle expected another lewd comment, but Ace untangled himself from their embraces and crouched in front of Amira. Pulling the fabric taut across her belly, he leaned close. “Listen to your Uncle Ace, peanut. You come out gorgeous like your mama instead of ugly like your papa, all right?”

“Hate to interrupt a moment of Ace being adorable,” Rachel said from behind them, her voice full of amusement. “But I’ve got to steal Noelle. Open bar time, honey.”

“I’m always adorable,” Ace retorted, and Noelle laughed as she turned to Rachel. Her gaze drifted over the crowd again, but Jasper still hadn’t appeared.

It hurt. He’d stripped her bare that morning with Ace, not just her body but her soul. Nothing that intense could simply be sex, not when he’d held her and stroked her as she drifted in warm haze long past the point where Ace had finished and put away the needles.

Or maybe that was what Amira had been trying to tell her, that a girl from the city couldn’t possibly understand the difference between casual and more after less than a week.

Wetting her lips, Noelle fell into step next to Rachel. “Ace said Dallas and Jasper were on their way. Should I wait?”

She shook her head. “They got hung up with work. They’ll be along later.”

The gang came first. That was the rule she’d tacitly accepted when she let Ace etch the O’Kane symbols into her skin, which meant facing the gathering group of too many smiling men with a stiff back and a raised chin. She would pretend she was Lex, unperturbed by their lecherous stares and the frank appreciation in their hungry gazes.

Hell, maybe she’d kiss one of them. Or more than one. She was a free woman now. She was an O’Kane. Her body belonged to her, and if Jasper wanted claim over it, he’d have to put his mark around her throat.

* * *

Jasper leaned against the wall and stared at the woman in the chair. She stared back, impassive, heedless of the heavy chains that bound her. “Is that necessary?” he asked. “We’re smack in the center of Sector Four now. Where would she go?”

Bren mirrored Jasper’s stance with a grin. “She wouldn’t run. She would, however, bite your face off, given half a chance. Wouldn’t you, sweetheart?”

“Why would I bite his face off when yours is right there?” Six bared her teeth and, judging by the focused fury in her eyes, her rage was for Bren alone.

Bren shrugged. “I don’t know—variety?”

“Fuck variety.” Her gaze slid to Jasper. “Are you here to hold me down while he fucks me? Or is that your job?”

Under the taunt lay a very real fear. Dismissing it would be cruel, but so would taunting her in return. Jasper settled for shaking his head.

His restraint didn’t soothe her. Her hands fisted, and she jerked against the chains for the first time, like his unwillingness to abuse her frightened her more than the threat of violence could. “This is some sick shit. Why the hell are you—?”

“Enough,” Dallas said from behind Jasper. “Lex?”

Lex’s heels clicked on the floor as she walked to the center of the room. “Why bother? She’s not going to believe me. Where she’s from, there are plenty of women who’ll sell each other out for a little security.”

Dallas sighed. “Could you pretend for a fucking second that I’m the boss and try?”

“Words are just words. You can tell someone you’re a saint while you’re stabbing a kitten. Does saying it make it true?”

Six sneered at them, her lips twisted in disgust. “What, you haul some poor bitch in here to yell at you and I’m supposed to believe I’m in a fucking paradise because you don’t beat her face in? Did you write all the lines for her, or does she come up with them on her own?”

“See?” Lex knelt and stared up at the new arrival. “They screwed her up so bad she doesn’t know what to think.”

“I’m not screwed up,” Six snarled, but even Jasper could hear the desperation under the words. Her rough facade was cracking, and with it, her composure. “I’m one of the strong ones. I survived, and I don’t need your pity.”

“Oh, I don’t pity you. I kinda think they shouldn’t have brought you back here. You’re trouble.”

That brought the woman’s teeth together with an audible clack. She studied Lex, as if trying to figure out how