garden and across the Japanese islands. A good, if temporary, distraction for the thing really bothering her.
On the train ride home, Lilith decided to tell Elena about finding her sister.
“You know that ad for Club Paradise? The reason the woman in the ad looked like me… that was my sister. I finally found her.”
Elena gaped at her. “You’re sure it was Hannah?”
“I went to the club myself, Elena. Unfortunately, Hannah wasn’t exactly glad to see me. She thinks I don’t love her. She’s changed so much. Hardened. I can only imagine what she suffered through all these years. I might have recognized her, but she isn’t the same person I remember. Her innocence is long gone.”
“Hey, Lilith, we were all innocent once.”
Lilith’s heart grew heavy as she thought about it. “Now the question is, how do I rebuild my relationship with her?”
“That’s a tough one. Take it slow, I guess. Let her know you’re open to her being in your life and see her reaction.”
“So far, her reaction isn’t good. She blames me, Elena, because I abandoned her.”
“You didn’t abandon her. You went to school so you could get a decent job.”
“Try convincing her of that.”
If only she could understand Hannah’s satisfaction with her life, Lilith thought. Why would any woman want to take a job where she was just a thing to a man? Maybe because she’d never learned to respect herself. How could she, living with a stepfather whose sole purpose in life had been terrorizing women.
She let the subject drop. The rest of the ride played out in an uneasy silence.
When the conductor announced Elena’s stop, her friend said, “That’s me. Stay strong, honey. It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”
“From your lips.”
Lilith hugged Elena good-bye and prepared herself. Her stop came next.
Walking several blocks from the train station to her building, she decided she’d be best off giving Hannah breathing room, at least for a while, before trying to fix things between them. No matter what she thought of Hannah’s job, she wanted her sister close. Now if only that job weren’t so dangerous. To her dismay, she couldn’t save Hannah from herself.
As if thinking about Hannah had conjured her, Lilith spotted a Jaguar parked in front of her building. Her heart raced. She hadn’t thought she would see her sister so soon.
Hannah got out of the car and used a beeper to set its alarm. Dressed in hot pink capris and an embroidered top, her hair intricately French-braided, her feet encased in fancy heeled sandals, Hannah could be the girl next door.
Lilith wanted to rush over and envelop her little sister in a hug, but that hadn’t gone over too well last time, so she held back and, her insides a-tumble, walked the few yards to the car.
“This is some surprise.”
Her expression neutral, Hannah leaned back against the Jaguar and lit a cigarette. “Guess you didn’t expect to see me.”
“I’m really happy to see you, Hannah. I just don’t remember giving you my address.”
“You gave me your telephone number.” Hannah took a long drag, released the smoke over Lilith’s head, then said, “Reverse directory.”
“How resourceful.”
“You learn resourceful on the streets.”
Hannah asked, “So, who’s the kid? This Carmen. What’s her story? What are you doing with her? ”
Lilith noticed Hannah was playing with the cigarette, as if she were nervous.
“I’ve been trying to help Carmen stay in school, to help her see that there’s a world of possibilities out there, if only she wants something different from what she’s used to.”
Just as Hannah could, if only she would open her eyes.
“Doesn’t she have her own family?”
“She has a big family. Carmen is the oldest of nine kids.”
“Well, at least she’s got company. And on the plus side, she’s first to get new clothes, right?” Hannah joked. “No hand-me-downs.”
“They barely have the money for thrift shop purchases. Thank God for food stamps, or those kids wouldn’t eat.”
Lilith couldn’t miss Hannah’s stricken expression. She wondered how many times her sister had gone hungry. Or what she’d had to do for food. And unless she was crazy, Hannah was jealous of Carmen. Or of her relationship with the girl.
Quickly covering whatever she was feeling, Hannah dashed the cigarette to the sidewalk and ground it out under her heel. “So what’s her deal?”
“Carmen is smart and has decided she wants to finish high school and go to college. But her father just told her that since she’s seventeen, legally she can quit high school and go to work and buy shoes for her sisters and brothers instead.”
“He made all those babies, not her, the pig! So is she going to do it? Quit?”
“I hope not.”
Not that Lilith knew if she did have influence beyond Carmen herself. But she would try to talk to Carmen’s parents and ask them to think about their daughter’s future. About the futures of all the children.
“So you’re really into this Carmen, huh? Sounds like a lost cause to me. People do what’s easiest.”
The words shot through Lilith like an arrow. Did Hannah believe that of her? Surely not.
Lilith wanted to ask Hannah if stripping had really been that easy. The thought of getting on stage and taking off her clothes for a roomful of men tied her own stomach in a knot. Who knew what Hannah’s options had been at the time she took the job?
Now she had other options, Lilith reminded herself, wondering how to broach the subject. Hannah had money. She could set herself up otherwise. Perhaps she would have to live a more modest lifestyle, but at least she didn’t have to continue to play victim to men she didn’t even know.
“The kid’s got to learn to toughen up,” Hannah said. “Crying won’t get her nowhere.”
Lilith didn’t dare ask. But her pulse rushed faster as she realized the import of that discovery, that Hannah was jealous enough to spy on her.
Which gave her a ray of hope.
She gazed at the heart-half Hannah still wore, and her fingers crept up to touch its match. They were sisters. A bond that couldn’t be broken.
Lilith smiled at the thought and said, “Why don’t you come in.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
ACTUALLY, HANNAH didn’t know why she’d come. Curiosity, she supposed. She wanted to see this wonderful life Lilith had made for herself firsthand.
The neighborhood wasn’t bad. Looked safe enough. No gang bangers on the street or graffiti on the walls. But Lilith had approached the building on foot. And now they were walking up enough stairs that she’d be winded if dancing hadn’t put her in such good shape.
“So where do you park around here? Garage in back?”
“I don’t have a car.”
“No car?” Chalk one up for herself, Hannah thought.
“Can’t afford one or the insurance.”
“You got a college degree.”
“The scholarships only paid for so much. I worked, too, but I had to take loans, which I’m still repaying. Besides which…” Lilith hesitated, her expression intent, as if she were going to divulge more about her finances.
