Out of Time

He got no further. Brin spun in his arms, crushing her lips to his, shaking a bit as she kissed him. When she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes and her lip quivered.

“Wow! What was that all about?”

“I didn’t want you to tell me that you’re leaving again. Not so soon. Please, not so soon.

You just got home.”

He drew the back of one hand over her soft cheek, found a tear there and wiped it away. “I wouldn’t go if it weren’t important, Brin. It’s my job. I have to go.”

“I know.” Her voice quavered. It broke his heart.

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“No. Please.”

She hesitated, then dropped her eyes in resignation. “Where to?”

“The Middle East,” he said, hating to tell her yet another lie, but knowing that he could never tell her the truth. “I can’t be any more specific. This is huge. Really huge. I couldn’t say no.” She nodded and he continued. “After this one, no more for a long time. I swear. I’ll take an extended downtime.

Maybe we’ll even take a vacation.”

“Promise?”

He nodded. “I promise.”

She slid along his body, pushing with her toes and letting her lips reach for his. One hand found his glass, pulled it free and set it on the table. She kissed him again, then whispered, her breath washing hot over his cheek, “Make love to me.

Please.”

He slid his fingers into her hair, pulled her down on top of him, and the world faded to soft flesh and whispered kisses.

For a while, it was almost enough to make him forget.

It was still dark when Alex woke. He lay very still, not wanting to disturb Brin, who was curled tightly against his side. Sunrise was still more than an hour away, and he dreaded its arrival. The new day would mean the beginning of the end, the start of his last mission before the disease took its in-evitable toll.

Even after reading through the pamphlets and scouring the Web, all Alex really knew was that his prognosis was grim. Primary progressive MS, when it moved quickly, often robbed a person of mobility, eyesight…even sex could become too painful or impossible due to mobility impairments.

He didn’t want to go out that way—useless, hopeless, miserable.

Too many things he cared for would begin to unravel when the night ran down, and he could hear it ticking away like a giant clock—or a bomb.

He would do this last mission and go out a hero.

Brin stirred, rolling toward him, and he slid his arm around her, pulling her close. She turned a sleepy-eyed smile up to him, and he brushed her eyelids with his lips. He was shocked at the sudden heat the contact brought. She sensed it and pressed closer, running her lips up his chest. He shivered as her hair tickled his throat.

Alex rolled onto his side, slid his arm across Brin’s body and rose to stare down at her. His arm trembled and his heart raced.

“No,” he whispered.

“What?” Brin raised her head, but he dropped over her fiercely, covering her lips and sliding his hips up to mesh with hers. She gasped, but as his palm pressed her thigh, she parted her legs and he drove forward, pinning her to the mattress, pressing so tightly the friction burned. She cried out, but not in pain. Her legs curled around him, drawing him deeper still, and he dropped into the sensation. He ground his hips, and she met each motion. He slid over her, felt her breasts press into him, nipples hard and rough. Sweat lubricated their motion and they fell into a rough rhythm.

The room blurred and Alex closed his eyes. He wrapped his arms around Brin’s taut, muscled body and moved with her, chasing the sounds of her pleasure with his motion. He closed his eyes and clutched the sheets, digging his fingers into the mattress and fighting for control. She sensed his urgency and bucked up into him with a soft cry. It was more than he could stand.

Tears flowed down his cheeks and blended with the sweat of their coupling as they climaxed. His body tightened, shuddered and grew still, but he didn’t move off of her. He lay there, limp, drained and gasping for breath as she kissed his cheeks, ran her fingers through his hair and brushed his shoulders with long, sharp nails. Slowly his mind, heart and lungs dropped back through levels of sensation. He felt her heartbeat against his chest. He lowered his head and managed to brush his eyes on the sheet in his hand in a pretense of wiping away sweat. He didn’t want her to see his tears.

Brin stroked his hair in silence for a few moments.

“What was that?” she asked.

“You didn’t enjoy it?” He stiffened at the thought it might have all been for himself, that he might have stolen their final moments of intimacy in selfish lust.

“I didn’t say that. It was wonderful. It is wonderful. But it was so intense. It was like you were trying to pull me into you, or through you. I—”

Before she could go on, a soft thump sounded beyond the door. They both glanced up sharply.

The sound repeated and Alex couldn’t stifle a chuckle. He rolled slowly off Brin, wrapping her in his arms. She reached down quickly and drew the sheet and comforter farther up the bed.

“Savannah?” Alex called. “Are you out there?”

They lay in silence for a moment longer. The bump repeated and a soft voice called out.

“No.”

They both laughed, and moments later, childish giggles sounded in the hall.

“Go lay down, baby,” Brin called out. “We’ll be out in a minute.”

“I want to come in,” Savannah called petulantly.

“I want to wake you up.”

Brin started to speak again, but Alex stopped her. His hand shook as he gripped her arm, and he released her as if he’d been bitten. He let his voice break a little to help explain away the tremor.

“Let’s get dressed and let her in,” he said softly.

“I miss both my girls, you know? I don’t want to miss a moment with either of you.”

She watched him. He saw her glance at his hand, and he willed it to be steady, just this one time. It remained rock solid, and she stroked his cheek, then laughed.

“Okay, hotshot. I’ll get dressed first, then you.

I have to get out and make breakfast. I have a big day. I have a meeting with Rand this morning, something new—and big. He wants me to go over some new research.”

“Big brains and nice breasts.” Alex laughed. He lunged for her, but she was too quick, slipping off the edge of the bed. He watched her, and a lump filled his throat. He didn’t try to speak, and moments later she had her nightgown on and stood, waiting on him.

“Rise and shine, hero,” she said, smiling brightly. “I get the shower, you get the child. I’ll trade you in twenty minutes.”

He grinned at her, rolled out of the bed and fumbled in the dresser until he found a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt. He turned just in time to see Brin disappear into the hall, and Savannah’s bright, inquisitive face peering back in through the door. Growling like a bear, he charged.

His daughter squealed, spun and scampered off down the hallway. Alex pursued, but not too quickly. Some races are better if you come in last, and he knew where she was headed. A soft couch pillow to hide behind and screams for cartoons would come next. He smiled and dived after her, sliding onto the couch, spinning and curling her in close. Before she could even ask, he’d clicked the remote and brought the big-screen TV to life. Alex buried his nose in his daughter’s soft hair and closed his eyes as she giggled, squirmed and laughed at the prancing animated nonsense on the screen.

He squeezed her tight, enjoying the content-ment he felt at that moment. If only it could always be that way.

THE REST OF THE MORNING passed far too quickly.