Thirty or so people stood in a rough semicircle around the Prescott living room, blinking in the sudden light and the less sudden knowledge of what they were looking at. A few launched into “Happy Birthday,” but the song petered out before the second line. My first impulse, which I followed, was to dump Katrina on the floor. She may have been the last person present to realize we had a major social blunder on our hands.
The party-goers stared at my hard-on aimed at the ceiling: Cameron was already in an I-told-you-so mode; Billy Gaines had yet to understand the anatomy of the situation; for some bizarre reason, Mimi Saunders broke into hysterical laughter; Sonny showed humiliation; Ryan, rage. Skip Prescott, the bantam rooster himself, appeared deep in denial.
I searched the crowd quickly until I found Gilia, the only one staring at my face instead of my penis. Her eyes reflected immeasurable sadness, a disappointment so total as to annihilate hope. If the goal of my life had been to hurt Gilia, I could never have hurt her more. I wanted to scream, to beg, to sacrifice everything for the right to start over. I wanted to give birth to her. I wanted to marry her.
I said, “Gilia.”
At her name, she blinked, then the mask of withdrawal slipped over her face and she became the same uninvolved, untouchable girl I’d seen the day we met in her mother’s family room.
Skip screeched. “Kill the bastard!”
Sonny made a yelp sound, like a run-over dog, and came at me, followed by the bulk of Ryan.
I ran.
The smart move would have been to stand and take my medicine, on the theory Sonny and Ryan wouldn’t kill me in a house full of witnesses. Running off into the dark only upped the chances of manslaughter, but when Skip shouted “
I snagged my boxers off the lawn; there was no time to search for jeans or shoes. I stopped for a moment at Katrina’s car, with the thought of stealing it, but the keys were back in the lock, where Sonny and Ryan were falling over Katrina’s body as they came through the doorway. I couldn’t see well, but she seemed to be grabbing at their legs. I think Sonny kicked her.
Nothing to do but jump in my shorts and run. What I had done to Gilia had to change me—what I did next and how I looked at details. I could not allow less. In the meantime, however, survival mattered. I ran toward the Saunders’ front yard, thinking maybe to circle the house and get on the golf course, where at least running barefoot would be bearable. I’m not one of those guys with tough feet. I put on slippers to use the bathroom at night.
Near the property line, a volleyball net sprang from the dark and I nearly decapitated myself. You know how in an intense physical crisis, time accordions so you can think twenty separate thoughts in the blink of an eye? Falling under the net brought on the eeriest deja vu deal, which before I even hit the ground I identified as the day in the seventh grade when, chasing a foul ball, I hung myself on a volleyball net and lay on the ground, looking up at Maurey Pierce backlit by the sun. These were her first words to me: “Smooth move, Ex-Lax.”
The perfect comment for my current situation.
This time, no teenage girl waited to insult me, then become my lover and friend. This time, I pulled the collapsed net off, bounced up, and was running again, without missing much more than a stride. The volleyball net reminded me of something else I’d seen last weekend during my visit to the Saunders’ home—Bobby’s Sting-ray bicycle leaning against the porch.
Short frame, fat tires, three speeds, not exactly built for the fast lane, but my entire life—at least since Wanda left—I’d been training for an escape by bicycle. Ryan hurdled the fallen net and ran across the yard. For a giant, he had tremendous quickness, but he’d never catch me when I got up to speed. Linemen can move like bulls on lightning five or ten yards, but a quarter mile kills them.
Right off, I learned a big difference between stationary bike riding and real bike riding—curbs. Street burn. I yanked up the bike, remounted on the run, and took off down a cart path that passed through a fence and onto Starmount Golf Course. If I had to, I could hide in a sand trap or water hazard. Me and the snakes.
Behind me, the fall of footsteps slowed and stopped. I figured Ryan and Sonny had doubled back to the house for instructions. Skip would be out of denial by now and well into vengeance. What could he do? Have me killed? Castrated? I hadn’t broken any laws, that I knew of, so he could hardly swear out a warrant. Something would happen though. Skip Prescott came from the strain of men you couldn’t steal from without consequences. And
Even as I pedaled my heart out, Skip wasn’t my major concern. No punishment he extracted would be as awful as what I would give myself for hurting Gilia. Shit. She was the first non-screwed-up woman to like me in a long, long time, and I’d sabotaged us. Lydia and Maurey would say I destroyed her affection on purpose. “You couldn’t handle the responsibility of accepting love so you crapped the gig.” Maybe they were right.
I followed the cart path across the fairway onto the driving range. Golf balls glowed on the wet grass, like a peculiar sort of molecule model. Kids’ bikes are geared so high you have to pump about 120 revolutions a minute to get anywhere, which on a short frame means your knees rush toward your face like pistons. It’s remarkably tiring. Barefoot and in boxer shorts, it would be a long ride home in the rain.
I crossed behind the dry pool, pro shop, and restaurant and had just entered the main parking lot when a car came flying down the street and whipping into the driveway. Ryan’s beefy arm pointed at me from the passenger side. For an instant I was frozen, a deer in headlights, then I jerked the bike into a U-turn-on-a-dime and pedaled like a maniac.
The car came forward much quicker than I moved away. I rode close to the restaurant wall, Sonny jumped the curb and kept straight at me, apparently planning to smash me and Bobby’s bike against the building. I zipped around the kitchen onto a short driveway leading down, away from the club. At the end of the driveway, two Dempsey Dumpsters sat side by side with maybe a two-foot clearance between them.
A two-foot clearance is what a bicycle has that a car hasn’t. Going full pedal, I shot between the Dumpsters and out the other side. From the rear, I heard Sonny’s tires squeal around the corner followed by the spine-tearing sound of stomped brakes and an iron thunderclap when they slammed into the Dumpsters.
From a block away, the jack-o’-lanterns flickered orange like Japanese paper lanterns outlining the shadow of a fairy castle—the Beast’s castle after Beauty taught him how to love and turned him back handsome. It was difficult to convince myself they were real.
I’d been pedaling for several miles, depressed to the core. What had started out fairly simple—meet my fathers—had spun out of control. A week and a half ago I occupied the moral high ground. The men raped my mother and rapists should be held accountable; but instead of holding evil jerks accountable for their sins, I’d run rampant on the innocent families. The wrong people got screwed. Skip would probably divorce Katrina. Gilia had lost her trust, Clark was disillusioned, and the memory that gave Atalanta Williams the courage to go on had been destroyed. And all for what? So I could call a man “Dad”? Genes come from sperm and knowing where the sperm came from doesn’t change who you are. Searching for the source is selfish.
Because I was so absorbed with myself, at first I didn’t realize the apparition down the block was the place I lived. I had the sense of an out-of-proportion birthday cake. Eugene and Shannon had lined every rain gutter and balcony. The ledge around the second floor glittered with orange candles. One of every six or seven lanterns had blown out or burned out, but that still left three hundred glowing pumpkins. It was the most beautiful man- and woman-made thing I’d ever seen.
A knot of people stood in the street, admiring the Manor House. As I rode closer, details became clear on individual pumpkin faces. They’d done the roof in Gilia’s heads with the triangle eyes and diamond noses. Down
