Geoff shook his head. ‘You know, I never believed in that romantic stuff about everyone having just one person specially for them—’
‘I don’t either—’
‘But I haven’t met anyone else since.’ He frowned, his face suddenly severe. ‘I suppose it’s made me bitter. I think that’s why I was ready to join the Resistance.’
David said, ‘I was angry after Charlie died. That was part of it for me.’ He looked at Geoff. ‘Did you see it, back then? How angry I was?’
‘I saw you getting slowly angrier after the 1950 election. Talking more about politics. I didn’t connect it to Charlie. Do you regret it?’ he asked. ‘What we’ve done?’
‘I regret deceiving Sarah. And now where is she? God knows what will happen to her.’
Geoff leaned forward and touched his friend’s arm. ‘They’ll find her. They’re good at that.’
‘And Carol, you know what I did to her. Strung her along. Yet she saved me in the end.’
‘There’s loyalty for you.’
David looked at his friend. ‘Maybe she feels for me what you felt with Elaine. It can be a bit frightening sometimes, I tell you.’
‘Yes,’ Geoff said slowly. ‘I suppose it can. So, what about Natalia?’
David shifted uncomfortably. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve just wondered – if there’s something there? Between you two?’
David said sharply. ‘This is hardly the time for something, is it?’
‘No. No, it isn’t.’
On their second day, Sunday, the shop was closed. It was raining, hard, steady rain. David watched as an elderly couple in their best clothes walked up the street, huddled under their umbrellas. They looked as though they were going to church. David thought, it’s just a week since the Jews were taken.
The grocer, Mr Tate, came in with some lunch. There was still no news about Sarah. Mr Tate seemed a little more relaxed now the shop was closed. He said, ‘The Chinese have launched a new offensive against the Japs. Place called Zhijang. The news says the Japanese are rallying for a counter-offensive but it’s like the Germans in Russia, in a lot of areas they only hold the towns and the roads between them. It’s getting like that in parts of India, too, from what I hear. Like the strands and knots in a net. Break enough strands and the whole thing falls apart. The German army knows that, that’s why they’ll make peace with Russia if Hitler dies.’
‘Any more word from America, about what Adlai Stevenson will do when he takes over as President?’ Geoff asked.
Mr Tate shook his head. ‘No. Not on the BBC, anyway. They’ve been very quiet about the Jews, as well. I think they’re hoping we’ll all forget about them.’
David thought, in time, if the government encourages us, perhaps everyone will.
Natalia arrived shortly after three that afternoon. She had brought a change of clothes for Geoff and David: cheap suits, trilby hats and dark overcoats. David was still wearing his dark jacket and pinstripe trousers from the office, a little creased and crumpled now.
She was in a brisk, businesslike mood, telling them they needed a shave, they must look respectable. Geoff went to the bathroom first. Left alone with David, Natalia said, ‘I’m sorry, there’s still no news of your wife. But one of our radios is down, it’s very possible she is safe, that whoever has her can’t get through.’ She gave him a quick, uncertain smile. ‘Quite likely, in fact.’
‘So much for modern technology.’
‘We will get her to safety. We’ll get you all to America.’
David said, ‘I don’t think she’ll want to be with me. Why should she, now? She always thought I was safe, stable, honest. She didn’t know about all these layers of deceit.’
Natalia looked him straight in the eye. ‘From what you have told me of her, she will understand what you have done.’ She smiled, sadly. ‘I know it’s been hard for you to do the things you have. It’s easier for me. In an odd way, I’m free. Where I come from people never had the sort of secure identity you British middle classes have. My part of the world was always mixed, people shifting their roots. Perhaps that makes things easier for those of us who have got out. We’re not so tied down.’
‘Easier? Despite everyone you’ve lost?’
‘Yes. Even so. Easier than for you with your ties,’ she said, with sudden tenderness. ‘When we get you away you will have the chance to rebuild those again.’ She hesitated, then asked, ‘Do you want that chance?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You should try.’
He looked at her. ‘And you?’
‘I go where the struggle takes me. That is my life now.’ She looked at him tenderly again. ‘You must understand that. And now, get ready. We have an important job to do.’
GEOFF OFFERED TO DRIVE THIS TIME. Natalia sat in the front with him, David in the back again. As Geoff put the car into gear David looked at his watch. Past six already. They must arrive at the asylum by eleven; Ben would come out at a quarter past. The porter’s lodge should be lit; Ben would have dealt with the porter. Jackson had told them that once they collected Ben and Frank they were to drive at once to a safe house in the countryside, fifteen miles from the hospital, in case the alarm was raised quickly. Once they arrived there, they would be sent further instructions about getting back to London; they would stay in London at least one night before driving on to the south coast. If Ben and Frank did not appear by midnight they were to drive to the safe house anyway.
They said little in the car. Geoff put the radio on and they listened to the Light Programme, cheerful music and, every hour, the news. The announcer said in his clipped, even voice that the threatened rail strike had been called off. Ben Greene, the Minister of Labour as well as Coalition Labour Leader, had reached agreement with the railwaymen’s unions.
‘Didn’t think that would happen,’ Geoff said.
Natalia agreed. ‘They were talking yesterday about using troops to run the railways, arresting men who didn’t turn up for work. Public sector strikes are illegal.’
David said, ‘Maybe they think they’ve got enough on their plate just now, without taking on the railwaymen as well.’
They drove on through the dark, along almost empty roads. Near Stratford they saw that one of the exits from the motorway was blocked off; armed Auxiliary Police standing beside a hastily erected wooden guard-post. David wondered if one of the new camps for the Jews was down there. He put his hand in his pocket where the tiny rubber pellet was. He knew he shouldn’t fiddle with it, but his hand was drawn to it like a tongue to a bad tooth. He thought of the gun Natalia was carrying, somewhere under the big trenchcoat she wore. He was very conscious of her presence, as well as his terrible anxiety about what might be happening to Sarah. But he knew he didn’t feel her loss, her absence, in his heart as a lover should.
The journey went without a hitch. There was no sign they were being followed and the narrow wooded lanes leading to the hospital were deserted, lights from farmhouses the only sign of life, everyone indoors on the cold, frosty evening. The rain had stopped outside London and it had got steadily colder as they drove north. They came in sight of the hospital, its big dark shape outlined against the top of the hill, only a few pinpoints of light visible within. It was well past ten o’clock now; the patients would be in bed, in their sad drugged sleep, with only a few night staff on duty.
They waited in a lay-by until almost eleven, then drove slowly along the asylum fence, towards the porter’s lodge. There was a dim light within, but no sign of any occupant. On Natalia’s instructions they drove past, drawing up a little way beyond and turning off the headlights. Natalia, briskly professional, said, ‘I’ll have a look. Geoff, if there is any trouble, drive away.’
She got out and walked steadily down the road. She had a hand in her pocket, holding onto the gun no doubt. David shifted to the middle of the back seat so he could see more clearly through the windscreen. He thought,
She approached the lit window of the lodge. She stood on tiptoe to get a good look inside, then turned and walked quickly back to the car, looking relieved as she got back in. ‘The porter’s tied up under his desk,’ she said.
