Shards and Ashes

Her expression lights up. “We can change things. Now. Take me to the Phydus pump. We’ll disable it right now.”

I shake my head. “We have to go slowly. We can topple Eldest’s control from within.”

“That won’t be enough,” she says, her words so fast that they blend together. “All we need to do is cut the Phydus machine off.”

I shake my head. “I can’t let you do that.”

“You don’t have a choice! Now that I know—I’ll find that frexing pump myself and blow it up if I have to!”

“Mag . . . Mag.” I wait until her eyes are focused on me. “Doing something like that—just cutting off the whole ship’s population at one time—that will lead to a huge revolt.”

She nods, excited.

“No, you don’t understand,” I say. My voice is pleading. “Mutiny on this ship would lead to . . . imagine how people will react. When they discover Eldest’s lies, they’ll want to kill him.”

“So?”

“And it’s more than that. There are some lies that . . . Eldest has a reason for keeping some things secret.”

Mag narrows her gaze. “You agree with him. He tried to kill you, Orion! You had to rip your wi-com out of your own flesh and have hidden for months from him! And you agree with him?”

“It’s not that simple,” I say. “I don’t think it’s right that he’s controlling everyone, of course I don’t. And I don’t like the lies. But Mag—we’re on a ship. In space. It would be so easy—so easy—for this to become too much, too quickly. The Feeder Level is a delicate biodome. The ship is not indestructible. We could kill ourselves out.”

She waves her hand dismissively, but I won’t let the matter drop. I grab a digital membrane screen I’d pocketed earlier and swipe my thumb over the access scanner. For a moment, I’m afraid Eldest has erased my access, but apparently he thought me dead enough to not bother with that. I bring up an old video feed, the same one Eldest showed me when he told me about the dangers of revolution.

I hand the screen to Mag when the vid starts playing. I know the video well: the way the farmers turned their tools into weapons, the way the blood stained the ground red, the way, in the end, nearly everyone was gone, a revolt so deadly we’ve still not recovered our numbers. While she watches the violent images flash across the screen, I watch her. I watch as the gleam in her eye sparkles, as the corner of her mouth slowly curls up.

In the Recorder Hall, we silently part ways—her to the civics book room, me to the gallery with the window that shows the Feeder Level. Mag still hasn’t forgiven me for not letting her switch off the Phydus, and I haven’t forgiven her for not realizing that a revolution doesn’t have to involve blood.

I stare out at the Feeder Level from my position. The glass is warm, and my face leaves a blurry print. I shut my eyes, letting my full weight rest on the window, then turn and slide down the glass, sitting with my back to the only world I’ve known.

I touch the scar on my neck.

I cannot forget what Eldest has done. I cannot forget the truths he’s covered up with Phydus.

But . . .

I cannot think that everything he’s done is wrong. I cannot believe that every truth should be known.

Why did he try to kill me? Because I questioned him. Why are questions wrong? Because questions lead to revolt. Why is revolt wrong? Because revolution would kill us all.

This is what I know is true.

There’s only one question left.

If all this is true, why did I push Eldest so hard he tried to kill me?

Because maybe a revolution would be worth it.

I wake up with my face pressed to the window, a slick line of drool dripping down the glass. My neck cracks as I stretch. I glance through the window—there is still mist on the fields; the solar lamp must have just clicked on.

And then I see him: a man, walking up the stairs to the front of the Recorder Hall.

I scramble away from the window, heart pounding. Was I seen?

I should hide. I know I should hide. But instead, I creep down the stairs. Before I reach the hallway, I hear shouting.

“What is going on?”

I know that voice: Doc. Eldest’s only real friend, who let me escape death anyway.

“Hello, Doc.” Mag’s voice is calm, soft.

“He knows, you idiot girl, he knows. He’s not stupid!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Doc growls in anger. His voice grows louder and quieter, as if he’s pacing back and forth. “Information. He keeps track of the network; he knows some very questionable documents and vids have been downloaded recently.”

Oh, shite. The mutiny vids I showed Mag yesterday.

But . . . what documents?

“And do you really think that he wouldn’t notice someone flipped the Phydus machine off?”

My eyes bulge. She wouldn’t. Would she? Would she? Did she sneak out while I slept and find the Phydus machine? It wouldn’t be that hard, not after I showed her my hiding place. Did she just stroll into the pump room and turn the frexing thing off?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mag says again, but her tone is a confession enough for me. She did. She did. She didn’t care about my protests, she didn’t care about what I showed her yesterday.

“It’s a frexing good thing that I caught it first and flipped the thing back on, you stupid girl. If he had seen it—”

“I don’t care!” Mag screeches. “Let him find out! Let him try to stop us!”

Us.

“Do you have him?” Doc says, panic creeping into his voice. “Are you hiding him? Is he telling you how to cause trouble?”

Doc’s footsteps grow closer. He has every right to be scared. If Eldest knew of Doc’s betrayal, of the way he let me live, Doc would face the same punishment as I did, and Eldest would watch him die.

“Who?” Mag sounds innocently curious.

Doc starts to say my name, the name I was called before Orion, but he stops himself. He doesn’t want to tip his hand to Mag if she really doesn’t know.

“He’s distracted now by the new baby,” Doc says, his voice calmer. “But he won’t be for long. And he knows what you’ve done so far. It would take weeks, maybe even months, for Phydus to completely wear off the population. Stupid girl. Of course Eldest would know first. You’re playing a dangerous game.”

“I’m not playing.”

And there it is. The threat behind her words.

The room is silent. I want to creep forward and see them, but I don’t dare move.

“You’ve doubled your food rations. I’m missing bottles of Inhibitor meds. And somehow you, a stupid little girl from the Feeder Level, suddenly know about the hidden level of the ship, about Phydus and the water pump. If I can figure it out, you better believe Eldest will. If he hasn’t already. And if he finds who I think you’re hiding, we’ll all be dead.”

Mag doesn’t answer.

“Do you know what happens when a living body is thrown into the vacuum of space?”

Mag still doesn’t answer.

“It will take several seconds for your body to lose oxygen.” Doc’s voice is cold and calculating. He’s trying to scare her. “Your eardrums will explode. Your spit will boil in your mouth. And finally, after all that, your brain will