Hard Knocks

“So McKenna’s claiming he saw another of the Audis near the scene, and Rebanks is hinting that Gilby’s responsible?” Sean said and there was no mistaking the incredulous note in his tone. “And you believe either of them?”

“I don’t disbelieve them,” I said. “It’s a moot point as far as McKenna’s concerned anyway. He’s packed up and left.”

“Hmm, either lost his nerve or accomplished his mission,” Sean murmured. “Take your pick.”

“I keep coming back to the fact that Blakemore admitted they had some involvement with the kidnapping and that Kirk was in on it, too.”

“We’ve been through this before, Charlie,” Sean said, rather tiredly, “he couldn’t have been.”

“Yes, he could,” I said. “He just couldn’t have been shot by Heidi’s bodyguards, that’s all.”

“He was with us all the way,” Blakemore had said of Kirk. “Salter wasn’t the one who threw a spanner in the works.”

What kind of a spanner? “Supposing Gilby’s not the one who planned the kidnapping?” I demanded then. “Supposing it was his staff who did it, and when Gilby found out he went ape-shit, and that’s when Kirk was killed?”

For a while there was silence at the other end of the line. I could almost hear the gears whirring. “It’s close,” he conceded, and just when I’d begun to feel pleased with myself he added, “But how do you explain the money Gilby’s been banking over the last six months?”

I swore under my breath.

“Quite,” Sean said. “Sorry, Charlie, but Blakemore must have been spinning you a line.”

“I didn’t get that feeling from him,” I insisted, stubborn.

“And you can tell when somebody’s lying to you?” Sean said, and there was just a hint of taunting there. “Just like that?”

“Sometimes, yes,” I threw back at him, stung. “You remember you once told me you’d never hit on one of your trainees before? Well, I believed you. I didn’t ask for evidence, I just knew.”

Oh God, where did that come from? It was the last thing that had been in my mind, but as I said it I realised it had never really been away.

A full five seconds went past before Sean spoke again.

“Well, I have to hand it to you, Charlie,” he said dryly, “you certainly know how to stop a guy in his tracks.”

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I don’t know why I said that, I just—”

“Don’t,” he cut in, fierce enough to surprise me. “Don’t ever apologise for having faith in me. Christ knows I didn’t think you’d ever want anything to do with me again when I’ve meant nothing but pain for you. Why do you think I sent Madeleine to fetch you from your parents’ place?”

It was my turn to be speechless, to feel my mouth working but no words waiting behind it to emerge. My tongue was dry and empty.

I leaned back against a tree and listened to the quiet rustling of the forest around me. It was almost soothing.

So, where do we go from here? I had no idea. A picture had unfolded suddenly in front of me that was too big to see the end of it. I needed time to digest, for Sean’s words to sink in.

“But you were over in Germany,” I said, forgetting completely for a moment which countries we were both in.

“I didn’t have to be,” he admitted. “I’m hoping you won’t need to be for much longer. How’s Gilby taking Blakemore’s untimely demise?”

“Badly,” I said. “He’s feeling the pressure and he’s starting to suffer for it.”

“And you think that’s more likely to be guilty conscience because he’s bumping off his own men,” Sean said, back on track, “rather than the more natural anger and frustration because somebody else is doing it and he’s powerless to stop them?”

“But why is he powerless?” I shot back. “If he’s nothing to hide then why doesn’t he bring in the authorities and let them clear it up? Why is he letting people ambush his students with machine pistols and run one of his instructors off the road? Gilby’s up to his neck in this kidnapping somehow. I’m waiting for him to show now, to see if he might lead me to anything interesting on his nightly walkabout.”

Gilby hadn’t turned out for the last couple of nights. Either that or I’d missed him. It was difficult to maintain an effective watching brief single-handed. It was when you had to be up and running your guts out at five o’clock the next morning, at any rate.

“You just be damned careful, Charlie,” Sean warned.

“I will,” I promised.

“At least wait until I get out there tomorrow before you go confronting anybody else.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll take it easy.”

He paused, as if trying to find a nice way to call me a liar then changed the subject with a teasing note in his voice. “So how are you getting on with the course, or has that all gone to hell in a hand cart?”

“Sort of,” I said. “I’ve just handed in a very scrappy location survey that might just pull in a C-plus – if I’m lucky.”

“You’re not there to pass the course, Charlie,” he pointed out.

That took me aback slightly. Wasn’t I? I’d never liked failing, that was the trouble. Perhaps I hadn’t realised how much I’d hated that aspect of getting kicked out of the army. My relationship with Sean had been a failure, too.

“You remember that chalet we stayed in, that first weekend in Wales?” I asked suddenly. Christ, I really was going to have to learn to keep my mouth shut. It was running away with me tonight.

“Yes,” he said, with a quiet intensity. “I remember.”

I wished, more than ever, that I could see his face as he spoke, could gauge him. Mind you, if we’d been face to face then probably this conversation would never have happened.

“It was quite a place,” I ventured at last, mentally cursing my own cowardice.

“Yes, it was,” he agreed. “All that wildness, that untamed element.” He paused. “I thought it would suit you.”

I listened for, but couldn’t find, the ironic note in his voice. Instead I asked, “How did you know it was there?”

“Is that a tactful way of asking me how many other girls I’d taken there?” It was the way he said “taken” that made my bones melt.

“Not necessarily.”

“Well if it was, the answer’s none – before or since.”

I leaned my head back, stared up at darkened branches and past them, to the stars. My heart had started to thump painfully behind my breastbone, like I was preparing to run. I had to swallow before I could speak again.

“So how did you know it was there?”

“My mum knew about it,” he said. “I think my dear departed dad took her there in the happy days before he started to drink. She used to tell me about it and I remembered the name. What made you think about that?”

How could I not think about that weekend in Wales? We’d run purely on instinct and feeling. No thought. No doubt. No regret. I’d remember it until I died.

“Something Madeleine said, that’s all.”

“Oh yes,” he said. What was that in his voice – surely not embarrassment? “I seem to remember her prising that information out of me one night. There were times when it was good to have someone to talk to.” About you. He didn’t say the words out loud, but I knew they were there because I’d felt the same way.

It’s amazing what people will admit to over the phone. Encouraged, I said, “She showed me a photo of her boyfriend.”

“Dom?” Sean said and he sounded surprised. “Why would she do that?”

“I think,” I said carefully, “that she was trying to tell me that she wasn’t a threat.”

Sean said, “Ah,” as though a lot of things had fallen into place. There was a long pause, and when he next