I swallowed. “The rules on self defence don’t allow you to kill someone if you can disarm them another way,” I said sharply, even though I knew he was right. “We’re not in the jungle now.”
For a moment there was a silent gulf between us. Yes, I’d seen the violence and the cruelty running through Eamonn. But that didn’t mean I was prepared to dispense instant justice to deal with him.
Sean gave me a humourless smile and twisted the baton shut with the same kind of practised ease that Eamonn had shown. “A snake is still a snake, Charlie, regardless of where you find it.”
“Yeah? So what does that make you?”
I’d thrown it at him without thinking and regretted the words as soon as they were off and running.
Sean’s head came up and he turned towards me, moving very deliberately, making the hair prickle at the base of my neck. Suddenly I was reminded of a big dog you’ve always been wary of and who’s now decided he doesn’t want to obey your commands any longer. Instinctively, I flinched, took a step back.
A mistake.
I saw the flare in Sean’s eyes as he came for me. We were still in the hallway and I went back until the study wall brought me up short with a gasp. My heart was a leaden weight in my chest, the staccato beat echoing fiercely in my ears.
“Sean,” I said. “Don’t.” A breathless protest. Ignored.
He followed me back, crowded in on me. With my elbows against the wall behind me, I locked my wrists and wedged my fists into the tensed muscles of his stomach to keep him back. He leaned his weight against them, trapping me, and brought his head down until his mouth was within a whisper of mine. I could feel his breath fanning my cheek.
“You know what I am, Charlie,” he said in my ear, very quietly, mocking. “And we both know you’re out of the same mould, however much your damned parents have tried to have it psychoanalysed out of you.”
Anger pushed fear aside. I abruptly relaxed my wrists so I could squirm my right hand down the front of his jeans to grab a handful of his belt. Then I shoved the heel of my left hand up under his chin and pushed back, hard.
Sean’s spine arched as his head was forced back. I kept a tight hold of his belt to unbalance him, using the leverage to run him back a couple of strides, giving me room. Then I let go, breathing harder than I should have needed to.
Sean recovered his poise like a falling cat and smiled coldly at me.
“Face it, Charlie, you’ve got the reflexes and the moves and you’ve got the killer instinct,” he said. “Either you learn to master them or they’ll master you.”
“And you’re always so in control, are you?” I shot back. Another jibe I shouldn’t have voiced aloud.
“Half the secret of being in control is knowing when to let go,” he said. He fixed me with a bleak stare. “When we were in Germany you told me to accept you as you were or to get out of your life and leave you alone,” he went on, relentless, tearing me with my own bitter words. “That I should make a choice because you wouldn’t settle for half measures. Well maybe it’s time you made that same choice about me.”
I looked up, ripped inside, feeling my eyes begin to burn. I opened my mouth but he reached out and put a finger to my lips, shushing me.
“Don’t say anything now,” he said, gently, “but soon. Think about it and give me your answer soon. Because I need to know one way or another where I stand with you, Charlie.”
He took his finger away again and I could still feel the imprint of his skin on mine. The noises of the house intruded, grown suddenly louder. The ticking of the clock, the whining of one of the dogs behind the kitchen door. It was like they’d gone away and only just returned.
Sean stepped back, shrugged into a different day.
“So, who were they, that pair?” he asked, suddenly practical, level.
I shrugged too, trying to match him. “Isobel is Jacob’s ex-wife – or his estranged wife, at least,” I said. There was a wobble in my voice and I cleared my throat to get rid of it. “Erm, she wanted to make a deal over something. We didn’t quite get down to the details of what. I’m afraid I turned her down. Maybe,” I added ruefully, “I should have played her along a bit more.”
“Hmm, it didn’t take her long to find out the place was empty, did it?” he said. He gave me a tired smile, recognising the effort we were both making to strive for normality. “Did Jamie tip her off, d’you reckon?”
“She must have moved fast, if he did,” I said. “She lives in Northern Ireland. How long does the ferry take from Belfast? Four hours if you catch the fast cat to Heysham?” I shook my head. “She would have had to be on starting blocks.”
“So,” Sean said, “was she here already, or did they know in advance that Clare was going to be out of action?”
“I don’t know,” I said, frowning. “Eamonn made a weird comment, though. Before he had a go at me he wanted to know who sent me, then told me to tell my boss man it was a nice try, but if they thought that was going to stop him they could think again. Whatever that means.”
Sean’s expression had gone blank while he thought, the mental equivalent of an hourglass on a computer screen.
“So, what were they looking for here?” he asked. “And, more to the point, did they find it?”
“I don’t know where Eamonn was when I arrived, but Isobel was ransacking the study.”
“OK,” he said. “Let’s start there then, shall we?”
It took Sean less than five minutes to discover the safe I never knew existed. It was set into the study wall, hidden behind a loose section of the wooden panelling that lined the room from floor to ceiling, which was in turn behind a large limited edition print of the Isle of Man TT.
