Road Kill

He glanced round automatically for Daz as he spoke, but discovered the other man was standing a little apart from the others, tense, wired. Sean was close to Daz, watching him as though he was about to break.

We converged on the pair of them in time to hear Sean say, “Tell them, Daz. It’s time. Tell them or I will. You can’t go on like this.”

Daz threw him a panicked look but we were too close by then and it was too late to say more if he didn’t want the rest of us to hear it, too.

“Tell us what?” Jamie asked, worried. “What’s going on?”

“Daz has something he needs to tell all of you,” Sean said, stressing the need. Not want, I noted. It was clear that whatever secret Daz had confessed to Sean, the last thing he wanted to do was share it any further.

“What is it?” Paxo demanded. He came forwards, slinging his arm round Daz’s shoulders and giving him a friendly shake, grinning. “Come on, mate! We’re all in this together, aren’t we? You can tell us anything. How bad can it be?”

With a final desperate glance at Sean, Daz swallowed and shrugged helplessly.

“OK,” he said. “You see, guys, the thing is . . . I’m gay.”

Twenty-one

Is that it? So what?

The words formed in my head but I didn’t let them out. In fact, for a moment the only sound was the rush of the surf against the rocks and the raucous cries of the gulls circling overhead. It sounded like they were laughing at us.

Then Paxo snatched his arm away, flushing furiously. He took a step back and gave a splutter of laughter that died in his throat.

“Ah, mate, come on!” His eyes swivelled from face to face, looking for the first chink in the practical joke. “Don’t kid us about!”

“I’m not,” Daz said calmly, more confident. It was like, now it was done, the act of coming out had lost its terrors for him. “It’s true. I’m gay.”

William nodded slowly. “Well, good for you, Daz,” he said. “I know that must have taken some doing, telling us that. I admire you for it.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Paxo wailed. “Not you as well?”

“What’s the big deal?” Jamie said, nonplussed. “So, he’s gay. So what?”

“Plenty – if you’re completely homophobic,” Daz said, body tense.

“Why did you wait until now?” Paxo demanded. “I have to tell you, mate, your timing on this stinks.”

Tess, I realised then, had been standing silent in the background. But when I glanced at her I found she was wasn’t entirely still. She was trembling. As I turned towards her she took a couple of quick steps forwards and launched a long telegraphed right at Daz’s jaw, regardless of her swollen fingers. He ducked away easily enough and her punch hit his shoulder.

“You bastard!” she cried, flailing at him then. “You only wanted me along on this trip as cover!”

Jamie grabbed her arms and pulled her off and, after a moment’s struggle, she turned her face into his chest and burst into tears. He led her a little distance away and sat her down on a short basalt column, holding her hands and shooting reproachful glances in Daz’s direction.

“Is that right?” Paxo demanded, watching them. “You told us she wouldn’t be left behind, that you didn’t have a choice but to let her tag along. And all the time—” He threw up his hands and spun away.

William raised an admonishing eyebrow. “I realise it’s difficult, but you could have handled this better,” he said at last. “It’s not what you’ve done, Daz, it’s the way that you’ve done it.”

“Yeah well,” Daz muttered, flicking his eyes to Sean. “Maybe I didn’t have much of a choice about that.” And he too walked away, stumbling slightly over the rocks, in the opposite direction to Paxo.

“I guess from that that you forced his hand somewhat?” William said to Sean.

Sean shrugged. “He was doing his best to break his neck proving what a man he was,” he said. “And he was going to get round to bringing it out in the open at some point. I just hurried him along a little.”

“Best part of ten years I’ve known Daz,” William said sadly, shaking his head. “And I’d never have guessed.” He paused, gave Sean an assessing glance. “How did you know?”

“I’ve learned to be a good judge of people,” he said. “It goes with the territory. Besides, there were one or two things in Daz’s background that made it a possibility and then on the ferry there was something about him so I played along and he—” Sean shrugged, “—revealed himself, shall we say.”

Sean had always a sixth sense for, not weakness exactly, but people’s secrets. I’d never successfully been able to hide much from him, that was for sure. But even so . . .

“Revealed himself how?” I demanded and thought, unbelievably, that I saw a faint slash of colour across his cheekbones. “What? What did you do?”

Sean’s eyes flicked from me to William and back again, a slightly pained expression on his face.

“You made a pass at him, didn’t you?” I said, incredulous, and saw the pink darken round his neck. “You did!” I concluded. “So that’s what you found out when you were out on the back deck together,” I said. “I’m not surprised you wouldn’t tell me.”

“I just wanted to be sure,” he said, nodding, still looking a little sheepish. “I gave him my word that I