'Oh, I see. I didn't mean that. I meant be my friend as well, alongside anything else you can be, that you want to be.'
'And what do you want, Niall?' Her eyes were sharp and focused.
'Honestly? Right now I want a good night's sleep somewhere where no one is trying to kill me and the comfort of knowing I have a friend in the world. Beyond that, I am prepared to see what tomorrow brings.'
'A true answer and a fair one.' She turned and continued walking, leaving me once more to catch up.
'So is that a yes, or a no?' I asked her.
She looked back over her shoulder. 'It's not a no.'
I caught up with her and settled back into her gentle pace.
'It wasn't exactly a yes, either,' I pointed out.
'No, it wasn't, was it?'
And I had to settle for that. I figured that I had offended her earlier when she thought I was rejecting her attentions. Now she was more reserved.
'As your friend, Niall…'
'Yes.'
'Would you confide in me? Would you tell me your secrets?'
'As your friend, I might, assuming I had any secrets.'
'Hmm. So if you liked someone, would it be a secret?'
'Not a secret exactly, but it might be difficult to talk about.'
'Why would that be?'
'She might be very complicated. I might not know where I was with her, even if I did like her quite a lot actually.'
'She might be older than you?'
'She might, but that wouldn't necessarily be a problem.'
'Then why would she be complicated?'
I sighed, wrestling with the theoretical realities. 'Because she might have a lot of secrets of her own; because she might change in the wink of an eye and be someone different, someone I didn't know or someone else that I did, if I ever knew her at all. How would I know who she was?'
'How do any of us know? We only show the parts we want others to see. We might not be able to cloak it in magic or switch in a moment, but we can all be different people, if we choose.'
'That's true I suppose, but it's hard to trust someone when you don't know who they are.' And trust, as I had learned too late with Katherine, is where friendship and even love are founded.
There was a long pause while we walked along, side by side, in silence.
'You could get to know her,' she suggested.
'Yes,' I agreed, 'I might just try that.'
We walked along and after a few more yards, her hand slipped into mine and we walked along companionably. We could have been out for an evening walk if it weren't for the dark box in Blackbird's bag.
'Glamour has a kind of side effect,' she said, apropos nothing in particular.
'It does? What kind of side effect?' I had visions of all my hair falling out or my teeth going green.
'It becomes second nature.'
'How is that a side effect?'
'You use it all the time and it becomes the norm. It becomes part of you.'
'Why is that a problem?'
She stopped and I halted, waiting for her to carry on. Instead she looked pensive, worried even.
'What's the matter?'
'Niall, do you like the way I look?'
'Is it important? I mean you look lovely, but looks aren't everything.'
'Do you? Because I can change it if you don't.'
'What would you change it to?'
'Anything. Anything at all. Blonde, brunette, buxom, boyish, fat, thin, pink, green.'
'No, no. You don't need to change the way you look for me. You just need to look like yourself.'
'That's the thing.' She hesitated. 'I don't know what I look like. I've had glamour since I was fifteen and I've looked however I've wanted ever since. You want me to look like I am, but I choose how I am. I don't know how not to choose.'
'What happens if you just relax and let go?'
'Nothing happens. I stay like I am. I've been doing this for so long I can do it in my sleep, literally.'
'What do you want me to say?' I was bemused and rather at a loss for words.
'I just wanted you to know. It seemed important to you and I felt I should explain.'
She walked along beside me again, but her hand didn't return to mine. I felt as if I should apologise again, but I wasn't sure what for. Because I had assumed that she looked like a retired lady and not a young woman or because she didn't know what she looked like any better than I did? It was hollow and I was sure if I said anything, it would sound it.
We walked down a gentle hill with a big brick farmhouse on our left. The hedges had recently been flail-cut and torn pieces of sticks and leaves were strewn across the roadway. It reminded me of my life.
As we walked down the hill things began to register with me. It was like a seeing a cloud that suddenly looks like a dragon or realising the vase you were looking at is really the silhouette of two faces.
I stopped and she came to a halt with me.
'Do you know where we are?' I asked her.
'We can't be too far away now. We must have walked a couple of miles and it's only about five to the village.' She extracted the map from her bag and started unfolding it.
I walked past her a few paces, watching images come into line and visions fulfil themselves.
'You don't need the map. It's here.'
'We can't be at the village yet, it's another mile or so at least.'
'Come and look.'
She refolded the map and came and stood beside me, looking down a short access track at a pair of ornate iron gates attached to brick pillars with a large old brick farmhouse set out in a courtyard beyond them. The farm looked neat and well cared for.
'Are you sure?'
'Look at the name.'
The sign was for Forge Farm with a neat anvil depicted in the centre of the cast-iron oval sign.
'There could be more than one. There were no end of forges and foundries in this area a hundred years ago.'
'Look at the roof.'
Along the line of the roof were three iron doves, black and outlined against the darkening skyline. One was pecking while the other two were artfully engaged in each other. At the other end of the apex an iron cat stalked along the captiles, ready to pounce on them. It was the cat from my vision. As soon as I had seen it from the road I had been certain.
'Sure?'
I nodded.
'We'd better go and introduce ourselves then.
'Blackbird, before we do. I have another request, if you'll allow it?' I spoke gently, aware that the wrong word at this moment would lead to a rift between us, just when I thought we were getting closer.
'What?' Her answer was curt, but not harsh.
'Would you stay like you are now, just for a while, until I get used to it? I rather like you like that.'
She didn't say anything, but as we walked down the track towards the farm her hand curled into mine again. It was such a small thing, but it lifted my heart and I couldn't help the smile that came unbidden to my lips.
