“Oh, God!” I cried, dropping the bucket and towels unceremoniously on the linoleum floor. Vaguely, I registered the door suction shut behind me, locking me in.
And then I was on my knees, my hands feeling up the backs of his calves, toward his waist. All the muted emotions inside of me exploded in bright, blinding colors.
When I could finally speak, my voice was high and trembling.
“Chase?”
CHAPTER
16
SILENCE.
I tried to check his pulse. I didn’t know what I was doing.
There was little room to move in the cramped cell. I rolled Chase gently to his back while he remained unanimated, a rag doll. Like the man from the square. Frantically, I wedged myself against the wall, wrapping his heavy arm around my shoulders.
“Come on, Chase,” I prompted, frightened.
With all my strength, I hoisted him up onto the mattress. His upper torso and his hips made it, but his legs still hung over the edge. I laid him down as gently as I could and then pulled his knees up.
He groaned.
“Chase,” I said anxiously. His eyes were closed.
The consequent survey had my eyes blinking out of focus. A sharp breath raked my throat.
His face and neck were coated with dark black blood. The front of his shirt was drenched with it. My trembling hand reached for his cheek, stroking it gently. The heat from swelling mixed with the cool sticky residue on his skin.
“Chase, wake up. Please.”
Panic twisted inside of me. I thought about the little silver briefcase. The laundry carts. The execution that would surely ensue.
Everything had come together just to fall apart. I couldn’t escape with Chase in this condition, and I would not leave him this way.
“Why did you get caught?” I didn’t expect an answer.
I lifted his shirt. Several boot-sized contusions had begun to form over his ribs.
“It’s okay. This is okay. We just need to clean you up, that’s all.” It sounded like a different person’s voice coming out of my mouth. Someone calm, rational. Not me.
But that voice was right. I needed a task. I needed to focus on something.
I soaked a rag and ever so gently touched it to his face, mopping up the blood beside his nose. When it was soiled I shoved it beneath the bed and grabbed another. His raw lips, his ears, his neck. I whispered to him the whole time. Mostly gibberish.
I heard a rolling cart sliding down the hallway. Delilah was taking the soldier to the crematorium. My last chance at freedom was slipping out of the building. I couldn’t even feel regret. All I had room for was concern for Chase.
He didn’t stir until I moved to his forehead, where several cuts crossed over his scalp. When I reached a particularly nasty laceration, his eyes jolted open, irises dragging down into a sea of white. He blinked in confusion. His teeth bore down hard.
“Chase?”
I drew back and let him find my voice. I had learned from his nightmares that my hands on him while he roused would be too disorienting.
He swallowed before he was able to speak. His body shivered as if he were cold.
“Em?”
“Yes,” I cried, letting my tears rain down on his face. A tidal wave of relief crashed over me.
“I found you.” Though his voice crackled, he sounded satisfied.
A memory filtered back from long ago.
“I’m sorry. I should have told you from the beginning,” he said.
I shushed him. “Not important.”
“Yes it is.” He coughed, and when he did so, his whole body ripped into a spasm that had him curling around his stomach.
“Breathe. It’s okay,” I soothed, stroking his back. But knowing he was hurting ripped my heart wide open.
It took him a full minute to breathe evenly. When he finally lay back, his eyes were dazed with pain.
“Don’t talk,” I whispered. It took a minute, but he shoved himself up.
“I can fix this. I’m going to get you out.”
I froze, my hand still on his cheek.
“You
“I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” he said.
I knew what a promise meant to him. It was tearing him apart that he’d let my mother and me down.
“Sean’s waiting for you at a gas station in the Red Zone behind the base. He’ll help you.”
I knew the place. I’d seen its decrepit sign the first day I’d helped Delilah transport a body to the crematorium.
“Sean
“It’s on the western side. There’s an exit there. I’ll clear the gate for you and…”
“No.” I saw what he had envisioned: him fighting whomever it took to get me outside these gates. I could hardly breathe. He’d come here to rescue me knowing he was going to die.
My hands covered my mouth, and I collapsed on my knees beside the bed. So many feelings, all slamming together, all tearing through me. If I didn’t say it now, I wouldn’t be able to. My throat was already choking off.
“What happened… it’s not your fault,” I said, shaking.
I wanted to tell him I was sorry. That I forgave him. That I knew he loved me and that I loved him, too. I couldn’t. I fell apart, sobbing into my sleeves. His hands slipped around me, pulling me into his bruised body.
“You scared the hell out of me. I thought…” he sighed. “It doesn’t matter. You’re alive.”
A sound in the hallway extinguished my tears.
The guard on rotation. Or Delilah, back from her gruesome task.
We froze, listening to the footsteps. They grew louder, then paused, just outside of Chase’s cell. I held my breath and watched the door.
A clatter against the outside wall. His chart. Someone was going to come in.
Chase pushed me aside. In a laborious heave he stood, bracing against the wall for support. I jumped up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest, half certain he was about to fall over, half ready to make the guards tear us apart.
“Lay down!” I whispered.
He didn’t listen. It was a good thing he was injured. I was stronger than him in his current condition. I shoved him back to the bed and pushed his head down. He looked like he might throw up. Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered this as a symptom of concussion.
A key fit into the lock, turned.
“Keep your eyes closed!” I said quietly.
