“Aren’t you scared?” Sam asked.
“Why would I be? If you wanted to kill me, you could’ve done it by now. Or not bothered to rescue me.” She shrugged. “Either way, I’d be dead. Besides, I already suspected you weren’t what you appeared to be. I saw the way you moved when you took out the leader of that gang. No human could’ve possibly moved that fast. Why are you half-demon?”
Sam swallowed hard and clenched his fingers. “Because my mother was raped by a demon.”
“Oh.” She looked surprised and slightly taken aback by that response.
“And what about you?” asked Joshua. “You’ve been on the road with us for three days and hardly spoken a word. Who were those people at the barricade?”
Grace looked away for a moment. When she looked back, tears were gleaming in her eyes. “They were my aunty and uncle,” she said.
“I’m sorry,” said Sam, and he truly felt it. “What happened to your mom and dad?”
She wiped her nose. “They were taken.”
“Taken?” asked Josh.
Grace jerked her head upwards. “You know. Taken.”
“Not by demons then?” asked Sam. “Your parents were religious? They went up in the Rapture?”
Grace nodded.
“Why not you?” asked Joshua.
“I could ask you the same question,” she retorted. “Clearly, I didn’t believe.”
Grace had brought up something Sam had wanted to ask Joshua for some time. He’d just not had a chance. Now seemed perfect.
“And why not you?”Sam asked Joshua. “Of all people, I thought you would be taken by the Rapture.”
Joshua’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you assume that just because my uncle’s belief was strong, mine would be too? My uncle made me read the Bible every night, but I just didn’t believe it. It’s as simple as that. I didn’t have any faith.” He ended with a sour look on his face.
“And what about now? Do you believe now?”
Josh smiled. “How could I not when it’s been thrust in my face?”
Sam turned to Grace. “You?”
She nodded. “Bit late now though. What about you?” she asked Sam.
“Of course. My faith has always been strong. Probably stronger than any others given that I’ve known what I am from an early age. Where there are demons, there are angels. That means there’s always been a hell and a heaven. Where do you think I’d rather go?”
“Why didn’t you go there? To heaven, I mean.” Grace looked puzzled and Sam could understand why. Faith was obviously a very simple thing for her; you either believed or you didn’t.
Sam clenched his jaw and refused to look at her. “Because demons aren’t allowed in Heaven.”
She looked surprised by that. “Did … did you lose anyone else to the Rapture?”
“Yes,” he said grimly.
Without another word, he began packing up their gear.
Sam ran harder than usual that night, as if he was trying to outpace his memories. Grace had made him think more about Hikari and Aimi than he’d wanted and it hurt. The pain in his chest had nothing to do the strenuous pace he set.
The others followed behind on horseback, struggling to keep up as they made their way through canyons and stunted, dead vegetation. They were slowly descending off the plateau and the going was gradually getting easier. They’d made good progress.
Through the night, Sam thought he’d glimpsed Astaroth in the sky a couple of times. He wasn’t that concerned though; from what Big Tom had told him, he was not worried about a large, concerted demon attack. According to the map, there simply was not another town — or church — for miles.
The light got brighter and Sam finally brought them to a stop near a small, rocky outcropping. As he was preparing his bedroll, he felt a light touch on his arm.
“Who was she?” asked Grace.
His immediate angry response died in his throat when he saw her earnest, caring expression. He took a deep breath. “Her name was Aimi,” he said.
“You loved her.” It wasn’t a question; merely a statement of fact.
Sam nodded mutely. “The Rapture took my foster-father, too.”
“If it’s any consolation, they’ve gone to a better place. I know it makes me feel better when I think of my parents.” She laid her hand gently on his arm again.
Sam shook it off angrily. “The difference between you and me is that you will see your loved ones again. I won’t. Not ever.” He was aware that his voice was rising, but he didn’t care. Nearby, Joshua was wisely keeping out of it.
“I’m … sorry,” said Grace, looking slightly hurt. “I didn’t know.”
He stood up quickly, feeling the familiar sensation of frustration building in him. “I told you this morning. I won’t be let into Heaven. That means I will never see them again. Do you get it?” he shouted.
At his feet, Grace was beginning to recoil in fear and shock. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed by embarrassment and self-loathing. This poor girl had suffered enough. Why was he treating her like this?
He picked up his swords. Still too angry to apologise, he stalked off into the early morning light.
Sam re-joined the others just as the sky was starting to darken again. He’d spent the day meditating and training; anything to take his mind off his loss. He knew Grace had meant well and was deeply sorry for the way he’d shouted at her.
Joshua was just rousing himself when Sam trudged in to their small campsite. He saw the other boy quickly pull down the long sleeve of his shirt. Sam saw the flash of a white bandage, wrapped around his right wrist.
“What have you done?” asked Sam, indicating Josh’s arm.
Josh looked embarrassed. “Cut myself when I was off collecting firewood, didn’t I. Silly really.”
“Do you want me to have a look at it? Hikari made me study a lot of first aid.”
“No, it’s fine, really,” he said, shaking his head.
“Fine, but don’t let it get infected. We’ve still got a long way to go and we’re in the middle of no-where.”
Josh smiled. “Sure. Thanks, Sam.”
He went searching for Grace and found her tending the horses. She looked startled when she saw him, then pointedly turned her back. Careful not to get too close to the horses, he stood behind her, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. He’d never really been good at apologising.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m sorry for scaring you.”
“You should be.” She looked angry. “I was only trying to help.”
“I know. I won’t let it happen again.”
That mollified her a little. Her face softened. “Ok,”she said, giving him a grudging smile. “Apology accepted.”
He smiled back, deciding he really liked Grace. She was a good person. Exactly the sort of person whom he had been left behind to protect. In his travels so far, he had met a lot of them. There was Adam and many of the Black Ridge survivors, Big Tom and his sons and Grace of course. If he had found this many in such a short time, then it stood to reason that there were many more out there that needed his help.
This was worthwhile. This was what he was here to do. This was what Gabriel had in mind for him all along. The thought made him feel much better. Even the harsh pain of losing Hikari and Aimi was starting to recede slightly. Grace was right; he had to take comfort in the thought that they had gone somewhere better and stop thinking about his own suffering for once. He’d been selfish for so long, it was about time he started thinking about others for a change.
He was beginning to come to terms with what he was and what he had to do. Perhaps, he reflected, it was a sign of maturity.
Then he smiled to himself. Fat chance.
