CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Time to think. It was something that Ray Brentwood, ex-commanding officer of the guided missile frigate USS
At San Diego’s Veterans Hospital, the so-called “restorative” operations were over, but despite laser “weld” plastic surgery, the tight, polished-skinned ugliness of “burn unit” surgery remained. It was so severe that, upon meeting him, people made a point of chatting with him and looking at him longer than they normally would any other acquaintance in order to prove to him and to themselves that it didn’t really matter — when it did. Beth and the children had been the least of his worries, as it turned out. At first he’d been afraid that John, four, and Jeannie, seven, would, albeit unintentionally, shy away from him. But they, like Beth, adapted faster than Ray thought he had any sight to expect. The worst of it for the children wasn’t the long trip down from Seattle to San Diego Veterans — they welcomed these — but the teasing by other children. The “Frankenwood” jokes. Who was it, Ray wondered, who had said children had become more sensitive in America because of the experiences of so many minorities in the melting pot? It was a lie. Children — no matter what their nationality— all lived in the same country in childhood. It was the world of survival of the fittest, the most natural instinct to pick on the weak.
Even so, for Ray Brentwood, his children’s burden at school, caused by his disfigurement, was not the worst of it for him. Much more damaging for the family as a whole was the undeniable fact that Ray Brentwood, captain, U.S. Navy, had been fished up out of the water by rescue craft while many of his crew had perished aboard the frigate, fighting the fires that had finally been extinguished.
Ray had gone over his testimony to the naval board of inquiry a million times. He remembered one moment he’d been standing on the bridge. There was an explosion of glass as the missile had hit, and then he’d been thrown back. The second officer, or was it the third? — covered in blood — was screaming something at him, and the next thing he remembered was thrashing about in the water. The crucial question for the board, and for his peace of mind, which had never been answered, was: Had he been pushed over by the officer of the watch or somebody else who had thought the ship was irretrievably lost? Or had he quit the ship voluntarily?
In vain, his court-appointed lawyer searched for testimony that would answer the question, but all the others on the bridge were dead within minutes of the missile hitting or had died shortly thereafter before any exonerating testimony could have been collected. The fact that the
The Brentwood case wasn’t simply a matter of naval PR for the Pentagon but was seen as a crucial case not only for the navy but for all the services. With thousands of young officers raised in peace, not having received a baptism of fire, it was considered vital by the chief of naval operations that benefit of doubt, which might properly be extended in a “civil mercantile marine situation,” should not be extended in the case of Capt. John Raymond Brentwood, USN.
Ray Brentwood was then named an “interested party” to the inquiry. It was an innocent-sounding phrase but one that spelled terminal paralysis, if not outright rejection, for the hopes of advancement in any career officer. The decision of the inquiry was to “immediately relieve” Captain Brentwood of his command over the
Second, it was rumored that the navy, because of the increasing convoy losses due to the unexpected successes of the renewed Soviet sub pack offensives in both the Atlantic and the Pacific, needed anyone who could tell a bow from a stern. The first part of the scuttlebutt, about his family connections, was untrue. Adm. John Brentwood was the last man to interfere, to pull strings for kin. He abhorred it, fought it all his life. The second part of the scuttlebutt was correct — the U.S. Navy
“Retire to what?” he’d snapped. “Who’d have me anyway? The sea’s the only thing I know anything about — only thing I care about.”
“How about the family, Ray?”
He’d turned on her, the bright sheen of what had been his cheeks stretched tighter than usual over the reconstituted jawbone they’d wired together for ten weeks — all his nourishment had had to be taken by straw. “You know what I mean, Elizabeth. I
He walked away from her and looked out from the living room of their bungalow toward the clutter of gantries, gulls, and noise of traffic below, the latter’s diesel and gasoline fumes so thick that only now and then could he hope to catch a whiff of the sea. Thank God the burn hadn’t taken away his sense of smell. “If they’d only send me to sea again, I—” He spread his hands in utter frustration. “Goddamn it! I have to get back my pride. A coast guard cutter, patrol boat — anything! All I need, Beth, is a command again.”
He sat down on the love seat, tossing his cap on the coffee table, running his fingers through his hair, which by now had all returned except for a mangy patch above the left ear. He was glancing anxiously at his watch. In ten minutes — three o’clock — Washington said it would ring with the Pentagon’s decision. “Make a difference to the kids, too, wouldn’t it? To say I had a command again.”
“Yes,” said Beth softly, “I guess it would. But you’d still be away from us.” He looked across at her. Her love was genuine; he could see it in her eyes and it constantly amazed him. She saw right through him, right to the heart, to his desperate longing for things as they used to be and knowing they couldn’t be the same ever again. It was
“No,” she’d replied, her hand cool, calmly stroking him over the hard, unfeeling scar, looking only at his eyes. “I love you,” she’d said. “You understand, Ray? I love you.” He’d cried and she held him and he wept like a child. “There’s plenty of time,” she’d assured him, and at once he’d felt humiliated — as low as he’d ever been — and grateful, and angry that he should be grateful, and overwhelmed because she meant it.
The phone rang. She looked at him to answer it. “You take it,” he said, not wanting to grab it — sound as if he’d been anxiously hovering over it all day.
“Hello? Yes, he’s here. Just a moment please.” She placed her hand over the mouthpiece and held the phone out to him. “I think it’s the Pentagon.”
She waited as he spoke, biting her nails. Damn it! Why couldn’t he ever give any indication of what was being said? The old navy macho cool.
“Yes, sir,” was all she heard him say, his tone neutral. “Yes, sir. I understand — yes, sir.” He put the phone down slowly.
“Hi, Mom! — Where are you?” It was Jeannie, home from school. Then they heard John.
“Quickly,” Beth urged Ray.
“Wait till the kids simmer down,” he told her.
He looked down at his cap. “They’ve given me a command. Don’t know what yet. Have to report to San Diego in forty-eight hours and—”
“Hi, Dad!” Jeannie called out, then stopped, letting her school bag slide to the ground. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” said Beth quickly. “Your dad got one of those darn gnats in his — straight in his eye. Here—” She