experience, if they hired you as the number two guy in the department. Even allowing for a couple of years in b- school and my bad arithmetic, you walked away from at least ten years in banking when you quit. That’s a big career investment to leave behind. Why’d you do it?”
Burrows looked at me for a while and shook his head a little. “It was over thirteen years, altogether, and my reasons were personal. Can you understand that?” he said, more tired than angry. “Look, if it’s me you want to discuss, I’m sorry, the answer is no.” He got up and carried his glass to the kitchen and returned with it filled.
“How did you know that I ran correspondent banking?” he asked.
“Research. That’s what I do.”
“And what has your research told you about Gerard so far?”
“Not a lot. That he was a big deal maker. That he was charming, and liked a party. That he liked women, and being seen with them,” I answered.
Burrows snorted. “He liked to be seen with them, and he liked to fuck them, that’s true. I don’t know how much he actually liked them. In fact, I think he hated them.” He stumbled a little over “fuck,” as if he was out of practice with vulgarity. He drank some water. “Deal maker, charming, life of the party-you’ve been talking to people who didn’t know him well.”
Alan Burrows was a paradox. On the one hand, he kept proclaiming that he had nothing to tell me. And, so far, he hadn’t told me much. On the other hand, he hadn’t thrown me out yet. And he kept on talking. There was some heavy conflict there, and that was good news for me. “You know different?” I asked.
He ran a hand through his damp hair and looked into his glass. “Charming, a big deal maker, loved parties- that was the press he put out, and it was true, as far as it went. But there was another story, altogether different.” He stopped and looked up at me again. “Your employer could write a book just on Gerard, but he’d have to do it as fiction, because nobody would believe it as fact.” His voice quavered, like he’d run out of air. He took a noisy swallow from his glass and then was still.
“I’d like to hear that story, and you’re the first person I’ve met who could tell it,” I said.
Burrows shook his head, more vigorously this time. “Tell it… Jesus… I’ve spent fifteen years trying to forget it,” he said, almost in a whisper.
“How’s that going-the forgetting?” I asked softly.
“Not well,” he said.
The lines seemed to deepen on Burrows’s ruined, handsome face, and his eyes looked moist and more tired than ever. He gathered some breath and asked, “Are you really working for a writer?” So much for my decent story.
“No,” I said after a while. “No, I’m not. I’m trying to help someone who did some business, legitimate business, with Nassouli a long time ago, and who’s run into trouble because of it.”
“Legitimate business-with Nassouli, I suppose that’s theoretically possible,” Burrows said with a small, harsh laugh. “But if your client did any kind of business with Gerard, he may need more help than you can give him. Tell him he should talk to a priest.”
“I’ll be sure to mention it. But right now, I’m all there is in the help department. Me, and maybe you.”
“Is this usually an effective approach for you, Mr. March-lying to people, then asking for their help? Does it build a lot of trust?” Again, Burrows seemed unable to generate much anger. He seemed gripped, instead, by a powerful, bone-deep fatigue.
“I was acting in what I judged to be my client’s best interests, Mr. Burrows. I thought you’d be more forthcoming talking to someone doing research for a book than you would someone pursuing an investigation. Maybe it was a bad call. I make them sometimes, and I correct them when I can. But I wasn’t lying to you when I said this would be confidential.”
Burrows waved his hand, like he was shooing a fly. “Being lied to doesn’t bother me much, Mr. March. Maybe that comes from working for Nassouli for seven years, or maybe it just comes from working on Wall Street. Whatever-I’ve gotten comfortable with it. I’ve come to expect it.”
He looked at me and looked away. He was poised on a precipice, balanced on the verge of something. His eyes were narrow and clouded, and they roamed aimlessly around the room. The conflict behind them was one I’d seen before. It took me back to cop days, to exhausted suspects caught between fear and the swelling need to speak and be understood… and maybe forgiven. I was wondering which way to push him, or if I should push at all, when he stiffened his shoulders and locked his eyes on mine.
He squinted and peered, like a man driving slowly through a fogsearching the opaque air for familiar shadows and looming hazards. He stared for a long time, and I held his gaze. I don’t know exactly what Burrows sought in my eyes and face-some sign of shared knowledge, maybe. A common thread of loss or regret; or a mutual acquaintance with solitary rooms, and the tyranny of memory. Whatever it was, I guess he found it. He made his decision and spoke.
“I think it’s hard for a lot of people to understand evil, believe the reality of it, unless they’ve experienced it firsthand, don’t you? I know it was that way for me, before I met him. ‘Evil’ and ‘corruption’ were just words to me, before him. Gerard Nassouli was the worst man I’ve ever met, Mr. March. He was a fucking monster.” The vulgarity gave him no trouble this time.
“Yes, he loved the deal making and the high life, and you must know from the papers what sorts of things he was engaged in at MWB. But his genius, and his true passion, was corruption. Corrupting people, and then collecting them, like some people collect bugs-pinned and mounted under glass. No deal was a complete success for him unless it involved adding somebody to his little collection. I think that’s why MWB was so perfect for him. It let him marry his vocation with his avocation.” He turned his glass slowly in his hands.
“It sounds strange, I know. It’s hard to understand if you don’t see it for yourself. I worked with the man almost every day for seven years, and I didn’t see it at first. He was smart, and charming, but what he was best at was reading people. He could see into them, how they were put together, what they wanted, what drove them. And whatever it was, he would somehow arrange for them to have it-with no strings attached. Not at first, anyway.” His voice was very soft now, and I was straining to hear. “In the end, it cost them everything.”
When he paused, a palpable silence took hold of the apartment. There was no traffic noise, no whirring of the building’s machinery, no humming of appliances. I kept very still and took slow breaths and focused my eyes on the wall behind Burrows, afraid that, like a deer, any stray motion or sound or even the force of my gaze might spook him and break the spell. Burrows leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs, the water glass still before him, held in both his hands. He peered inside, as if into a deep well.
“You’d think he was the best friend you’d ever had-smart, funny, worldly, and infinitely understanding of human failings. If you had a vice, a weakness, a little character tic, well, Gerard had plenty too. And whatever yours were, you’d never get even a raised eyebrow from him. Just a wink and a nod, as if to say ‘It’s no big deal. Go ahead. Enjoy. That’s what men do.’ And he’d sit back and wait and watch. To see the kind of women you liked, or men, to see what you envied, what made you bitter, to see what you liked and hated about yourself, to see what lies you told yourself, and, especially, to see what you most coveted. It could take months, years even. He didn’t care. He was patient. It was like tending a garden, he used to say.”
Burrows looked up, and the motion startled me. His eyes were red. “This is too vague, isn’t it? You want to know what he was like, how he did business. You need specifics.” Burrows’s soft, deep voice was steady now, and it stayed that way through all the stories he told me.
Chapter Ten
“Larry-let’s call him Larry-had just moved to town from somewhere in the Midwest, with his brand-new wife in tow. Larry was ambitious, and lucky. He had the world by the balls. And he had no clue at all of what was about to happen to him.” Burrows found the rhythm of his narrative easily, and I got the feeling he’d waited a long time to tell his stories. His tone was ironical and detached. The irony seemed to come naturally to him. He had to work at the detachment.
“Larry had just landed a job trading currency for one of the biggest FX market-makers on the Street. He’d been a rising star at the regional bank that he’d come from, but, after all, it was just a regional bank-a farm team. This was the big league, and the FX market was hot back then. Larry was poised to make some real money. And
