It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Zombies

I SAW MOMMY CHEWING SANTA CLAUS

Sung to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”

I saw Mommy chewing Santa Claus

Underneath the Christmas tree last night.

I snuck up without a peep

Behind Mommy, the Zombie creep,

Now she’s biting off Santa Claus’s cheek.

When I saw Mommy chewing Santa Claus

Underneath his beard now turning red,

Oh what a laugh we would have said

If Daddy weren’t already dead

While Mommy chewed on Santa Claus last night.

ZOMBIES ON THE HOUSETOP

Sung to the tune of “Up on the Housetop”

Up on the housetop, Zombies pause,

Eating poor old Santa Claus.

Down through the chimney come Santa’s parts.

Once a Zombie bites—ouch that smarts!

Chorus

Ho, Ho, Ho, better not go.

Ho, Ho, Ho, better not go.

Up on the housetop, snack, snack, snack.

Down through the chimney comes Santa’s back.

First comes the corpse of little Nell.

Oh, those Zombies bit it well.

Forget about a dolly that laughs and cries,

Zombies die first then open their eyes.

Chorus

Next the undead are stalking little Will.

Oh, just see he’s a glorious meal.

We use a hammer and lots of tacks,

And he has a brain and a spine that cracks.

Ho, ho ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Up on the housetop, snack, snack, snack!

Down through the chimney with Santa’s back!

WE THREE SPLEENS

Sung to the tune of “We Three Kings”

We three spleens, you know where we are:

Two in the kitchen and one in the car.

We are still eating, people are fleeing.

Let’s eat the one in the car.

O-oooh, spleens of wonder, they taste right.

We could eat spleens all day and night.

We’re still eating, people screaming.

Let’s eat until first light.

THE ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS SONG

Sing to the tune of “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)”

Fresh brains roasting on an open fire,

Zombies chewing off your nose—

It all began when they ate the whole choir.

They’re even eating Eskimos.

Everybody knows a leg bone and someone’s toes

Make a Zombie’s season bright.

Tiny tots, with their eyes in a bowl,

Will find it hard to see tonight!

We know Zombie Santa’s on his way;

He’s eaten lots of boys and girls in his sleigh,

And every mother’s child is going to spy

To see if Zombie reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I’m running to get out of here

Before the Zombies eat me too.

Although it’s been said about the Undead,