process you discovered the Antediluvian ruins. Were you to have centered your report on them alone, you would have done well.”
“I know. I recall you telling me to write a book about it, and that my fortune would be assured.” Ian flipped pages back atop his copy of the report and squared the edges. “I know that this report is accurate, but it seems lacking, terribly lacking.”
“It is modestly presented, as befits the hero you are.”
He shook his head. “You say that because you believe it, Catherine, but I know the real reasons for the modesty. The primary one is that the men with whom I traveled impressed me. Awed me, even.”
She drew back, her eyes narrowing. “You do yourself a grave injustice with the implied comparison.”
“But it is accurate, because I know who I am.” Ian’s heart began to speed up as memories he’d wished to remain at rest began to rattle around in his mind. “These men, your husband included, took to incredible hardships with good nature that I could barely understand. I could not let them believe they were better suited to things than I, but were it not for Count von Metternin and their respect for him, I doubt we should have called a halt to marching save for nightfall. And the Gazette, it does not do the battle against the wolves justice. We survived not only by dint of courage, but because they had the foresight to choose our campsite carefully and to build a small breastwork to offer defense.”
“Beasts fighting beasts.”
“I disagree, my dear.” He rested a hand on hers. “I know you have no love for Woods or Kamiskwa, and Bone is of a class with them and Dunsby, but crude use of language cannot be mistaken for a dull mind. Though I found his words bordering on blasphemy, Nathaniel Woods proved very capable in addressing a logical argument. Back in Norisle, there’s more than one Oxford Don who would meet his better in Woods.”
“Still, Ian, you are a more courageous man. Benefiting from breeding and education, you understand more fully the risks you take. This makes your actions far more brave than theirs.”
Ian swallowed hard. “I trust you will continue to think that, Catherine, for there is something that I must reveal to you. Something of which I am not proud, for it reveals me to be a coward.”
She squeezed his forearm. “I shall never think poorly of you, dear Ian.”
He glanced down, unable to meet her gaze. I must tell her, I will tell her, but just not all of it yet. “Catherine, you know I was married. My wife killed herself. Many people put it down to her having been quite fragile of spirit, and reports of my death wounded her. My injuries, though I recovered from them, further frightened her. She feared losing me, and that fear consumed her life.”
Catherine nodded. “The gist of that story has been communicated to me, yes.”
“It’s not the truth.” Ian’s head came up. “You see, I had been cuckolded. Just as I now put the horns on Owen’s head, so another man had replaced me in my wife’s bed. Replaced me in her affections.”
“Who, Ian?”
“It is not important, darling. What you must understand is that when she heard I had been killed, her spirits soared because then she was free to be with her lover. But when I was not dead, and when I was elevated to the status of hero… for her to have left me, for any hint of the scandal to be revealed, would have destroyed her and perhaps even her lover. I gather that he spurned her from that point forward, and this is why she took her life.”
“Oh, Ian.” Catherine took his hand in hers and raised it to her lips. “It must have caused you terrible heartache, my dear.”
He nodded, his throat thickening to block any words.
“Who was it, Ian?”
He shook his head.
Catherine’s voice sharpened. “You must tell me, Ian. You are too good a man to see it, but whomever this is, he is your enemy. He will have to destroy you, so you must be careful, and I will help you there. Who was it?”
Ian exhaled slowly. “Duke Deathridge.”
Blood drained from her face.
Ian pulled her to him. “I knew I should not have told you, my love. I know you could not have thought evil of Owen’s uncle. Some men might have thought it fitting, my taking you to my bed because Richard Ventnor had taken my wife to his, but I am not vindictive. I love you, and that is the reason I cannot give you up.”
Catherine pulled back and caressed his cheek. “Oh, darling, you are a noble and brave man. Already he has tried to destroy you. He sent Owen here to win fame and riches for the family. You he sent on a much more difficult mission, hoping to destroy you. And now it makes sense, why you downplay your role. Instinctively you knew that to draw more attention to yourself would be to invite him to work more diligently to destroy you. I should have known. I should have seen. I should have protected you before this.”
“You have, my love.” Ian kissed her palm. “Deathridge would have had copies of the Gazette story sent to him. For me not to include it with my report would be suspect. He must not know that I know. This is the only way he shall think me harmless, and that orders shall be issued that bring me back to Norisle. When those orders come, I shall take you and Miranda with me.”
“Oh, darling.” Catherine kissed him softly on the lips. “Yes, I shall go with you, happily, proudly.”
Ian kissed her more firmly, his arms encircling her in a fierce embrace. He trapped her against his chest, and would have dragged her into his lap, but she pressed a hand to his breastbone and held him off. He loosened his arms. “What is it?”
She looked away. “I will go with you, Ian, but Miranda cannot come with us.”
“But she must.”
“No, not immediately.” She rose from her chair and drifted toward the room’s shadowed corner. “From the day of her birth Owen has made her a creature of this place, of Mystria. She would be completely out of place in Norisle. Do you know that on occasions when Woods brings his half-breed children to Temperance, Owen allows Miranda to play with them? Savages, Ian, unbathed, heathen, bastard savages who play at hunting. Miranda can read a track by the river better than she can read letters. Just last week, when the Prince’s man, Baker, had trapped several rabbits, Miranda was upset that I would not let her help him butcher them. Right now, at her age, she does not understand why this is wrong.”
“But, darling, time in Norisle will break her of these things.”
Catherine shook her head. “Oh, Ian, you are too noble a man to even imagine the other side of these things. Were she to come over now, she would be teased mercilessly. She would not understand why, and would cry herself to sleep every night. No, in three years, perhaps five, when she is old enough to reason, then we can send for her. We can prepare her. Perhaps, by then,” Catherine turned and smiled at him, “she shall have brothers and sisters.”
That idea sent a jolt through Ian. He rose from his chair and went to her, embracing her from behind, pulling her back against him, kissing the back of her neck. “From the first moment I saw you, and again when I woke up and you were my healing angel, I thought, I dreamed, of you someday bearing a child of mine. You were so gentle with me, and are so gentle with your daughter, that I knew I could not want for a better mother for my children.”
“Oh, Ian, I shall bear your children, and proudly. Once in Norisle we shall find a prelate who will annul my marriage to Ian, then we shall wed.” She turned in his arms, the sheet falling from her, and hugged herself to him. “I already feel I am your wife, and dream of the day our love is sanctioned.”
“Nothing will make me happier, darling.”
She sighed and laid her head against his shoulder.
“What is it, dearest?”
“Ian, we shall know pain before we know joy.” Her hands came up over his back, hooking on to his shoulders, the nails biting in. “I would tell everyone that you are my lover, but we cannot. We will be able to meet here, from time to time-not as often as either of us would desire, but enough, perhaps.”
“I will never get enough of you, Catherine.”
“Or I of you, Ian. But until the time we can be together, there is something I must do. For your sake, to protect you.”
“What is it, darling?”
“Duke Deathridge is a powerful man. Owen is his nephew and his agent in Mystria. Were there to be any suspicion of our love, Deathridge would destroy you.” She looked up and kissed his throat. “For the sake of our
