grander family, raised by Charles II to the Earldom of Croom . . .' (hannah enters briskly, apiece of paper in her hand.)
hannah: Bernard . . .! Val. . .
Bernard: Do you mind?
(HANNAHpwte her piece ofpaper downin front ofValentine.)
chloE: (Angrily)Hannah).
hannah: What?
53
CHLOE: She's so rudel
HANNAH: (Taken aback) What? Am I?
valentine: Bernard's reading us his lecture.
HANNAH: Yes, Iknow. (Then recollecting herself.) Yes -yes -that was rude. I'm sorry, Bernard.
valentine: (With the piece of paper) What is this?
hannah: (To Bernard) Spot on- the India Office Library. (To valentine) Peacock's letter in holograph, I got a copy sent -
chloE: Hannahl Shut up!
hannah: (Sitting down) Yes, sorry.
Bernard: It's all right, I'll read it to myself.
chlo?: No.
(HANNAH reaches for the Peacock letter and takes it back.)
hannah: Go on, Bernard. Have I missed anything? Sorry. (BERNARD stares at her balefully but then continues to read.)
Bernard: The Byrons of Newstead in 1809 comprised an eccentric widow and her undistinguished son, the 'lame brat', who until the age often when he came into the title, had been carted about the country from lodging to lodging by his vulgar hectoring monster of a mother -' (h ann ah's hand has gone up) - overruled - 'and who four months past his twenty-first birthday was master of nothing but his debts and his genius. Between the Byrons and the Coverlys there was no social equality and none to be expected. The connection, undisclosed to posterity until now, was with Septimus Hodge, Byron's friend at Harrow and Trinity College-' (Hannah's hand goes up again) - sustained - (He makes an instant correction with a silver pencil.) 'Byron's contemporary at Harrow and Trinity College, and now tutor in residence to the Croom daughter, Thomasina Coverly. Byron's letters tell us where he was on April 8th and on April 12th. He was at Newstead. But on the 10th he was at Sidley Park, as attested by the game book preserved there: 'April 10th 1809-forenoon. High cloud, dry, and sun between times, wind southeasterly. Self-Augustus - Lord Byron. Fourteen pigeon, one hare (Lord B.).' But, as we know now, the drama of life and death at Sidley Park was not about pigeons but about sex and literature.'
54
valentine: Unless you were the pigeon.
Bernard: I don't have to do this. I'm paying you a compliment.
chlo?: Ignore him, Bernard - go on, get to the duel.
Bernard: Hannah's not even paying attention.
hannah: Yes I am, it's all going in. I often work with the radio on.
Bernard: Oh thanks!
hannah: Is there much more?
chloE: Hannah!
hannah: No, it's fascinating. I just wondered how much more there was. I need to ask Valentine about this (letter) - sorry, Bernard, go on, this will keep.
valentine: Yes - sorry, Bernard.
chloE: Please, Bernard!
Bernard: Where was I?
valentine: Pigeons.
chloE: Sex.
hannah: Literature.
Bernard: Life and death. Right. 'Nothing could be more
eloquent of that than the three documents I have quoted: the terse demand to settle a matter in private; the desperate scribble of 'my husband has sent for pistols'; and on April i ith, the gauntlet thrown down by the aggrieved and cuckolded author Ezra Chater. The covers have not survived. What is certain is that all three letters were in Byron's possession when his books were sold in 1816 -preserved in the pages of 'The Couch of Eros' which seven years earlier at Sidley Park Byron had borrowed from Septimus Hodge.'
hannah: Borrowed?
BERNARD: I will be taking questions at the end. Constructive comments will be welcome. Which is indeed my reason for trying out in the provinces before my London opening under the auspices of the Byron Society prior to publication. By the way, Valentine, do you want a credit? - 'the game book recently discovered by.'?
valentine: It was never lost, Bernard.
Bernard: 'As recently pointed out by.' I don't normally like
55
giving credit where it's due, but with scholarly articles as with divorce, there is a certain cachet in citing a member of the aristocracy. I'll pop it in ad lib for the lecture, and give you a mention in the press release. How's that?
valentine: Very kind.
HANNAH: Press release? What happened to the Journal of English Studies}
Bernard: That comes later with the apparatus, and in the recognized tone - very dry, very modest, absolutely gloat-free, and yet unmistakably 'Eat your heart out, you dozy bastards'. But first, it's 'Media Don, book early to avoid disappointment'. Where was I?
valentine: Game book.
chloE: Eros.
hannah: Borrowed.
Bernard: Right.' - borrowed from Septimus Hodge. Is it conceivable that the letters were already in the book when Byron borrowed it?'
valentine: Yes.
chloE: Shut up, Val.
valentine: Well, it's conceivable.
Bernard: 'Is it likely that Hodge would have lent Byron the book without first removing the three private letters?'
valentine: Look, sorry -1 only meant, Byron could have borrowed the book without asking.
hannah: That's true.
Bernard: Then why wouldn't Hodge get them back?
hannah: I don't know, I wasn't there.
BERNARD: That's right, you bloody weren't.
chloE: Go on, Bernard.
Bernard: 'It is the third document, the challenge itself, that convinces. Chater 'as a man and a poet', points the finger at his 'slanderer in the press'. Neither as a man nor a poet did Ezra Chater cut such a figure as to be habitually slandered or even mentioned in the press. It is surely indisputable that the slander was the review of 'The Maid of Turkey' in the Piccadilly Recreation, Did Septimus Hodge have any connection with the London periodicals? No. Did Byron?
56
Yes! He had reviewed Wordsworth two years earlier, he was to review Spencer two years later. And do we have any clue as to Byron's opinion of Chater the poet? Yes! Who but Byron could have written the four lines pencilled into Lady Croom's copy of English Bards and Scotch Reviewers' -
HANNAH: Almost anybody.
BERNARD: Darling T
