were the wrong shade of copper and that the politician depicted on them was facing the wrong way. And the leather pouch that contained the coins was not leather at all, but burlap. He was furious! He was so angry that he lobbied to have Penny and Mary banished from town, and, sadly, he was successful.”
“No!” said Nathan, drawing out the vowel for as long as he could.
“Oh, Nathan, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“If you know where they’re currently living, you could share that information with me.”
“And if I knew it, I would share it, I promise. But nobody knows where they’ve gone, except for perhaps… perhaps…oh, I dare not even speak the name…”
“Officer Danbury?”
“No.”
“Mrs. Calmon, our former schoolteacher?”
“No.”
“Then who? Who?”
“None other than Mortus Ranklin!”
“I don’t actually know who that is.”
“He’s a ghastly man. To look into his eyes is to know that all puppies eventually grow old and perish. His scowl could turn the happiest elf into the saddest druid. But he knows things. Dark things. Sinister things. And he might know where Penny and Mary have gone.”
“Then I shall speak to him.”
“Speak to who?” asked Jamison, rubbing his head and sitting up.
“Mortus Ranklin,” said Beverly.
“Oh, hell no.”
“If he’s the only one who can help us, then I will speak to him, no matter what,” said Nathan.
Jamison shook his head. “You don’t understand. To look into his eyes is to know that the market for freshly born infant noses is alive and well. His scowl could turn the merriest leprechaun into the most despondent sasquatch. That said, he does keep pretty good tabs on the people who were banished from our community, so he’d be an excellent resource.”
“If you knew that they were banished, why did you let me come here?” Nathan asked.
“I didn’t know they were banished until Beverly said it.”
“If you heard Beverly say it, why did you pretend to still be unconscious?”
Jamison fidgeted a bit. “I just…I’m not…look, I spent most of my life thinking I was dying, and thus need not answer for my actions.”
“How do we get out of here?” Nathan asked.
“The only way is back up the pit, the way we came,” said Beverly. “We’ll have to form a human ladder. The residents don’t enjoy it, what with their bones being so brittle and all, but they’re easy to lift and they don’t move around much once they’re in place.”
After they climbed out of the pit, Nathan said “I thank both of you for your help. I won’t ask you to put yourself in any more danger. If you wish not to accompany me on the rest of my journey, I will completely understand.”
“I’m with you,” said Jamison.
“As am I,” said Beverly.
“Is this because you’re honoring the bonds we formed as children, or because your town has become overrun by lunatics?”
“A little of both for me,” said Jamison.
“I didn’t like you until about thirty minutes ago, and I didn’t realize that the town was overrun by lunatics until you just said it. I’d assumed that the man with the baseball bat was an isolated case. I’m very uncomfortable now. So neither option was correct.”
“It doesn’t matter. Let us go to see Mortus Ranklin!”
TWENTY-THREE
There were many villains in the world of Fangboy, but his encounter with Mortus Ranklin was so terrifying that it would be irresponsible of any storyteller to share more than brief snippets.
“However dangerous this turns out to be, it can’t be worse than what has come before…”
“He lives in
“I cannot scream! I cannot scream! Until this very moment I never knew that it was possible for the human body to be so terrified that it couldn’t emit a scream sound, but that’s exactly the situation I find myself in right now…”
“So much blood…so much blood…”
“To look into his eyes is to know that because babies look so similar, hospitals give the wrong ones to parents at least fifteen percent of the time…”
“Well, it’s a relief that we lived through
“Through this experience and our mutual terror, we have forged a bond that can never be broken. No matter how far apart our individual destinies take us, we shall always know that we have each other to count on…”
“Help! Help! Help! Help! Help…”
“That’s right, Mortus Ranklin, we’ve beaten you! Now tell me where Penny and Mary have gone, or we’ll do that thing again, but even worse…”
With Mortus Ranklin finally defeated, Nathan, Beverly, and Jamison walked toward the edge of town. Ranklin’s directions had been vague, but it was a start, and Nathan was determined to walk the earth until he found the sisters.
Beverly looked back at the town where she’d grown up, the town where she’d spent her entire life, the town whose borders she’d never crossed. Could she really leave? Was she truly ready to embark upon this new adventure?
As she looked at Nathan, she felt that, yes, she was ready. But she also felt that it might be wise to at least do some cursory research on the current situation with the town’s residents before she fully committed to a course of action.
It turned out that the effect of Dr. Thompson’s tainted water was intense but brief, and everybody had recovered, and the apologies were flying fast and furious.
“I always had a crush on you,” Beverly told Nathan. “And being reunited after so long stirs up those old feelings. But this is my home, and it is where I must stay.”
Nathan nodded. “I understand.”
“We cannot be together, not when I’m eighteen and you’re seven. It would be sick and wrong. But when I’m twenty-nine and you’re eighteen, the morally repugnant element will disappear. So I promise you, Nathan Pepper, if you return for me in eleven years, I will divorce whoever I have married and we shall be husband and wife.”
“And I will return for you,” said Nathan.
Beverly gave him a soft kiss on the forehead. “Best of luck. I hope you find them.”
“Thank you.”
“For what it’s worth,” said Jamison, “I’d be happy to take on the role of the placeholder husband.”
“I appreciate and decline the offer.”
“I’ll accompany Nathan, then.”
And so they walked out of town.
“I’m glad you’re here with me,” said Nathan. “I’ve spent so much of my life alone. Granted, more than half of it was spent encased in a block of ice and I wasn’t truly aware of my loneliness, but still, it’s good of you to be my friend.”
“And it’s good of you to be mine, Nathan. Don’t worry. We’ll find them. I know we will.”
As they peered ahead into the great land that stretched before them, the way seemed long. But the sky was
