dared not ask questions and only found out that it must be his kisses and caresses that by some mysterious means create the baby.
About that time occurred an event, that in its consequences was of the greatest importance to me. My father, who had lived quite up to his income died leaving but a very small capital, scarcely sufficient to bring up his numerous young children and not at all sufficient to satisfy the exigencies of his young widow. As the eldest of my family I had to earn my own livelihood. My stepmother, who was of course desirous to get rid of me as soon as possible, endeavoured to get me a situation as nursery governess in the south of France.
The residence and family estate of the counts of Conpine is one of the finest old castles on the banks of the Rhone. On my arrival it was however not inhabited by its owner. It was restorated from cellar to roof, and to get rid of the noise and incommodities of the invading artisans and workmen he had made his abode in the adjoining farm or rather, he shut up his family in the farm, he himself being generally travelling or living at Paris. I arrived at the Castle in the middle of November. The farm was a long, low, very plain building with five or six dormant windows looking on the garden. The entry had five doors. The first to the left opened upon the count's two comfortable rooms or «office»; the second on a very narrow steep flight of stairs leading to the upper rooms; the two doors to the right opened upon a suite of drawing rooms, parlours amp;c, behind which was the manager's room, and upon the childrens, and two countess's bed and dressing rooms. In the background was the entrance of the dining room. The family consisted of the count, his wife, a poor creature paralysed at the age of twenty-eight; the old countess, two young children of seven and eight and a lady, formerly the companion of the young countess, but from the time she was overtaken by her illness, manager and the real mistress of the house. The count was hunting with some friends when I arrived, but returned some weeks later.
He was a vigorous, broad shouldered man of about forty. His black hair was rather thin on the temples but displayed no silver streaks; he wore a full dark-brown beard and had small vivid eyes, one of which was brown, the other half pale blue, half brown. Before the world he stuck strictly to etiquette and he could be very disagreeable even to his visitors, if they did not behave quite as he wished them to do; but in private with ladies every liberty and bawdiness was permitted.
When he had been at home for about two days, he ordered me to his rooms on the following morning at half past six. I trembled with anxiety; what was the matter? Had I committed any fault? Would he tell me to pack up my things and disappear as quick as possible. It would be dreadful, it I lost my good situation; 40? a year was much money for a girl of sixteen; what would my step mother say, if I was sent away. No, I would do my utmost to please the count.
Yet, my heart throbbed violently, when I entered the «office». The curtains were closely drawn, the lamps were lighted in both rooms, the fire crackled an bath hearths and a delicious breakfast table with all sorts of fresh pastry-work was laid in the inner room. The count offered me a cup of chocolate and then said he had noticed that I had a very pretty hand-writing and he wanted me to be his secretary for an hour or two in the morning before I went to the nursery. I answered with a bow, too embarrassed to get a word from my lips.
I was sitting on a small sofa behind the table. The count had seated himself beside me. I was then a rather pretty girl, though far from beautiful. My body was plump and round, my face, of very fair complexion, was surrounded by long hanging curls of a golden hue. The count began to play with my curls, saying how pretty they were, then his arm glided down to my waist and he clasped me gently to his breast. He put his right hand on my bosom, only covered by a light silk blouse-in the morning I wore no stays.-And felt and manipulated my bubbies in such a charming manner that my protestations became weaker and weaker. His lips sought mine, his tongue caressed the inside of my mouth. I had a great mind to return his endearments but was too bashful to do so. At last he asked me to give him my tongue and I opened my teeth and timidly began to lick his lips under his beard, but he forced the whole of his tongue into my mouth, working it in and out, as if it were his probably full stretched prick, and letting his cool saliva ooze slowly into my throat, compelling me to swallow it. Meanwhile his hands had continued to fondle my breasts; he had unbuttoned my dress and taken the whole of my firm little bubbies into his hand. Suddenly he bent down and cuddling his head between the folds of my blouse and shift took to suck and bite one of my nipples. I was overwhelmed by an unknown delicious sensation.
I could no longer return his caresses, my limbs fell languidly down and I felt myself as a heavy burden in his arms. He laid me down on the cushions and left me. I had spent for the first time in my life. After some minutes he called me to his writing table in the other room and began dictating a letter as if nothing had happened; we worked together for half an hour, then he told me to go to the children; he was expecting the house keeper. When I had my hand on the door handle he turned and called me back; he was sitting in his arm-chair before his writing table. I went up to him.
— We are friends? he said, taking my hand over his shoulder.
— Yes. I nodded.
— Then give me a kiss!
I obeyed, blushing.
When I entered the hall the dim grey daylight of an early November morning, made everything that had happened seem like an enchanted dream.
The next morning I found everything as on the first day. The count gave me a big kiss on entering and after breakfast called me to a lower and broader couch at the other side of the room. He took me in his arms and placed me at full length on the lounge, lying himself upon me. His body was rather heavy, but is endearments intoxicated me, so that I felt nothing but a vivid desire that this must last for ever. It was the first time I had yielded to a man's caresses and the experience was charming. He lavished his kisses and fondlings upon me as the previous day, till my right leg glided slowly aside and my foot fell languidly to the ground.
— Oh, you are coming, dear! Your spunk is flowing, he murmured.
I did not understand and looked inquiringly.
— You gave down your virgin spunk. You spent the very moment your body relaxed and your foot touched the ground.
I did not yet understand, having never heard the words spunk and spend, and I was too shy to ask for explanations.
We rose and set to work.
I had my bedroom just at the top of the stair-case. It was adjacent to that of the first housekeeper, but she occupied other stair, the whole of our loft being separated from that part of the house by a wooden wall turning to the left the whole loft lay open in all its length. So the left doors opened upon a big spare room for two and to the count's bed and dressing room, at the end of the loft was another spare room beside the school room.
That night I wrote a letter to my brother before going to bed. It was about midnight when I had finished and began to undress. When I had put on my nightgown and was brushing my hair before the dressing table I felt a draught from the door, which had been opened noiselessly and the count stood before me. He put his fingers upon his lips to prevent my screaming and shut the door as noiselessly as he had opened it.
— I could not sleep; my head is aching so and I longed to feel your hand on my forehead. Come quickly to bed. I am going to sleep with you.
I felt rather queer at the thought of sleeping with another person and especially with a man but made no objection. I had finished my hair and lay down in bed as near as possible to the wall. The count took off his dressing gown, jumped in bed and threw his arms around me, so that I came to lie close to him in the middle of the bed.
I put my hand on his forehead as he had said, he wanted me to do but he told me to pull up his shirt and move my hand up and down his spine. I was too ignorant to do well so he lifted up my nightgown and showed me, what he meant; his hands wandered over my whole naked body, caressing my thighs, buttocks and back; tickling me under the arms, fondling my bubbies and playing with the tiny curls on my mount venus. I tried to imitate whatever he did. His body was smooth and hairless, only around his diminutive nipples were some soft long hairs, his legs and arms were on the contrary very hairy, and between his thighs was quite a wood of long, soft curls. In unconscious consciousness I avoided to touch his member. Suddenly he got between my thighs and began titillating my button with the head of his prick. This made me quite wild. I wriggled and writhed my bottom trying to get away and yet directly returned to make him continue; my agitation became more and more violent, with heave I approached my body to his and his nut buried itself between the lips of my cunt. It thrilled me through and the electric touch of his prick made me send down a most copious discharge inundating his cockey, balls and belly and my own thighs with a torrent of boiling spunk. The sheet had become quite slicky and wet. But this only facilitated
