Lenk paused and looked up, eyes wide as he felt his blood go cold. Somewhere inside him, a chuckle slipped through his brain and slid down his spine on freezing legs.
‘
‘What?’
‘I said, not so talkative any more? No more questions?’
Lenk turned about, regarding the rogue standing behind him. Denaos flashed a grin as he stalked towards the young man, taking a seat beside him on the beach.
‘Any other inane enquiries about the female question? Perhaps you’d like to know where babies come from?’
Lenk regarded the taller man through eyes that suddenly felt heavy, as though he had just been deprived of a year’s worth of sleep in a breath. He pulled his knees up to his chest and stared out over the ocean.
‘No. I don’t want to talk any more.’
‘Oh? Did we run out of work to do?’ Denaos glanced down the beach where their vessel lay, its hole patched with conspicuous timber. ‘Not the best job, I admit, but hardly a reason to stop conversing. I was rather enjoying myself towards the end.’
‘I don’t want to talk-’
‘Then maybe you ought to listen.’ The rogue scratched his chin. ‘Frankly, I think I might have misjudged your chances with Kataria.’ At the young man’s worried look, he grinned. ‘There, I thought you might find that interesting. ’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Shocking.’ Denaos rolled his eyes. ‘Anyway, it strikes me that, if plays are any indicator, a great deal of romance tends to end in death. Suicide, frequently, or murder. . and if the script’s any good, sometimes both.’ The rogue shrugged. ‘Given your mutual professions, I think your chances for either are rather good. Violence, it seems, makes a fertile garden for love to blossom.’
‘Love. .’ Lenk repeated to himself, staring at his hands.
‘
‘Shut up,’ Lenk hissed.
‘No, no, hear me out,’ Denaos insisted. ‘Given that she’s a shict, I think the chances of her killing
‘You’ve. .’ Lenk began, glancing at the rogue, ‘been in love?’
‘I’ve been married.’
‘Same thing.’
‘Oh, Gods no.’ The rogue shook his head vigorously. ‘Marriage, you see, is an invention of man. It’s a trick in which you deceive someone into cleaning up after you when you’re too old to care whether you’re wearing pants when you piss. If it’s love. . true love, one of you dies before the other realises they hate you.’
‘
‘Stop,’ Lenk muttered.
‘Yes, I suppose it’s a little late for such quandaries, isn’t it?’ The rogue clapped the young man on the back as he clambered to his feet. ‘But I’m glad we had this talk. If nothing else, you can always buy your answers with your reward when we hand over the book.’
Denaos’s feet crunched upon the sand, leaving Lenk staring at his hands, straining not to blink, not to breathe. When the taller man’s footsteps were barely audible, the young man looked up and spoke to no one.
‘Who are you?’ he whispered. ‘What do you want?’
‘
‘I’m not the man to do it. Not if it means that she-’
‘
‘How do I get rid of you? How?’
‘
‘What do you do,’ he muttered, ‘when you want to be with someone. . but you want to kill yourself?’
‘Ah,’ the rogue called, distantly, ‘that’s most definitely love.’
There was nothing left.
The stench of blood and cowardice, the reek of smoke and salt, the foul aromas of humanity and weakness were all vanished. Even the air hung still, carrying no scent of moisture rising from the earth or breath hissing from the trees. The world was as it was intended to be, free from all imperfect stenches.
All that remained was Gariath and the scent of rivers and rocks.
His legs felt weak underneath him as he pushed his way delicately through the jungle, following the memory’s trail. His wounds had since begun to heal, the burned flesh peeling off and the cuts scabbing over. It was something else that made him hesitant, made him wary of continuing, a sensation he hadn’t been able to smell through the stench of his own anger and the sheets of blood that he covered himself with.
His knees were soft as they had been when he first learned to hunt alongside his father. His bowels quivered with excitement as they had when he tasted the meat of his first prey. His chest trembled and felt as shallow as it had when he first mated. His arms felt weighted and weak as they had when he first held two wailing pups in his grasp, when he first learned he was a father.
That, all of it, was gone now. Only Gariath was left, of his family, of the
Fear.
It was a foul emotion, Gariath thought, anger was much better. Within anger there was certainty, there was predictability, and he always knew how everything would end. Within fear, there was nothing. There was nothing to expect and nothing to keep hope from spawning inside him.
Hope died. Anger lived.
But it was with hope that he walked, following the scent as it wound its way through the jungle paths and into the heart of the forest where no one but he was meant to go. The spirits let him pass, drawing back their fronds and branches, leaving their rocks and roots out of his path, chasing the noisy beasts and birds from their crowns that he might hear.
Hear and smell.
The scent became overwhelming as he placed a claw upon the thick, leafy branch. The last branch, he realised, before he faced what lay upon the other side. It would be better to go back now, he knew, to go back to the certainty of anger and the predictability of bloodshed. It would be better to go back, safe in the knowledge that there were no more
It would be better to forget that he might have ever hoped.
But, still, he pushed past the branch.
The glade greeted him with the murmur of a stream and the gentle hum of sunlight peering through the branches. The earth was moist, but hard and green under his feet. It pressed against his soles affectionately, as if it were welcoming him back after a journey so long only the earth could remember him.
It knew his feet.
The water greeted him eagerly, lapping up to his waist as he waded through the shallow stream towards the verdant chunk of earth in the centre of it. It giggled, laughed and jumped up to grab at him, trying to invite him to swim as he had once before, before he had known what anger was.
The water knew him.
He reached down, leaving a hand in the stream as if to assure it that he would be back before too long. He