began to read.
Today was a bad day. I had another one. It was horrible. I threw up all over the place, and I hit the back of my head on my brother’s mouth.
It was Sasha’s! He knew he should stop reading, but couldn’t seem to bring himself to. He remembered that episode, Sasha writhing on the ground while he’d tried to hold her. He felt his lips where the back of her head had hit. He didn’t know he was bleeding at first; his mother was the one to see. By the end of the episode his face and chest were covered with his own blood and he’d cut his face on the ground. He read on:
I can’t remember what happened. I almost never do, but he was covered in blood when I came to. Oh I hate this! I’m a monster! He’s so big and I still hurt him. I feel so bad. If it wasn’t for my brother I don’t know what I would do. The people in town are right, I’m cursed, I’m a demon, and when Legon leaves the queen will take me. I’m so scared. A lady in town told me that they will make me a whore and give me to the queen’s men for their pleasure. Maybe I deserve it for being a freak. I mean look at me, I can’t make a living, I’m a burden on my family… at least when I’m gone my family can have their lives back again and…
He stopped reading. The string holding his emotions broke. Now his problems seemed not to matter. He thought back on what just crossed his mind, how selfish he’d been, how… he felt an odd flash of heat and without warning his stomach turned. He tossed the book aside and began to throw up on the grass. He felt more heat, saw blue spots, and then nothing.
Legon’s eyes opened and he felt his head pounding. He raised himself up on his hands and saw a pool of semi-dry vomit in front of him. He must have been out for a few hours.
He wondered what time it was. He got up and walked to the book and picked it up, but something was off… what was it? He took an inventory and it hit him — he didn’t have a torch, candle, or anything else to make light. The sky was still covered in clouds, so he shouldn’t be able to see the ground at his feet, but he could.
Legon swept his gaze out to where the town was. He gasped. It was there right in front of him. Just a hazy outline, but it was there. He began to feel uneasy. Maybe there was something wrong with him. He began back toward his house through the woods that were dark to all but him.
He got home in near record time. When he walked in his family was sitting at the table talking to one another. They started when he came in and his mother stood up a bit.
He walked into the now silent room and handed the book to Sasha.
“I was on top of the hill and this was in a bush. When I saw it was hand written I closed it… it’s probably a diary or something. Maybe you know whose it is?”
She took it and opened the cover. Her eyes widened a bit and then relaxed. She got up and hugged him. “Thank you. I was worried sick looking for this thing. Thank you, Legon!” She kissed his cheek and dashed up to her room.
He thought about what he was thinking earlier and a voice came unbidden into his head: You don’t deserve that, you bastard; you don’t deserve her in your life at all.
He began to walk to the stairs when Edis’s voice called him back. “Come and sit down son.” Legon turned and sat.
“Your mother told me about today, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry for not being honest with you and… if you want to talk about it, we’re here.”
There you go giving aid and concern to someone you should have left in the broken house, someone who doesn’t deserve it.
“I know you are, and I know you just wanted me to be happy and have a normal life. I’m fine, but I have a headache and I need to go to bed.”
He stood and walked up the stairs straight to his room. He could see that Sasha’s door was closed and he was thankful. He didn’t care to talk to her right now; he was still feeling guilty about his desire to leave the family to their own devices and save his own neck.
He peeled off his clothes as he entered his room and flopped onto his bed. He felt so tired and his head was pounding. He laid his head on his pillow and felt himself begin to drift off to sleep. He hadn’t even take the time to close his bedroom door.
He wanted to sleep but he was cold and his bed felt hard. He rolled over and opened his eyes. To his surprise he realized he was on the ground, on the ground outside. He stood up and looked around. The ground that he was on was just dirt and rocks. He was in mist and couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of him. This felt familiar but somehow unfamiliar at the same time. He must be dreaming; this place had that feel about it. He began to walk and realized that he had a dream like this not too long ago. “Odd. How come I couldn’t remember it before?” he thought.
The last time he was in a field when… “there was a dragon” he thought. Legon went rigid. This may have been a dream, but he still didn’t want to deal with a dragon.
He heard the sound of moving rocks, which didn’t help his feeling of foreboding. He began to pick up his pace a bit, looking for a place to hide until the mist cleared. He felt his lungs burn and he moved faster. Before he knew it he was in the field by the sea from the last dream.
But in this dream the air was thin. He knew that he must be up high, perhaps on a mountain top, and that this mist was probably a cloud. So was he by the sea or wasn’t he? It seemed like he was in both places, high on a mountain and by the sea. Suddenly from behind him there came a resounding “thud.” He moved faster, feeling his legs begin to burn. “Thud.” This time it was above his head. ”Thud.” Right in front of him. The sound of claws sinking into earth and breaking rock filled the air. He skidded to a halt as he saw a huge shadow rise in the mist ahead of him.
The mist parted and he tried to scream, but his voice wouldn’t respond. In front of him was a hulking black dragon with scales the color of coal, seeming to absorb the light. Its giant claws looked to be made of solid gold. Long flat plates crossed its chest at the bottom of its long, snake-like neck. At the top of the neck and more than forty feet off the ground was its head. It was triangular with two golden horns that swept back, and when the dragon breathed out, orange circlets appeared in the nostrils. Two long teeth that looked like they were made of pearl jutted from the top of the mouth.
A row of gold spikes ran down its back and tail. The thing that scared Legon the most were the eyes. They were as large as serving platters and were blood red. Everything on the dragon seemed to leech the light from the world, but not the eyes. They glowed with a cruel intensity, and they were looking at him.
Not only could he not scream, but he felt like his feet were planted in the rocky ground. It was stupid not to run, but he couldn’t. He was going to die and there was nothing he could do to stop it. As this realization came, his fear subsided and was replaced by remorse. He was sorry that he had wanted to leave his family, sorry he couldn’t be there for Sasha and sorry he hadn’t been a better brother and son.
The ground shook as a growl came from the black dragon and a deep growling voice filled his head. “You are mine!” Then the dragon opened it huge jaws. Legon didn’t even have time to register the gaping mouth flying toward him.
Pain erupted in his head as once again he snapped up, hitting the ceiling by his bed, but this time the pain was welcome. Welcome because only the living felt pain, not people who had just been eaten by a dragon. He still hadn’t opened his eyes he didn’t want to, just on the chance that it hadn’t been a dream. He felt cold clammy hands on his neck and face.
“You’re ok, Legon. It was just a dream, you’re ok.” The voice was Sasha’s.
He opened his eyes to see her in her nightgown, looking terrified. He must have been talking in his sleep or making some other noise. His heart was racing and he was covered in icy cold sweat. He started to shiver uncontrollably. Sasha sat behind him and wrapped her arm tight around him, the same way he would do to her when she was having an episode. Her hands began to warm as her fear subsided. The warmth was most welcome. He didn’t feel worthy of the love and comfort, but he took it anyway. Warmth began to make its way through him as his ragged breath slowed and heart calmed.
His voice was slower to respond and he began to stammer, “I’m… I’m his… he’s going to get me… I, I…”
“It’s ok, it’s ok, it was just a dream, you’re fine. No one is going to get you.” Her voice was calm and reassuring as she stroked his hair. He leaned back against her and forced his body to relax.
“I was on a mountain and…”
“Not tonight. You can tell me in the morning. Now relax.”
