GWENDOLEN
Are there many interesting walks in the vicinity, Miss Cardew?
CECILY
Oh! yes! a great many. From the top of one of the hills quite close one can see five counties.
GWENDOLEN
Five counties! I don't think I should like that. I hate crowds.
CECILY [Sweetly.] I suppose that is why you five in town? [GWENDOLEN bites her lip, and beats her foot nervously with her parasol.]
GWENDOLEN [Looking round.] Quite a well-kept garden this is, Miss Cardew. CECILY
So glad you like it, Miss Fairfax.
GWENDOLEN
I had no idea there were any flowers in the country.
CECILY
Oh, flowers are as common here, Miss Fairfax, as people are in
London.
GWENDOLEN
Personally I cannot understand how anybody manages to exist
in the country, if anybody who is anybody does. The country always bores
me to death.
CECILY
Ah! This is what the newspapers call agricultural depression, is it not?
I believe the aristocracy are suffering very much from it just at present.4 It
is almost an epidemic amongst them, I have been told. May I offer you some
tea, Miss Fairfax? GWENDOLEN [With elaborate politeness.] Thank you. [Aside.] Detestable girl!
But I require tea! CECILY [Sweetly.] Sugar? GWENDOLEN [Superciliously.] No, thank you. Sugar is not fashionable any
more, [CECILY looks angrily at her, takes up the tongs and puts four lumps of
sugar into the cup. ] CECILY [Severely.] Cake or bread and butter? GWENDOLEN [In a bored manner. J Bread and butter, please. Cake is rarely
seen at the best houses nowadays. CECILY [Cuts a very large slice of cake, and puts it on the tray.] Hand that to Miss Fairfax.
[MERRIMAN does so, and goes out with footman. GWENDOLEN drinks the tea and makes a grimace. Puts down cup at once, reaches out her hand to the bread and butter, looks at it, and finds it is cake. Rises in indignation. ]
GWENDOLEN
You have filled my tea with lumps of sugar, and though I asked
most distinctly for bread and butter, you have given me cake. I am known
for the gentleness of my disposition, and the extraordinary sweetness of my
nature, but I warn you, Miss Cardew, you may go too far. CECILY [Rising.] To save my poor, innocent, trusting boy from the machinations of any other girl there are no lengths to which I would not go.
4. From the 1870s on, landowners (including aristocrats) had been suffering severe losses because of adverse economic conditions.
.
1 1728 / OSCAR WILDE
GWENDOLEN
From the moment I saw you I distrusted you. I felt that you
were false and deceitful. I am never deceived in such matters. My first
impressions of people are invariably right.
CECILY
It seems to me, Miss Fairfax, that I am trespassing on your valuable
time. No doubt you have many other calls of a similar character to make in
the neighborhood.
[Enter JACK.] GWENDOLEN [Catching sight of him.] Ernest! My own Ernest! JACK Gwendolen! Darling! [Offers to kiss her.] GWENDOLEN [Drawing hack.] A moment! May I ask if you are engaged to be
