The Only Neat Thing to Do

look at it; it's not happy-looking like our demo teams back at school. Huh… I don't think they know what to do, exactly. …Their faces look crazy; why, one of them has his mouth open like he was yelling or screaming. They look terrible. …Whoever's listening to this, I'm sorry. I hope I'm not saying anything bad. But this is weird, it's like ugly. …They have to stop soon, I hope. Oh, no—' Her voice is shaking on the verge of some kind of outcry.

'Oh, oh, oh—' But it's the other voice that begins sobbing frankly now. The recorder blurs in a confusion of, 'Syl! What's the matter? What's wrong?' and 'Oh, I was afraid, oh, I'm afraid, oh, Coati, it's terrible—'

'Yeah, it's ugly. That's not the way Humans really mate, Syl.'

'No,' says Syl's tones, 'I don't mean that. I mean we — oh, oh—' And she's sobbing again.

'Listen, Syl!' Coati gulps back alien tears, cuts her off. 'I think you know something you aren't telling me! You tell me what's frightening you this instant, or I'll— I'll bash my own brains so hard it'll shake you loose. See?'

There's the sound of a hard slap on flesh, and then a sudden sharp outcry.

'Hey — what—you hurt me, Syl. I th-thought you never—'

'Oh, I'm sorry,' the alien voice moans. 'I p-panicked when you said you would harm yourself—'

'Or harm you, huh? Look, I can stand a lot of pain if I have to. You tell me right now what's got into those men. Look, they've collapsed again. Tell me!'

'It — it's the young ones.'

'The young what?'

'The young Eea — from s-seeds in th-the ship.'

'But you said there were grown-up Eea in each of the men. Didn't they keep the seeds off, like you did for me?'

'They— Oh, Coati, I told you, they were very old. They must have died, and the seeds went into the men. I saw them getting feeble. That's when I got frightened and I left. Before the Humans went in cold-sleep. …Oh, Coati, it's so horrible — I feel so bad—'

'Hush up now, Syl, and let me understand. What could seeds do?'

'Seeds hatch, when they're in — they hatched into young ones. With no mentors, no one to train them, they're like wild animals. They grow. They eat — they eat anything. And then in the cold-sleep, some of them must have matured. No teachers, no one to teach them discipline. Oh, the others should have known the seeds and spores would seek hosts, they should have seen that those visitors who went with them were too old. B-but nobody knew how long, how far. …When I began to understand how long a time it was going to be, I knew something bad would happen. And I c-couldn't do anything; they wouldn't listen to me. So I–I ran away.' The alien is convulsing Coati with sobs.

'Well-ll….' Long sigh from Coati. 'Oh, dear gods, the poor men. You mean the young ones just ate their brains out?'

'Y-yes, I fear so. As if they were Dron. Worse, because no teachers.'

'And that sex stuff — that was the mature ones making them do it?'

'Yes! Oh, yes! Like wild animals. We're taught strictly to control it; we're shown. It takes much training to be fully Eea. Even I am not fully trained. …Oh, I wish I'd died there in space instead of seeing this—'

'Oh, no. Brace up, Syl. It's not your fault. Nobody who isn't used to space could grasp how long the distances are. They probably thought it would be like a long trip in your country… Oh, look — the men have gotten up. God, they're holding each other up; their legs keep going out of control. Motor centers gone, maybe. They're going — they went up the path north; only it wasn't a path then. They're making the path, trampling. …That's where we go, Syl, unless this shows them coming back. It'll have to be soon; we're almost at where the camera stopped. I wish I knew how long ago this was. The sun looks kind of different, and the colors of the vegetation, but that could be the camera. I'm going to speed up. Syl, stop crying, honey; it's not your fault.'

Rapid clicking from the recorder.

'Nothing, nothing,' Coati's voice says. 'Still nothing. I doubt they came back. Nothing — wait, what's that? Oh, my goodness, it's the wake — it's our ship landing. Well! I don't think I want to see us, do you? Let's take out this cassette and go.'

Click.

In the executive office the deputy stops the recorder for a moment.

'Is that clear to everyone?'

Grunts of assent answer him.

'I think this casts a new light on the potentials of Coati's little friend's race,' the medical officer says. 'I suggest that we all keep a sharp eye open for anything that looks like grains of yellow powder, in case the young woman's heat treatment did not completely clean out this pipe. Or the preceding one. Her initial precautions were very wise.'

Before he's finished speaking, Exec has turned on stronger lights. There is a subdued shuffling as people look themselves over, brushing at imaginary golden spots.

'Gods, if a pipeful of that stuff had got loose in here, and nobody warned!' Zenology mutters. 'H'mm …Boney and Ko.'

'Yes,' Exec understands Xenology's shorthand. 'If we get any indication that their ship lifted off, we have some hard decisions to make. I gather the seeds can affix themselves to the outside of space vessels, too. Well, we'd best continue and see what our problem is.'

'Right.' The deputy douses the top light, restarts the 'corder.

'We are now proceeding north on the trail left by Boney and Ko,' says Coati's voice. 'We've come about five kiloms. The trail is very plain because the vegetation, or whatever this is, is very delicate and frail. I don't think it's built to have animals walk over it to graze. But the trail isn't all that fresh, because there're little tips of new growth. We haven't seen any animals or birds, only plant-like things and an occasional insect going by fast, like a bullet. It's a pretty cold, quiet, weird place. The ground is almost level, but I think we're headed roughly for one of those lakes we saw from above.

'Syllobene is so shook up by what happened to the men that she won't talk much. I keep trying to tell her it's not her fault. One thing she said shows you — she said the grown-up Eea must have assumed that we could make ourselves immune to the seeds, just as they can, since we're so complete. They can't get used to the idea of whole, single animals born that way. And the ship… we had so many wild, powerful things. It never occurred to them that the men would be as vulnerable as the Dron. …Syl, do you hear what I'm telling my people? Nobody's going to think for a minim that you're at fault. Please brace up, honey, it's awfully lonesome here on this primordial tundra or whatever it is.'

'… After you saved my life,' murmurs the Syllobene voice sadly.

'Oh-h-h! Listen, hey — Syl, you saved my life, too, for the lords' sake. Don't you realize?'

'I? How?'

'By being on that message pipe, dopus. It was full of seeds, remember? If you hadn't been there, at the risk of your life, if you hadn't been there to keep them off me, I'd have gone just like Boney and Ko. They'd have eaten my brains out. Now will you cheer up? You've personally saved my life, too. Hey, Syl, how about that? Hello!'

'Hello. oh, dear Coati Cass—'

'That's my Syl. Listen, I've about had the hiking for today; these boots aren't the greatest. I see a little hummock ahead; maybe it's drier. I'll tramp down a flat place and lay out my bag and screen — I don't want one of those bullet-bugs to hit me. I don't think this sun is going to set, either: it must be summer up here, with a big axial tilt.' She chuckles. 'I've heard of the lands of the midnight sun! Now I've seen one. This is Coati Cass, en route to I don't know where, signing off.'

'Your daughter is a remarkable young woman, Myr Cass,' Exec says thoughtfully. Cass grunts. Looking more carefully at him, Exec sees that Cass's eyes are wet.

The record continues with a few words by Coati on awakening. Apparently she — they — have slept undisturbed.

'Green, on we go. Now, Syl, I hope you feel better. Think of me, having to lug a Weeping Willie — that means a sad lump of a person — all over the face of this godlost planet. Hey, don't you know any songs? I'd really like that!'

'Songs?'