drinks from Bert, the bartender, and while they were being brought I heard one of the farmers in the vicinity speaking to a group around him.
“I guess Gracie’s ears were burnin’ today.”
“If the hellfires haven’t burned her first.”
Again I wondered what Grace Everdeen had done to merit such general censure.
Robert was speaking to Amys: “I was telling our friend here about the chain dances on Kindling Night.”
“Kindling Night.” Amys used the spittoon. “Crazy notion. They been doin’ them fool dances ever since I can recollect.” Like the Ancient Mariner, he seemed to compel me with his glittering eye. “You stop around here long enough, you’ll see lots of things.”
I sipped my drink, my head bent slightly so I could see off across the Common. Tamar Penrose was still in the post office doorway. “Why does the post office have such a large chimney?”
Amys took his face out of his beer mug. “Hell, that ain’t been the P.O. for no time a’tall. Used to be the old forge barn to the Gwydeon Penrose place, over there where I live.” He pushed his hat back, leaned his elbows on the bar, and ground some peanuts between his bony jaws. “Cagey feller, old Gwydeon. Once, during an Indian attack, he barricaded himself and his family inside that forge. Them Indians tried to burn him out, but he’d built the place of stone, so fire wouldn’t touch nothin’ but the door. When the Indians finally got in, all ready for scalpin’, they wa’n’t there. Foxy old Gwydeon’d dug a tunnel months before, and he got out and his whole family, too. ‘Course, the forge ain’t been a forge for years. After the Revolution, the barn was sold and it became a general store; then we got the P.O.”
“Tell me another thing, Amys,” I said. “Is it true what they say about Missy Penrose?”
The bell ringer’s brows darkened and his mouth curled sourly. “Depends on what they say, son.”
“I was talking about her freckles. Do they form a constellation?”
“There’s fools aplenty ‘round here who’ll believe anything you tell ‘em. If they care to think that whatnot child’s got the evil eye-why, then, I guess she’s got the evil eye. ‘Cept I’d put my money on the mother, not the daughter.”
“Easy, now, Amys,” Robert said soothingly.
Amys drew himself up and pounded on the bar. “Listen, if it comes to that, you tell me why the Reverend takes after a dear soul like Gracie, and never points a finger at the likes of
“Never a gooder girl than Grace Everdeen, and for her sins she comes to grief, while that one, no better than she ought to be, is your fancy miss post office lady. And blast Roger Penrose, who couldn’t tell the gilt from the gingerbread.” His voice had risen to an angry quaver, and heads in the vicinity swiveled to stare at the old man. “Never mind, around here you can’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs.”
“Easy, now,” Robert repeated. To change the subject, I inquired if there were any boats on the river available for rowing. The old man confided that he kept one in a particular spot, and said I might borrow it anytime, a snug craft that needed no bailin’. He thanked Robert for the beer and left, and when we had paid the tab we stepped outside to find the peddler’s rig drawn up at the roadside, where Jack Stump was exhibiting for a gathering the identical one-of-a-kind piece of cheap beadwork he had purveyed to Betsey Cox in front of the church. “Sunday special, ladies,” he began, “a chunk of gen-u-wine Victorian, that’s whatcha got here. Victorian, ladies, which means it’s practically a antique, if you figure by years, because anything that’s Victorian means it goes back to before Columbus discovered America.”
The crowd laughed and someone called out, “Tell us, Jack Stump, what came before Victorian?”
“Before Victorian you had your Dark Ages, which was when them fearsome Tartars come across the steppes of Russia and tried to rule the world. But they used the back steps so they wouldn’t get caught.” Jack wheezed at his joke.
“And what came before that, Jack?” Robert called good-naturedly.
“Hell, Professor, you orta know. You had your religious age, when Martin Luther spiked his thesis to his front door.”
“Who was Martin Luther?” a voice demanded.
“Why, Martin Luther was a Lutheran. That’s what it means, a Lutheran is someone named Luther.”
“My name’s Luther, and I ain’t no Lutheran,” said one of the Soakes boys, lolling in the tavern doorway, a can of beer in his hand.
Jack chose to ignore him. “And Martin Luther told folks the Pope was nothin’ but a greedy cuss and any Christian worth his salt ought to show them roguey priests the door. Said Cath’lickism was nothing but organized crime, and folk shouldn’t have no more to do with ‘em.”
“Ain’t no Cath’lics this side of the river,” called someone in the crowd.
“I heard that, Grandmaw,” Luther said. “Ain’t no call to talk that way.”
“Ain’t no call for some folks to be off their own side of the river,” replied another.
Roy Soakes, the defeated wrestler, stepped out. “We come and go as we please. We don’t want no trouble.”
Jack Stump tossed the beads aside and out flew another drawer. “Soap, soap, ladies? Pretty little balls, shaped just like a pineapple, mighty pretty for the bathroom-no? Whatcha say, Sophie? Justin? How’s married life treatin’ you? Honey, if you’re lookin’ for a new dress for the huskin’ bee, I got some mighty lofty goods.” He snatched a bolt of fabric from a shelf. “You’d have to go some to find a dress pretty as this here’d make.” He unrolled the bolt partway and offered it to Sophie, draping the end of it over her shoulder. “And here’s needle and thread, pins galore, if you’ve a mind to do your own sewin’.”
“Use ‘em yourself, old man,” Roy said. “Use ‘em to zip your lip.”
Jack put on a knowing expression as he returned the stare. “Well,” he retorted slyly, “maybe I orta zip, ‘cause if I didn’t I bet I could tell of some might’ funny doin’s in them woods.”
“Peddler, mind your business,” Old Man Soakes said, shoving Luther out of the way and taking up a hulking stance in the doorframe. His voice had a hollow boom that silenced general comment as he pointed his finger at Jack. “Them woods is private property. That land is been Soakes land since before the first Continental Congress and it’s Soakes land to this day. We don’t like trespassers.”
“Ain’t your land,” someone said. “It’s ours. We’re corn, you’re tobacco.”
“‘Tain’t called Soakes’s Lonesome for nothin’,” the old man maintained stolidly. He turned to Jack again. “You’ve had your warnin’.”
“You don’t scare me,” the peddler retorted.
Roy’s look was murderous as he shook up his beer can and tossed it at the cart, sending wet foam in all directions. Jack danced around in a circle, holding out the bolt of cloth. “Lookee-you splattered all over! What d’you want to do a thing like that for? Maybe you fellows need for me to call the police?”
“You do that, peddler,” Old Man Soakes said darkly.
Roy laughed. “Don’t recall they got police over here. Cornwall Coombe must be gettin’ all the latest conveniences.”
Luther sauntered behind the peddler and bent down on all fours, and Roy gave Jack a shove that sent him tumbling in the dust. He scrambled away with a crab-like movement, then shouted as Roy skidded under the rig and lifted his back against the undercarriage to tip it over.
In a flash, Justin Hooke was on him, arms around his waist and yanking him from beneath the cart. Roy rose, then swung, knocking the farmer on the side of his head as three of his brothers lunged out the tavern door and joined in the attack. Jack Stump took several brutal blows in succession, which dropped him to the roadway. When he cried out, I sprang forward, grabbed Luther, and sent him reeling. Roy came at me and I threw two quick jabs, following them up with a heavy blow to the gut. Justin, meantime, had recovered himself and now ran to put his back against mine, waiting for the others to rise.
Even at double the odds, it was no contest. No sooner would one get up and step in for a swing than he would be knocked down again.
I grinned over my shoulder. “I didn’t know country boys knew how to use their fists.” Justin swung again; Luther took his third tumble. “This country boy does!” Justin was enjoying the fight.
Not so Jack Stump, who had taken a merciless beating. He lay in the dust struggling to get up, and as Old Man Soakes raised a foot to roll him over, a figure like a dark avenging angel confronted him.
“Give over, Mr. Soakes!” commanded the Widow Fortune, standing before him, her face hot and angry.
