must be something about her he could smell. In some way she must be advertising herself like a bitch in heat, and that embarrassed her further. Still, she briefly entertained the idea. He was a total stranger, and maybe that was just what she needed at the moment like this, someone she would never see again, someone she had never seen before, who she could take upstairs with her. The guilt, the shame, the betrayal, the humiliation that she felt, maybe they could all be blasted out of her by taking this cab driver with the vicious mouth up to her apartment with her and inviting him to do anything he liked to her. Preferably something sweetly brutal, something tenderly cruel, the way Eric had screwed Danika in the ass. Did that make sense?
She didn't know, but the mere thought made her shiver. She glanced at the cabbie's eyes in the mirror and knew she couldn't go through with it. For one thing, he was too handsome, and the slight hint she gave that she might be interested in him had made his body take on a kind of aggressive magnetism that attracted her so powerfully, she feared that neither of them might be able to settle for the sort of one-shot shipsin-the-night blistering fuck she had in mind. No, she needed someone far more repulsive, someone who would scour her clean of these crazy compulsions, someone who could cleanse her of these consuming guilts entirely by taking her to the very bottom of them and rubbing her face in the foulest dirt, so that she might never have to go back there again.
Still, the way he kept looking at her gave her goose-bumps. His dark bold eyes riveted hers in the mirror for such long periods that she was afraid he might have a wreck. And Fawn herself was aware suddenly that her mouth was half-open, and she had placed the tip of her tongue against the ridge of her upper teeth as she stared back murkily at him.
Her eyes were saying to him, You can fuck me if you want to, and she knew her body was saying it too, it was smoking with invitations that only a stone could have failed to notice.
During the moments when he took his eyes away from hers to watch the traffic, she tried deliberately not to glance up at his name and picture on the cab license that was fastened to the sunvisor. She didn't want to know his name, she wanted him to be totally anonymous.
She also wanted him to make the first advance. She was willing to provoke him as much as possible, and she knew by now, as the cab drew closer and closer to her apartment, that she would not let him get away without making it plain to him what she wanted; but she didn't want to be explicitly brazen about it.
Finally he pulled the cab up in front of her building and shut off the motor. They still had not spoken a word to one another. Fawn stared at him in the mirror, making no effort to get out. He turned his head and glared at her over his shoulder. 'Isn't this it?' he said, staring suggestively first at her mouth, then down at her loose breasts that rose and fell in her excitement beneath her thin blouse. She had dressed in such a hurry when leaving Eric's and Danika's house that she had merely stuffed her bra in her handbag.
When she said nothing, but simply stared at him, her eyes again saying, Fuck me, fuck me, you can fuck me, you can fuck me, he repeated softly,
'Isn't this it?'
'Do you have some place you can take me?' she whispered, trying not to sound nervous or uncertain, half- angry at him for forcing her to begin it.
His cruel sarcastic mouth that gave her delicious shivers twisted into a mocking grin of appraisal, and his eyes drifted again down to the visible bumps her nipples made in the fabric of her blouse. 'That depends on where you want to go,' he grinned, staring boldly at her breasts.
'I want to go crazy,' she whispered. She shifted her shoulders slightly so that the firm out-thrusting globes swayed beneath the cloth.
'What kind of crazy do you want to go?'
'I'll bet you can figure that out.'
His eyes came back up to her face, menacing, slightly threatening, but still flickering with sarcasm. 'Why don't you tell me,' he said, his voice deep, hoarse, deadly serious.
He sounded so rough and brutal that for a moment she winced with fear of him. What am I doing? What am I doing? a whirling, reeling voice in her head asked over and over. But at the same time his rough, daring manner excited and even thrilled her. 'Because you already know,' she said, terrified of herself and what she was doing, but unable to resist the excitement of the moment.
Suddenly he reached out a hand across the seat and ran two rough callused fingers along her cheek. His dark eyes were hot and smoky.
'But I want to hear it from you.'
Fawn's whole body trembled at the feel of his gnarled fingers against her cheek. 'I… I…' she stammered, unable to say anything else, glancing down at her shaking fingers.
Still caressing her face, her chin, her forehead, her other cheek, running his thick bony knuckle across her quivering lips, he spoke softly. 'Is it hard?'
Struck by his words, she giggled shyly and looked up from her nervous hands, staring straight into his bold eyes. 'I don't know, is it?' she said.
He smiled back at her and slowly nodded. His hand slid down from her face to her neck, her throat, down her chest to the top buttons of her blouse. Quickly he unbuttoned the first two, still hotly riveting her eyes with his own, and slipped his hand under the cloth, clasping one of her breasts and scissoring the tender swollen nipple with two roughskinned fingers. Fawn gasped. 'I can't take you anywhere,' he whispered, fondling and squeezing her warm, aching breast with his hand. 'It's like kidnapping, and rape, if you change your mind later.'
'I won't,' she breathed, closing her eyes briefly and pushing her body forward, mashing her tingly breast into his rough hand.
'Why not here?' he said, indicating her own apartment building with his head.
'I have a roommate,' she said. His hands roamed curiously over her breasts, squeezing and cupping them, pulling the long thick nipples, rolling them in his fingers. She shut her eyes and clenched her teeth, enjoying the wonderful feel of it. But she knew they couldn't just sit here in the cab doing this. Someone would see them.
'Maybe she's not home,' he said. Now her nipples were erect and rubbery, and he gently pinched each one, drawing new gasps of pleasure from her. 'Why don't you go up and check?'
Fawn bit her lower lip and nodded. Oh god, she prayed, don't be home, Kelley! She didn't even want him to take his hand off her body long enough for her to go upstairs and check. And she was also seized by a small panic, the fear that he would not stay, not wait for her return.
'Come with me?' she said in a small voice. 'Can you leave the cab?'
'For you,' he chuckled softly. 'For you I can do anything.'
For some reason, the word 'anything' made Fawn's blood boil and race, made her cunt gush and throb. Oh god, if Kelley was home, what would she do!
She waited while he parked the cab in a relatively secluded spot. Then she rebuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse, and took him upstairs with her to the apartment. They went inside. Kelley was not home. On the coffee table was a note she had left. Fawn began to think, as she read the note, that fate must be real after all, that fortune somehow must have conspired to make this moment possible. For Kelley had gone to the mountains for the weekend with a new boy friend; she would not be back till Monday.
Fawn turned to the cab driver, who stood with his thick meaty hands hanging at his side, grinning at her as broadly as ever, while she read the note. 'She… she won't be back tonight,' she half-whispered, her voice choked up with fear and excitement.
She didn't dare tell him how long Kelley would be gone, as if somehow that would make her even more vulnerable to him than she had already made herself. Now, as she looked at him in the light, she found him more attractive and more terrifying, both at the same time, than she had earlier. He had a powerful, muscular, working man's body, with strong hairy forearms, and thick humps of muscle in his shoulders. His jaw was large and sharp, his dark eyes glittery now with obvious lust for her, his teeth strong and white and even as he grinned sarcastically, half-menacingly, at her. She both wanted him and feared him, and the combination of the two made her absolutely sizzle and smolder with contradictory feelings.
She went back to the front door and this time fastened both the chain and the bolt lock, so that nothing like her interruption of Kelley and Danika could happen. She knew it couldn't, if Kelley was in the mountains, but somehow she had to be as secure as possible. She had no idea what she and the cab driver would get involved in, but she had a feeling, a dangerous, thrilling feeling, that it wouldn't be something she would like anyone else ever to know about. She turned her face back to him, smiling nervously.
