anyhow. Not yet, I haven’t.”
“How’s she doing with Kelly?”
“I haven’t told her to take her show on the road yet,” Colin repeated. “Louise, I’ll write you the darn check, okay?” The line went dead.
She put the phone back in her purse. Yes, that
James Henry chose that exact moment to look up from his own mayhem. The Duplos and cars had turned into something very much like a demolition-derby course. “Mommy?” he said.
“What is it, dear?”
“How come you were talking to Uncle Colin?” That was what James Henry called him. It wasn’t accurate, but there was no accurate name for what Colin was to James Henry: nothing shorter than
“How do you know I was?” Louise answered one question with another.
“’Cause you were talking about money.”
“Oh.” That was more a sound of pain than a word. He was big enough to notice what was going on around him, all right.
Too many questions there, and all of them too pointed. Louise had always believed in being straight with children. She did her best now: “He’s going to loan me some money. Do you know what
“You have to give it back?” Her son sounded doubtful.
Louise nodded. “That’s right. When I get some more of my own and I can afford to, I’ll pay it back.” She believed it when she said it. No, this wasn’t the first time she’d had to hit Colin up. She didn’t like to think about paying it all back. . and so, most of the time, she didn’t.
James Henry found another question with sharp teeth: “How come Marshall doesn’t come around and watch me any more? He’s silly!”
“He is silly,” Louise agreed. “He doesn’t watch you so much any more because he did that while I went to my job. I haven’t been able to do that for a while now.”
“Why?” James Henry asked-the little kid’s favorite comeback.
“Because the company I worked for wasn’t making as much money as it wanted to, and so it didn’t need as many people as it had before. And I was one of the ones it let go.”
“Why?” he asked again.
“I don’t know,” Louise answered, which was the Lord’s truth. How much of all this he understood was liable to be a different question altogether. Talking about money with a preschooler was much too much like getting up on a stump in Peru and spouting Estonian.
Sure as hell, he just looked at her-looked at her with Teo’s dark eyes. She was his mother. She was
Tears stung Louise’s eyes. If only the world really worked that way! Mm-hmm, if only. When you looked at it from the far side of fifty, you wondered if you truly understood even one single goddamn thing. And the older you got, the less likely it seemed. She’d been sure about Colin. Then she’d been sure about Teo. Then. . At least then she’d had a job, for Christ’s sake.
Now. . Now she wasn’t sure of anything, and she didn’t have a job or much else. “Shit.” Her lips shaped the word again-silently, she thought. James Henry giggled, anyhow. Either she hadn’t been silent enough or he could read lips. Both possibilities made her want to go
* * *
Kelly’d got past the worst part of the pregnancy. She didn’t fall asleep if you looked at her sideways. She didn’t work at random times any more, either. They called it morning sickness, but what did they know? It had got her whenever it felt like getting her, as when those egg yolks started staring up at her so malevolently.
She wasn’t quite out to there yet, either, out to where she just wanted to have the kid and get it over with. It was going to be a girl. She and Colin were going to name it Deborah. You couldn’t go far wrong with a name from the Bible-well, not unless you picked something like Jezebel or Habakkuk. So thought Kelly, who didn’t have that kind of name, and Colin hadn’t argued with her. They didn’t argue much, which Kelly took as one more good sign.
She should have been happy, in other words. And she had been happy, right up till that dusty Toyota pulled up in front of the house and Vanessa got out.
She didn’t know what the trouble was between the two of them. She believed that the first time it crossed her mind, anyhow. The first time, yes. Not the second. By then, she’d worked out what was going on-not what to do about it, but what it was.
She was a dog and Vanessa was a cat. It was about that simple. Kelly liked cats. But when you weren’t one and when you ran into somebody who was. . Life got more interesting than you really wanted it to.
Vanessa was younger than she was, prettier than she was, more graceful than she was. She’d been on the road for a while. She was grubby and looked tired as she walked up to the door. Kelly opened it. Vanessa looked at her and said, “Oh. You must be Kelly.”
In another tone of voice, or without that flat
Once past the front foyer, Vanessa looked around. “It’s. . different,” she said, as if that should have been a hanging offense on the off chance it wasn’t.
“Yes. It is.” Kelly hadn’t known she could sound any chillier. She surprised herself, because she had no trouble at all. The decor everywhere but in Colin’s study had still been Louise’s when she started hanging out with him. The front room didn’t look like a rummage sale in a Russian Orthodox monastery any more.
“Well. .” Vanessa had said, and then, “It’s better than Camp Constitution, anyhow.” By the way she said it, it wasn’t one hell of a lot better than the enormous refugee camp.
“Thanks,” Kelly’d answered. “If it doesn’t suit you, I’m sure you can find a motel.” She knew that was a mistake as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Too late then, of course. Things would have been bad enough even without a formal declaration of hostilities. Now? Now they’d be worse than bad enough.
“Where will you put me?” Vanessa had asked. It wasn’t
“One of the upstairs bedrooms. Colin says it used to be yours a long time ago.” Stressing the last four words, Kelly’d hit back.
“Oh, boy. Back to high school,” Vanessa had muttered.
If they hadn’t already got on bad terms, Kelly would have forgiven her that one. Having to move back into your parents’ house was every grown American child’s nightmare. As things were, Kelly wasn’t in a slack-cutting mood. “Come on up, why don’t you?” she’d asked tonelessly.
Marshall was clacking away down the hall, behind a closed door. Eyeing the yellow tape on the door-POLICE LINE! DO NOT CROSS! — Vanessa’d curled her lip. “My God, hasn’t he changed at all?” she’d said.
“You’d know better than I would.” Kelly had knocked on Marshall’s door.
The clacking stopped. “What?” Marshall had sounded irritable, or as irritable as he ever sounded. He didn’t like getting interrupted while he was writing.
This was a special occasion, though, or Kelly thought it was. “Your sister’s home,” she’d answered.
After a few seconds, Marshall had said, “Cool.” He’d started typing again. Kelly wondered if he was ripped.