She pushed back her chair and sailed from the room, Marlo close on her heels.
Evis sniffed the air. “I believe the biscuits are about to burn.”
“What would you know ’bout biscuits,” muttered Mama Hog.
“Enough not to burn them.”
“Oh hush, both of you.” Darla let go of my hand and rushed to the stove. I opened and closed my fingers a few times to make sure they still worked.
“Throw a couple of those on a plate, will you, Darla, my dear? Then bring them upstairs. I get terribly grumpy if I have to go to war without a nap first.”
“You’re gonna sleep, boy? Now?”
‘For an hour or so, Mama. Unless you can think of something better to do.”
“We can be a sharpenin’ blades and piling furniture against the doors.”
“We could start boiling water to pour down the trap doors, in case they find the tunnels,” added Evis.
Mama cackled. “Good idea, boy. I likes that one.”
Evis smiled. “Then you’ll love what I have in mind to put in jars that can be tossed from upstairs to the lawn,” he said.
“Lamp oil?”
Evis nodded. “With soap mixed in, to make it stick.”
Mama slapped him on the back. “I likes the way you think, boy.”
I hustled Darla out of there, before they started hugging.
Later, Darla and I watched the sunrise.
As sunrises go, it lacked spectacle. The window was so thick we could barely see through it in the first place. And then there were the trees, which drank up the sun as it climbed.
But some light crept through nonetheless. First came the dawn, red and slow, and it gave way to day. There was no warmth in it. No bird song, either. Just a pale grey light that seemed reluctant and shone cold.
Darla was at my side, leaning against me. Her hair was mussed and her eyes were red, but she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
I told her so. She smiled and called me a liar.
And then the first siege engine broke from the trees, and men came shouting with it.
Horses galloped into the Lady’s charred and unkempt lawn. There were more shouts. I could make out movement, but not detail. There came crashings and the neighing of horses, and then the chop-chop-chopping of axes biting into trees.
Darla regarded it with a sleepy sort of detached curiosity.
“They’re clearing the trees so the catapults can fire.”
“You know the very words to melt a girl’s heart.”
“That’s me, all right. Charming to the last.”
“Is this the last, Markhat?”
I forced a smile. “Not a chance, Missy. All they’ve got are catapults. The Corpsemaster has worse than that in his pajama pockets, and you know it.”
“Maybe. But if it is, I love you, Markhat.”
Masonry shattered, down below. The horsemen were using ropes to topple the ward statues.
“This is the part where you tell me you love me too,” said Darla.
“You know I do.”
“I don’t know anything unless you tell me.”
“I bought you velvet gloves for Yule. If that isn’t love, I don‘t know what is.”
She turned to face me.
“I am not going to die without hearing the words, Markhat. Give me that.”
Hammers joined the axes as the catapult began to take shape. Footfalls sounded beyond my door, rushing from the stairs and down the hall towards us.
“I love you, Darla Tomas. Happy now? There is an invading army forming up on the lawn, you know. They have a catapult. Did I mention they have a catapult?”
She smiled. “So we’ve established that I love you, and you love me. Agreed?”
“No arguments here.” Knocks fell on my door. Mama bellowed my name.
Darla didn’t let go when I made to turn away.
“When men type people and women type people fall in love, they often start setting certain dates.”
Mama, bless her heart, gave the door a shove and barged on in, bellowing and stomping.
“Boy! Wake up, damned if they ain’t about to start flingin’ rocks-”
Darla skipped away from me, a hint of triumph on her face. Mama blushed and shut up.
“It’s all right, Mama. We were just about to get dressed.”
Mama gobbled something apologetic and backed away. I grabbed a shirt and hastily donned it, while Darla glided to the fancy bathroom and closed the door.
“You said something about rocks and the flinging thereof.”
“They’s pushin’ machines out of the woods. Three so far. Men an’ horses everywhere.”
I sat and pulled on boots.
“We knew this was coming, Mama. And you know who’s on our side.”
Mama snorted. “The one we ain’t naming ain’t on nobody’s side but his own.”
I found Toadsticker hiding under the couch and yanked him free. The Corpsemaster’s dainty dagger went in my right boot, where I planned for it to stay.
“What’s going on downstairs?”
“Them painters is paintin’. The rest of the lot is runnin’ around with swords they don’t know how to swing. The Lady has took to her wand-wavin’ room. Her man is stompin’ around givin’ orders and getting’ mad when nobody pays him no mind.”
I had a good idea who was foremost in paying Marlo no mind.
“Evis and crew?”
Mama cackled. “Boy, I got to say, that Evis is a likeable feller, if you can get past that face. He’s made up a batch of sticky lamp oil and if he’s as good at throwin’ as he thinks he is we might just set them cat-a-pults on fire before they get them built.”
“Victor and Sara?”
“Who?
“The other two halfdead.”
“Ain’t seen hide nor hair of them. Reckon they’re about, though, getting’ ready to spread some vampire nasty when the doors go down.”
Darla emerged from my bathroom. Her hair was combed, her clothes were fresh and the red was gone from her eyes.
“We’re engaged,” she said, without preamble.
Mama barked a laugh and slapped her knee. “And high time, I reckon.”
“Don’t look so terrified, darling. It happens all the time.”
“I don’t look terrified.”
“Last time I seen bug eyes like that, boy, they was in a toad a coach run over.” Mama grinned and bowed. When she straightened up, there was a dried owl in her hand. “Upon this joining, I confer my blessing.”
Something exploded out on the lawn. Tiny bits of sod pecked at the window.
“Downstairs, ladies. War starts early, in these parts.”
Darla took my arm. “Let’s get it done quickly, shall we, dear? We have rings to pick out.”
I’ve never hurried toward the sound of battle with such eagerness.
Downstairs was pandemonium.
Gardeners and stable boys and carpenters and cooks were charging from window to window and door to door, shouting and knocking holes in the plaster with their makeshift armor and tripping over each other everywhere the hall got narrow. Half a dozen dogs trotted happily behind them, not sure what game it was they were playing
