Blue Belle

'He was in an accident.'

Her face went sulky. 'I told you the truth. I told you my secrets. You don't have to tell me yours.' She lit a cigarette. 'But don't lie to me - I'm a big girl, not a baby. It's none of my business, just say that. Don't tell me stories, you want me to trust you.'

'It's none of your business,' I said.

She didn't say another word until I hit the highway and she saw where I was headed.

'No.'

'No what?'

'No good. What happened to your friend - it's none of my business, okay. But you're going to do something now. I know you have to.'

'And?'

'And that's my business. I'm in too.'

'No, you're not.'

'Yes, I am. Don't you tell me I'm not. I can do things. I can help.'

'Look, Belle . . .'

'You look. You think I'm just a piece of ass with a sad story? I'm a woman. A woman who loves you. You don't want my love, you say so. Say so right now.'

''I . . .'

'Just shut up. I don't sell my love. I never gave it away before. I said I was going to love you. That means something. My love is worth something - you have to give me a chance to show you.'

'You'll get your chance.'

'How? Coming to see you on visiting day?'

'If that's what it comes down to.'

'No! I love you. I swear I love you. I pay attention when you talk. I learn things. You want to mistreat me, I'll still love you. I play for keeps. But you can't disrespect me. Like on that wall you showed me.'

'I'm not disrespecting you.'

'No? You've got work to do, I should stay at home, right? I'm too fat for an apron, and I don't know how to cook.'

I lit a cigarette, blew smoke at the windshield, driving mechanically.

Belle moved in close to me, her hip against mine, both arms around my neck, talking softly into my ear. 'You have to love me. And you won't . . . not really love me . . . unless you let me in. I won't get in the way - I'll just do my piece. You say what it is. But you have to let me in or you'll never see what I am . . . you'll never love me, Burke.'

I took a deep breath. Let it out slow.

'You won't free-lance? You'll do what I tell you?'

'I swear.'

'I'll pick you up tonight. Around seven.'

'Where're we going?'

'The racetrack.'

'I thought . . .'

'That's not the deal,' I reminded her.

She gave me a kiss, nuzzled against me for a minute, moved back to the passenger side.

'You're the boss.' She smiled.

Sure.

57

When we got to her house, Belle bounded out of the car like she was going to a fire sale on salvation. I wheeled the car around and shot back to the city. Lots of work to do.

I pulled in behind Mama's. Grabbed the Daily News from under the register and sat in my booth. The waiter brought me some hot-and-sour soup, not even pretending I had a choice. I read the paper, waiting for Mama. Nothing about any new Ghost Van murders. I flipped through to the back. The race results. Mystery Mary came out on top. Wired the field, trotting the mile in 2:00.3. She was three lengths up at the top of the stretch and held on by a neck. Paid $14.20. I was up almost a grand and a half. I couldn't remember the last time I figured a race so perfectly. I waited for the rush. It didn't come.

Mama moved into the booth. Greeted me, her eyes shifting to the newspaper.

'You win?'

'Yeah.'

'I tell Max pick up the money?'

'Yeah. And tell him to lay low for a few days. Stay off the street, okay? I'm working on something - a nice sweet score. Let people think he's gone away for a while.'

Mama looked at me, waiting.

'I got to go,' I told her.

She didn't say anything.

58     

I hit the post office. Told Melvin where the Prof was, gave him the phone number of the private room. Anyone comes around asking for the Prof, he should call me at Mama's, leave the word.

The City Planning Office had the detailed grid maps I needed. I paid for them in cash.

I spent another couple of hours at the library, groping around, not sure what I was looking for.

I drove to the junkyard. Turned around before I got there. It wasn't time for the Mole yet.

I went back to the office. I put the grid maps of the city on the wall. Spread out the clips Morelli got for me. I couldn't make them work.

I went into myself, deep as I could go. I came back empty.

Pansy and I shared some roast beef.

When I looked at my watch, it was time to go.

59

The door opened before I could knock. 'Close your eyes,' Belle said. 'Keep them closed.'

She led me over to the couch, pushed me into it. 'Just sit for a minute, honey - I'm not done yet.'

I lit a smoke, looking around. The whole place was a mess - boxes and paper all over the floor, bed not made, ashtrays overflowing.

Belle came out of the bathroom prancing on a pair of shiny black spikes. Her hair was swept to one side, held together with a black clip. Her face was so different I had to look twice: dark eye liner pulled her eyes apart, sharp lines over her cheekbones. Her mouth was a wide, dark slash. She was wearing a black silk top over a pair of skin- tight pants in a wide black-and-white stripe. Two heavy white ropes tied loosely around her waist. She twirled before me, as pretty-proud as a little girl in her first party dress.

'See. Just like Michelle said.'

I stared at her.

'Burke. Say something!'

'Damn!'

'What does that mean?' she demanded, moving closer.

'I think my heart stopped. You want to try some mouth-to-mouth?'

The smile lit up her face. 'Isn't it great? Michelle's so smart.'