She threw away her cigarette. 'Burke…'
'Yeah?'
She stood close to me, held my hand. Her kiss was soft. 'You and me, it's not going to be.'
'I know.'
192
I stood alone on my rooftop, looking down into the zero. I never knew the name of the last sacrifice— didn't know who I was crying for anymore.
Thought about what I didn't have until the list got too long.
Clarence's voice, from long ago. 'What would be justice, mahn? So the baby may sleep in peace?'
He was older now.
I can't make babies. Can't fake love. I finished with my tears. Back to what I had left.
193
At Mama's, in the back booth, drinking my soup, making my plans.
'You had call,' Mama said. 'Yesterday.'
'He leave a name?'
'Not a man. Woman. Said to tell you Belinda called. She say you have her number.'
194
They brought Silver to the attorney's conference room at Rikers. We shook hands. I felt the power of his grip all the way through my wounded shoulder.
He leaned forward, jailhouse whisper. 'Helene told me. I owe you, brother.'
I reached in my attache case. Showed him the picture of Emerson, ran my thumb along the razor-sliced edge. Said the baby-killer's name softly. He'd be in the same joint as Silver, awaiting trial— Rikers holds city-wide.
Silver stared at the photo for a long minute, nodded, handed it back.
195
I'm here now. Waiting for my spirit to walk.
