Zanek worried in the least about your safety there?”
“ I've convinced the brass over his head that it's the only logical step at this point; probably the only way to lure Matisak out of hiding. I've been under guard and surveillance since his escape, since I stepped off the plane in Oklahoma from Hawaii. Zanek had an army surround me there at the airport. Now it's been near six months of sheer hell; imagine it, all that time without any semblance of peace or sense of privacy. I told 'em all that their bodyguard duties toward me were over. I'm sick of being watched-even by them. You understand that?”
“ Sure, I can understand that, but-”
“ I can take care of myself.”
“ I'm sure you can, Doctor.”
“ Jessica… call me Jessica, or Jess if you like.”
“ Very well, and I'm Kim.”
“ As for Matisak… he's vanished, just as if he'd fallen off the globe. Not a trace.” She breathed deeply, wiping away a tear. “Some tough FBI lady, huh?”
“ Hey, I understand completely. God, I can't imagine having someone stalking me, and knowing the man's a blood-drinking sadist, knowing he's after my blood, that no one else's will ever completely satisfy him. God knows, I don't fault you in the least for showing natural emotions, Doc-Jess.”
Jessica wiped her face with a tissue and cleared her throat and continued. “There's an ulterior motive for my having talked Zanek into teaming us up, Kim.”
Kim thought, Here it comes, the truth. “Oh, really. And what ulterior motive is that? Something Paul put you up to?”
“ I thought at first I should just keep it to myself, but I was raised to believe that two people going into a venture as important as this must completely trust and understand one another.”
“ Here, take some of this coffee,” Kim offered.
Jessica sipped from the foam cup, thanking her for the lukewarm offering.
“ Now go on. Out with it.”
“ I had hoped… after seeing what you're capable of… I'd hoped that perhaps you could… I mean…”
“ I know you don't want anyone watching your back or sitting on your shoulder at this point, so what?”
Jessica sniffed back another tear and laughed. “You are intuitive.”
“ So you traded in your FBI trained bodyguards for me? I suppose I should be flattered. Perhaps it would be flattering, if I gave it much thought.”
“ Look,” Jessica began anew, “yes, I was hoping that with a few private sessions between us, you might help me locate that son of a-satanic-bitch before he locates me, but if it doesn't sit well with you, then… then-“You're not even sure I can help you locate him before he locates you; Jess, it seems to me that you're clutching at straws here… not to mention presumptions not in evidence, and for a woman of science… well…” Kim paused, saying nothing further, searching the sun-drenched clouds out the porthole to her right. The dense white mountain of cloud which stretched outward forever looked like a pillowy glacier onto which she might escape. However, real glaciers were not storybook-smooth on their surfaces, but rather pitted and treacherous. Between Zanek's sending her back to face her childhood home and Jessica Coran's undeniable need, Kim herself might surely need an escape route, or at least a friend. Pour it on, she silently thought.
Still, she managed a pleasant enough smile, turned back to face Jessica, took her hands firmly in her own and said, “I'll do whatever in my power to help keep you safe. I can't actually promise you anything, but if you think a psychometric seance with me will help, I'll certainly arrange one… if you're sure.”
“ A seance… really?” Jessica hadn't expected such a commitment so soon. “I'd… I'd like that.”
“ You wouldn't by chance have brought along anything once belonging to Matthew Matisak, would you?”
“ I've collected a few items, things left in his cell, some of the evidence used to put him away, that sort of thing, but… but…”
And you of course carry the scars he inflicted upon you, thought Kim. “Damnit, all that stuffs packed away and in the cargo hold,” Jessica said. “Well, then, what about your… your well-publicized ankles?”
“ My ankles?”
“ The scars he left on you. Would you trust them to me?”
Jessica kicked one of her heels into the air in response. “Does that answer your question?”
“ You must've been impressed by what Paul had to say about my abilities, or you wouldn't so readily place yourself in my hands,” Kim replied, a look of surprise fading over her brow.
“ I saw some tapes on you. I was impressed.”
“ Best hurry then and do this, yes? Before you change your mind.” Kim's self-deprecating smile was meant to put Jessica at ease, but the FBI's most famous M.E. remained aloof.
“ I've tried everything else. I'm desperate.”
Everybody's desperate when they come to a supposed miracle worker, Kim thought. “Jessica, you needn't apologize to me. I understand.”
“ I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful or as if I… I…”
“ Never mind, forget it. I've long ago become accustomed to dealing with people who doubt me but at the same time want to believe I can help them, Jessica.”
“ I suppose God gets a lot of that too.”
It was said with the venom born of frustration and drink, as spiked a phrase as Kim had heard in a long time, but for some reason, it was also funny, so Kim, unable to respond any other way, burst out laughing. Jessica, surprised by the outburst, suddenly joined in, and together-unable to completely stifle the nervous edge to the laughter-they sputtered like old friends reunited.
Jessica's eyes wandered now, and she felt incapable of saying more; she felt vulnerable, as if she had opened up her soul to this near-stranger. She'd worked for years with Dr. Donna Lemonte, who'd suggested that she seek other help since Donna had begun to feel that their therapy together had come to a standstill, that while Jessica teetered at the precipice of complete discovery and peace, she was too afraid to take the leap. Donna Lemonte had cut Jessica loose-telling her it was for her own goddamned good, telling her that she'd taken Jessica as far as she could go in a psychoanalytical sense, telling Jessica that any further sessions would just be highway robbery on her part, saying she was too much Jessica's friend now to lie to her or string her along. With friends like that, friends who abandoned you, Jessica thought, who needs enemies.
Donna had said that Jessica was as obsessed with Matisak as he was with her, and that until that obsession could be resolved or at least controlled, any further attempts at resolutions and order in her life were futile exercises, draining both patient and therapist of energy in a no-win battle for Jessica's sanity.
Jessica now confided some of this to Kim Desinor. All the ground that she and Donna had fought so painstakingly for, all the strides, all the wins-all effectively demolished by one act on the part of the madman, his escape. Matisak's escape and his insidious notes to her, his ugly poetry, had with one fell swoop unleashed all the shadows and horrors that for years now she had fought to control and put away forever.
“ In all truth, it was Dr. Donna Lemonte who suggested I get together with you, but I didn't think it right, unless I could do something for you in return,” Jessica confessed now, feeling better at having the deception out and in the open.
Doesn't like to feel obligated, Kim thought, to anyone. Is afraid of long-term commitments, and this is killing her, to have to ask for help, so she baiters instead.
Jessica continued speaking. “I urged Zanek to give you this chance; it's your chance to come in with us at the profiling team, a chance to take a giant step ahead for psychic profiling and detection at Quantico.”
Kim's smile was an embrace. “Donna's a great friend and colleague. She mentioned you might be seeking me out professionally someday. I just didn't expect it quite in this… fashion. You know, Jessica, you could've just come to me.”
“ Call me selfish. I wanted to get back to work too. They've had me caged up at Quantico. The bastard's out there free to kill and kill again, and I'm the prisoner now. Well, to hell with that.”
Kim admired her fire, the spirit that inflamed her soul, so visible in Jessica's terrific aura.
Jessica almost shouted, “I'm not going to play the part of some rabbit in a warren, waiting for that son of a bitch to snare me. I won't do that; I can't, at least not anymore.”
Kim said nothing, her face stern and emotionless, but her eyes fastened to Jessica's. Jessica feared how much of herself she'd already given away. “That sounds like a healthy attitude to me,” Kim finally replied. “Look,
