day. 'Do you need any assistance?'
When he didn't answer immediately, I turned to look at him. I had on a short sun dress, black with white polka dots, and he was staring at my legs. I didn't blame him, they're shapely but somewhat out of place on a body with broad hips, a full bottom and rounded arms. Still, it wasn't very professional of him and I cleared my throat, drawing his gaze up to mine at last.
'I asked if you need any assistance.' My voice didn't sound the least bit annoyed and I allowed myself a small smile. Playing nice with Phil Darling would be good practice for ignoring Noah the next time he lowered himself to coming by.
Darling's head moved in something that started as a negative shake but slid into a nod. When he spoke, his gaze sparkled and I felt my smile widen.
'Yeah, I could use a little help.'
Really, he didn't, but I followed him around for twenty minutes pretending like it was a two-person job. I badly needed the experience of smiling at another man, pretending to flirt, acting like I'd never even heard of Noah Lodge let alone felt his lips on mine or surrendered to the hard, penetrating thrusts of his cock as he drove me on to my fifth orgasm.
If I could smile and convince Darling that I hadn't had my heart broken that very morning, I could convince another man and the one after that. Eventually, I'd convince myself.
I was still smiling later when Darling rested one big hand against the wall, his palm pressed flat about a foot above my shoulder. Leaning in close to me, he confessed he'd wanted to ask me out a time or two growing up.
I arched a brow, my lips curling up in surprise. 'Why didn't you?'
'I always figured if Mike was going to let any of his friends date his baby sister, it would be Noah.' He laughed just as the unlocked front screen swung open.
I looked to my right to find Noah standing in the doorway, his body framed by sunlight, his face in shadows.
'I don't think Mike would mind.' I pushed off from the wall, offering Darling one last smile before I pointedly ignored Noah and headed into the kitchen.
The next few minutes were filled with the low rumble of male voices as Darling explained to Noah the work he'd done and answered questions on how the security system functioned. The whole scene was ridiculous — Noah wouldn't be turning the alarm on or off. Hell, after Darling left and I reset the pass code, Noah wouldn't even know what it was. But he sure sounded like he would — he sounded exactly as if it was his security system, his house, his family.
Mine.
The word rose unbidden in my mind, quickly followed by the memory of his voice last night as he had said it.
Mine. Mine to protect. Mine to…
I gave an angry shake of my head, forcing myself not to listen or care what Noah was saying in the next room. He hadn't finished his sentence last night but it was all too clear this morning what he'd left unsaid.
Fuck and dump.
That's what he'd done. Fucked me. Thoroughly. Even now, angry as I was, the memory made me wet and aching for him. I swiped a sponge along the kitchen counter, scrubbing at a dot that was nothing more than a fleck of metal in the polished granite top.
'Dude, you look like you're going to clock me-' Darling's statement broke my concentration.
Both men were almost down to a whisper, their voices strained.
'You were flirting with her.'
'Noah, I didn't realize-'
'Realize what?'
Darling's voice dropped even lower, the words almost indistinguishable. 'I mean, I thought you were just taking care of Mike's little sister.'
Noah cleared his throat, his tone sounding almost normal to someone who didn't know him like I did. 'I am.'
'I meant…you know — is that all you're doing?'
Noah answered too low for me to hear it. Three seconds later the front screen banged shut and he was gone.
I ate my southwestern bean pie alone — not even the prospect of a future date with Phil Darling on the horizon.
I was okay with that. I wasn't attracted to him, hadn't been remotely attracted to any man other than Noah for a good three years. I'd felt like a liar on every one of my dates over that time period and I didn't want to lie to Phil.
Or lie with him.
I knew, however, I was going to have to find some guy to fuck Noah out of my system — some guy other than my brother's old high school buddy. It was going to take a lot of fucking to erase last night. More than one man. Maybe more than one at a time. I had it that bad — for so very long — and last night had made it a hundred times worse.
Sighing, I cleared the table, made the cup of hot chocolate I'd missed out on the evening before and crawled back into bed with a fresh sketchbook.
No zombies this time. Instead, I drew my body from memory. My thighs, my calves, the full hips, the almost narrow waist and pert C cups, my pale auburn hair flowing down to cover my nipples in a faint nod to modesty.
It was a beautiful body — at least it was on paper. I didn't know how it appeared to Noah. Judging by his dates, he seemed to prefer smaller women. Scowling, I started to draw a line through the picture but stopped before the pencil reached the first curve of flesh.
I pulled an eraser from my case, obliterating the harsh line. Noah might or might not have a problem with how I looked — but I didn't. I wouldn't. I'd grown up with a big, beautiful mother my father had worshipped with his dying breath — I wasn't going to tarnish that memory by hating what I saw in the mirror.
Too bad my parents belonged to another generation, one raised before sub-zero sizing had become standard in the department stores.
'Fuck.' I tossed the eraser and pencil into the case, then dropped it and sketchbook on the floor. I turned off the light and rolled onto my side, trying to remind myself that I didn't give a damn if Noah Lodge thought I was beautiful, or smart or talented or anything other than his best friend's sister or the plump chick three doors down.
I was done with him — as done with him as he obviously was done with me.
Reminding myself a hundred times over, I finally fell asleep.
Shouting woke me around midnight. Shouting and screams.
Horrible, horrible screams — the kind they had tortured us with in those driver's ed movies in high school, pictures of teenagers in mangled cars flashing on the overhead screen, their arms bent at odd angles, mouths open in pain, the volume turned all the way up.
I bolted upright, my gaze jerking to the left and the bedroom window. The Donovans had their flood lights on and the screaming came from that direction. I tossed my robe around me and scooped up my cell phone as I moved to the window. Drawing back the curtain, I saw a man I assumed was Mr. Donovan. He held a shotgun, the tip of its long barrel pointed at something on the ground.
Above that something was Noah, an arm twisted in his iron grip as his deep voice boomed at Donovan. 'Take that fucking gun back inside before you kill someone!'
Noah turned his head, caught me watching him. He stared at me one long second, his gaze full of controlled fury as he applied more torque to the arm he held. The screaming started all over again, the body beneath Noah beginning to thrash.
Hitting the speed dial for 911, I put the phone to my ear just as I heard the first blare of sirens and saw the reflection of red and blue lights bouncing off the front of a nearby house. Seconds later uniformed officers piled onto the man beneath Noah, cuffing the guy and hauling him to his feet.
