approach, the way his mouth shaped the unspoken words playing along his tongue, I stepped out of the house and into the sunshine. I couldn't take him brushing against me in the hall or whatever platitude he wanted to comfort me with.
'Lily…'
I didn't look at him when he stepped onto the porch. Instead, I gestured at his wife waiting in the passenger seat of his car.
When he spoke again, his tone had hardened. 'We'll talk when I get back.'
I remained mute, my blinks coming faster as I fought the urge to cry. I heard him sigh and then he passed in front of me, got in the car and drove away without looking in my direction.
Stevie had curled up on the couch by the time I stepped into the living room. He wouldn't look at me. It hurt, knowing what he must have been thinking. His mom was back, and suddenly I was the enemy. How could he feel any other way?
With Logan and his wife absent, I followed my normal babysitter routine. Since there was no homework — mine or Stevie's, I straightened up around the house, my heart shriveling another inch in diameter when I entered Logan's bedroom with an armful of folded laundry to find two suitcases against one wall and a patch of red lace peeking out from under the bed. Putting the clothes on the bed, I reached down and snatched the fabric.
Women's panties, size small.
The house had three bedrooms. There was no good reason for her suitcase or panties to be anywhere near Logan's bed.
I put the underwear back where I found them and returned the folded clothes to the laundry room, trying to forget what I had just seen. I spent a few minutes or thirty in the bathroom fighting more tears, losing the battle as often as not. I tried to see the bright side — the awkward conversation with my parents wouldn't happen. Judy could stop sneering over my infatuation with Logan, at least after she stopped gloating over the return of Mrs. Jones.
At the end of two hours of almost total silence, Stevie jerked his head up from where he had resumed his position on the couch after lunch. I heard the sound of two doors shutting a few seconds later. Rushing to the hallway, I grabbed my purse and keys, the front door opening as soon as my hands closed around my bag.
Logan held the door open as the lady of the house walked back in her head held high. Halfway down the hall, she paused out of habit, her head starting to turn left before she must have remembered that the mirror had been taken down. Her head dropped a little, the frozen smile thawing and dipping downward for a heartbeat.
I let her pass out of sight then I walked briskly down the hall, twisting and contorting so that Logan could not grab hold of me as I brushed against him on my way out.
'Lily!' He followed after me, his long, powerful legs bringing him to my driver side door seconds before I reached it. Grabbing the handle, he blocked me from getting inside.
'Baby-'
My hand flew up to silence him. His wife's panties were on the floor of his bedroom, her suitcases resting only a few feet away. I wasn't his baby any longer and, from the look of things, never had been. I was a convenient fuck. The fat, pathetic babysitter who had a crush on him, took care of his child and never said no to anything he wanted.
Not that I hadn't enjoyed every last minute of it, but that fact was irrelevant.
'You will talk to me, Lily.' His grip on the door handle tightened, the muscles along his chest and arms bulging. 'She showed up in a taxi, sending it away before I ever opened the front door. I couldn't have the conversation I needed to have with her with Stevie around-'
Right, I thought. Like that totally explained why her suitcases were in the bedroom and her panties were on the floor.
When I continued staring over the top of my car's roof, he lifted his hand from the door, gripped the end of my chin and drew my gaze in his direction. I stared down at his chest. Bad enough I had to hear his pathetic excuses, I didn't need to see the truth across his face. His wife — the woman he'd shared more than a dozen years of his life with — had returned home. His son's mother had returned home.
I jerked my chin from his grasp and grabbed the door handle before he could reclaim it.
'Lily, I'll make her leave, give her money for a hotel. You don't need to go.'
I lifted my gaze to finally meet his. 'I didn't talk to my mother last night.'
I'm not sure why I said it. Probably to hide how badly I was hurting by suggesting I didn't care enough about him to be honest with my parents. Or maybe I wanted to give him an out, let him know that I wouldn't be going home defeated or embarrassed.
Whatever my reason, his gaze shut down and then that bitch, Mrs. Jones, opened the door.
'Do you need cash to pay her, dear?'
'I'm all set,' I called out and yanked the door open.
Trying to reach me one last time, Logan softly said my name. I slammed the door before I had a chance to hear anything else from his lying lips. Engine running, I whipped my car out of the drive and headed for Emy's, a half gallon of black walnut ice cream and a long night crying.
Logan called. I didn't answer. He came by my parents' home. I made sure I wasn't there. Days passed and the calls and visits wound down to nothing. Word got around that Mrs. Logan was back. I stayed away from home to avoid Judy's knowing smirk and my mother's questions.
I worked on projects at school, volunteered for overtime at my day job, and visited Emy so much that even she, my best friend since the third grade, got a little sick of me. The last few days of conversation with her were devoid of any comfort for my broken heart, with Emy demanding I either talk to Logan like an adult or go out on a date with one of two guys she mistakenly thought were interested in me.
'Kyle only wants help prepping for the mid-term in finance!' Stopped in my car at a stoplight on my drive home, I glared at my cell phone for a second before putting it back up to my ear.
'He's just using it as an excuse to hang out with you,' she responded, her voice deceptively sweet. 'I live closer to him and I have a better grade in finance than you.'
'It's the only class you're pulling a better grade.' The light turned green and I charged across the intersection in my little car.
'Don't be petulant, sugar tits.' Her chuckle and our favorite term of endearment for one another told me I hadn't completely ruined our friendship. 'Kyle wants to bone you, so does Rick. You have ignored both of them while you moon over Logan. You can choose to be a grownup for real by talking to Logan, Kyle or Rick. Or you can admit you're a baby and sulk, but I'm not going to let you get away with ignoring reality.'
We continued back and forth like that for another five minutes before I pulled into my parents' driveway.
'Shit,' I hissed and turned the car off. 'I have to go.'
'Why? Is Logan there?'
'No.' I suppressed a growl. I had told her a dozen times over that Logan had stopped trying to contact me. He was done trying to apologize or otherwise excuse his behavior for having used me as a temporary sex toy. 'But my mom is standing with the front door open and looks like she's about to deliver a baby via her anus.'
Emy snorted. 'Picture or you're lying.'
'You'll just have to believe me on this one, sugar tits.' I snapped the phone shut and put the car in park. 'Talk to you later.'
Whatever had my mom upset, it brought her straight to the car door before I could open it. Seeing me hesitate, she pulled it open for me.
'Why haven't you answered your phone? I've been calling for at least half an hour!'
I swallowed, feeling guilty and hoping no one was hurt. I had heard the calls, far more than half an hour's worth. I had ignored them on the off chance Logan had resumed trying to reach me. 'Sorry, I was on a call with someone at work. We were going over project details.'
God, when had I become such a liar? Oh, yeah, the second I realized I had to protect my heart against any further damage. Forcing what I hoped was an apologetic smile onto my face, I started to get out of the car but her body blocked me from completely opening the door.
'Stevie must have been trying to call you, too.'
'Did he call here?' I froze in place, only my stomach and heart in motion as they both lurched forward. Damn
