A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 4. A Future, Born in Pain

'David, I'm sorry. What can I say? We examined the Dark Star Three and.... there was a fuel line rupture. It could have gone undetected for years, and it really couldn't be fixed. We decided it was better to.... well, scuttle it. We did tell you.'

'No, John. You didn't.'

John Sheridan sighed. 'I'm sorry. We did send a message to you. Something obviously happened. Look, I'm sorry, but you saw a lot of action in that ship. It was bound to happen. I know how.... attached we can get to our ships sometimes. I felt the same way with the Babylon. Look, the new Dark Star line will be ready in just a couple of months. I'll guarantee you the first one we get. And your crew as well. What do you say to that?'

What could he say? He could still hear Carolyn screaming. He would always hear her screaming. She would scream forever, her soul, her mind, her personality absorbed into that terrible network.

And now more Dark Star fleets were coming. More trapped telepaths. More nameless screams.

'David, I've got to go. There's a meeting with the Drazi Ambassador any minute now. They want increased patrols around their border. Something about the Streib. They're a bit.... touchy at the moment. God knows, it took Delenn long enough to get them to change their mind about taking Kazomi Seven back. I'll talk to you later.'

The signal ended, and David reeled back. Carolyn was still screaming.

There was nothing wrong with the Agamemnon. There had never been anything wrong with it. And to scuttle a ship without even informing its captain! No, that was wrong. That was all wrong.

We decided it was better to scuttle it.

Who was 'we'?

'What was the point of this?' he whispered. 'I couldn't save you, Carolyn. I told you I would look after you.... and.... I lied. I told you....

'I couldn't save you.

'Just like I couldn't save Mary.'

What was the point of it all? All that fighting, all those deaths. He could see them all. Mary and Marcus and Michael and Susan and Carolyn and his parents and family and friends and home.

And why? What the hell was it all for in the end?

His hand touched something cold and hard. He looked at it.

It was his PPG.

He had loved Mary, and all she was now was a pile of ash and a plaque. If he hadn't been fighting this war, he could have been with her. They could have had this last year–and–a–half together. Maybe he would even have noticed her illness. Maybe he could have done something.

Maybe he could have saved her life. Maybe they would still be together.

He could see her in front of him.

Maybe they could be together again.

She was trying to tell him something, but he couldn't hear her. Carolyn's screaming filled his mind.

'I love you,' he sobbed, his body racked with pain. The weapon felt so solid in his hand.

Maybe they could be together again.

No one needed him now. No one. Nothing. Mary was gone. Carolyn was gone. Susan was gone. John was a stranger to him now. Delenn was safe, with her own life and her own mission.

No one needed him now.

'I love you, Mary.

'I'll be with you soon.'

He raised the PPG to his head.

* * *

The voices had almost stopped now. In fact they had stopped dead as he set foot on the hard ground of his new home and looked up at the sky.

He could feel its fear now. It was afraid. The Vorlons were here. The Rangers were here. The technomages were here. They would destroy it if they found it.

But they would not. He would protect it. It was a part of him now.

He found himself missing Centauri Prime already, but he had had to leave. He had to come here.

Lennier walked forward, looking for the Ranger Headquarters. He had been away from them for a while. It was time to serve his calling again.

* * *

The gun jerked upwards as it fired. There was a blast of heat and he fell backwards. The muscles in his hand loosened and the PPG fell to the ground.

David stood up and looked around. Lyta was standing in the doorway. She took a step inside and the door closed behind her.

'They're trying to kill you,' she said simply.

'What?' Tears streaked his face, but he didn't notice them. For the first time he could see something new, and she filled his vision. She was the only thing he could see.

'They're trying to kill you. They're trying to make you kill yourself. Don't let them win, David.'

'Who...? Why would anyone try to kill me?'

'The Vorlons. David.... the war's over. They're trying to mop up loose ends. That's all you are to them now. A loose end. You.... think too clearly. You have too much compassion. You're a potential threat to them, and so they want you dead.'

'They killed Carolyn. They destroyed my ship and they killed her.'

'I know,' she whispered, moving up close to him. A spasm of pain flashed across her face. 'I felt it. She was too independent. She knew her own name, and that was too much for them.'

'Then it was my fault,' he whispered. 'What they did to her was.... my fault. If I hadn't talked to her, hadn't tried to.... free her, then....'

'No!' she snapped. 'It was not your fault. It would never be your fault. They are the ones who stuck her in there. They are the ones who killed her. They're the ones who tried to force you to kill yourself. And they're the ones who are going to stick me in that damned network of theirs if they get the chance.'

'You? Lyta, get out of here! Now! Don't let them....'

She put one finger on his mouth, silencing him. 'I was going,' she said. 'I was. Then I.... sensed your pain. I sensed what they were doing to you. I couldn't let them kill you. So.... I came back. I couldn't let them kill you, David. We'll need you. All of us will. You are a good man. Don't let them win.'

'What was the point of it all, Lyta? All that fighting, and for what? How are we better off than we were before?'

'We aren't.... but it isn't over yet. The war, the true war, isn't over. I'm going to find Sinoval. I'm going to join him, and help him as much as I can. He's the only one who scares them. He's the only one who can....'

'Lyta.... someone I loved died recently. Was that them, too? Was it just a coincidence I learned about it today?'

'It may have been,' she whispered. 'They'll do whatever is necessary to get what they want.'

'I can't bear this,' he cried. 'Another war! I just want it over.'

'So do I,' she said softly.

Then she kissed him.

* * *

'After all this time.... I can hardly believe it.'

Delenn smiled. For as long as either of them could remember, they had known only war. It had begun over a decade and a half ago, and those years had been marked by suffering and loss and heartache. Both of them had lost far too many they loved. She had said goodbye to Draal, Neroon, Jenimer, Dukhat, her father. He had lost his entire family, so many friends. Both of them had lost their son.

And now it was over.

'What will we do now?' she asked, still smiling.

John looked at her. 'Hmm?'