A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 4. A Future, Born in Pain

But he was a true warrior, not a cripple.

'I am a warrior!' Kozorr cried.

'Of course you are,' said a soft voice. He looked up, realising at last that he was not alone. He knew who was there even as she came into the flickering light cast by his candle. 'We all know that,' said Tirivail, as she sat down opposite him. 'It is only you who seems to need convincing.'

'I will make you poor company,' he said.

'I would rather be the judge of that. In fact, I think you will make very good company indeed.'

'Go away, my lady. I am in the mood for solitude.'

'No, I do not think you are. I can sense your.... division. You are a fine warrior, no one questions your bravery, or your skill.... no one save yourself, anyway. Why are you here?'

'To meditate.'

She shook her head in mock exasperation. 'No, why are you here? Why have you joined with Sonovar in this crusade of his? I came because my father did, and it is not the place of a warrior to refuse to obey the head of her clan. Why did you come here?'

'Because.... I do not wish to talk about this.'

'And that is why you must.'

He sighed. 'To prove myself worthy of her. To prove myself better than him.... at anything. To prove to myself that I was more than just a cripple lackey who followed at his heels and obeyed his every word. To.... prove something to myself.'

'Sinoval.... and your little worker?'

'Yes.'

'I am sure she thinks you are worthy of her. And as for.... him.... well, I am equally sure he appreciated your worth. Sonovar does.' Softer: 'I do.'

He cast his eyes down. 'My lady Tirivail.... I am a cripple. I have betrayed one to whom I swore fealty. I have had my doom pronounced to me. I am not worthy of your.... affections, any more than I am of hers.'

Tirivail sighed. 'You do not understand at all. If you are the coward and oath-breaker you claim to be, then surely your.... true face will show that to me. When you sleep.'

He looked up and caught her eyes clearly. They were deep, and filled with sincerity. He said her name softly. 'I wish to be alone.'

She nodded, and rose angrily to her feet. 'You do not see yourself as you truly are. What will it take to show your true soul to you?'

'My judgement.... at the day of my death.'

She shook her head and left, not saying another word. Her anger was all too evident, just as her sincerity had been. She believed he was more than he was, and that hurt. Why did people keep holding him up as a hero? He was a coward, an oath-breaker and a traitor.

He hefted his pike in his good hand, and blew out the candle. In complete darkness, with only his demons and his voices for company, Kozorr, coward, cripple, oath-breaker and warrior, began the ritual again.

* * *

They looked so lost.

G'Kar cast his red eyes around the table at those who were sitting in on this meeting of the United Alliance Council of Kazomi 7, and that was all he could think of.

They looked so lost.

Of course, without Delenn, they were lost. Each person here brought unique skills of their own to the table, but only Delenn had been able to weld those skills into a cohesive whole. Without her, they were simply individuals.

Sheridan was here today, for the first time in weeks. He had been out testing the efficacy of the Dark Star fleet against the Shadows. His report had been delivered to all the members a few days before. G'Kar had read his copy, and he had to admit the results were encouraging. The Dark Stars could fight and beat Shadow ships without needing the incredibly rare telepaths. Of course support from heavier ships with telepaths would be needed as well, but now at least they had the nucleus of an effective response team.

All they needed now was a strategy, and that was what Sheridan was going to present to the Council.

He walked in a few minutes after the full meeting had convened. He had not missed much, just some worried chatter among the members. G'Kar had been asking hurried questions of G'Kael, about his latest communications with the Kha'Ri. They had not been welcoming.

All conversation stopped as Sheridan entered. G'Kar looked at him with a critical eye, and he did not like what he saw. Sheridan's eyes seemed hollow and deep-set. There was several days' worth of unshaved fur on his face. G'Kar admittedly had little experience with the human habit of 'shaving', but he did recognise it as a symptom that Sheridan had been taking very little care of himself.

G'Kar then switched his gaze to Comm.... Captain Corwin. He knew Sheridan better than anyone else here. He looked every bit as concerned as G'Kar felt.

Sheridan stopped by the computer console at the head of the room and turned to face the Council. His eyes touched briefly on Delenn's empty chair, and then he looked behind them all to the figure at the far end of the room. Ulkesh was standing there, silent and still.

'Thank you all for coming,' Sheridan said. His voice at least showed no sign of fatigue or grief. It was as firm and authoritative as always. 'You've all had a chance by now to read my reports on the new Dark Star fleet. As you have seen, they are a match for the Shadow capital ships, in sufficient numbers and with adequate support. According to Ambassador Ulkesh a second wave of ships will be available to us by the end of the year, but it is my belief we need to act decisively before then.

'For too long now we have been reacting to the Shadows, not acting. That was necessary at a time when we had no adequate means of opposing them save by entrusting to luck and miracles. These have got us this far, yes, but at great cost. We cannot afford to keep going on luck. Believe me, I found that out against the Minbari. There comes a time when we must stop reacting, and start acting.'

He paused, and drew in a deep breath. Turning to the computer console, he called up a map of the human sector of space.

'G'Kar and his Rangers have managed to discover the location of many of the Shadow bases. A great many of course are near their stronghold at the Rim, Z'ha'dum. I have been there, and I know it is well fortified. However, it is my belief that we can take Z'ha'dum.... eventually. I know it seems impossible now, but I assure you it can be done. They are not Gods, and they are not legends. They can be beaten, their ships can be destroyed, and they have been suffering losses since the start of this war just as we have. Eventually they will run out of resources.

'I'm not saying it will be easy, and I'm certainly not saying we can take Z'ha'dum straight away. First, we have to deprive them of their bases and outposts between here and there. It's the oldest military rule in the book: never leave a live and ready enemy behind you.

'Most of their outposts are on uninhabited or low-tech worlds. Staging points, mostly, at convenient locations for assaults on shipping lanes and so forth. We plan to drive them off these, but G'Kar and his Rangers have only been able to discover so many. There will be more we haven't found, so.... that will not be our major priority. If we have to destroy an outpost on the way to our immediate concerns we will, but I am not going to spend all my energy on a game of hide-and-seek.

'The Shadows have one significant base this side of Z'ha'dum.' He called up an image of Proxima 3 on the screen. 'The Resistance Government has made a deal with the Shadows, allowing them a complete and permanent presence within human space. Much of this is on the border of Narn territory, in areas formally controlled by the Narns. Other than installing a few perfunctory fortifications along these borders, the Narns have made no effort to guard against the Shadows.

'Do you know why that is, Ambassador G'Kael?'

The Ambassador shifted in his seat. 'We have not been attacked by these Shadows. Also, we are on good terms with the Resistance Government.'

'That will end, as of today. I do not expect the Kha'Ri to participate fully in our war with the Shadows, but they will not be their allies. Whatever deals you have brokered with them.... they end.'