A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 4. A Future, Born in Pain

Narn ships were going to attack our homeworld. Maybe we would win, and maybe they would, but either way, people would die. Good people, with families, with children.

This way, we would live, and only the Narns would die. They are our enemies. They attacked our home. They attacked and invaded our colonies.

I will bear the burden of this deal I have made. I, and no other.

Carn paused, and then nodded. 'As you say, Lord–General. I will report again when word reaches me of the status on the ground.'

'Do so.' The screen went blank and Marrago sat back. He felt tired. He wanted to sit and rest, to feel the warmth of the sun on his face, and to sip brivare until the sun set.

Instead he rose to his feet and began to co–ordinate the ground offensive.

* * *

'Take it.'

Kozorr said nothing, merely looking. Kats could see the emotions flashing through his eyes. She had thought about this moment for months, ever since she had learned of his betrayal, after his failed attempt to destroy the Well of Souls. She had thought about and planned for this moment, but now that it was here, she had no idea what to say.

'Take it,' she said again, trying to maintain the dignity and conviction in her tone and bearing. 'It is your weapon. Take it.'

'No,' he said at last. 'NO! Why did he bring you here?'

'He did not. I came myself, knowing you would be here.'

'You should not be here.'

A light sparkled in one of her eyes, briefly, and then it was gone. 'That is exactly what he said.'

'Then we can agree on something. You should not be here, my.... Whatever Sinoval is planning, he should not have included you.'

'I am capable of looking after myself,' she said flatly. 'Besides, I have my protectors. Sinoval did not send me here alone.' She stepped back, and held the pike against her side. 'If you do not want this, then I shall keep it.'

'No, I.... I never meant to.... I....'

'Why? Was it always a lie? All of it? Did you mean even a single word of that oath you swore to him?'

'Yes! I did.... then. But.... look at me, my lady. I am a pathetic cripple who cannot even stand unaided. Sinoval should have left me to die in the Hall, and then I would at least be reborn as a warrior, not forced to live on as.... as this! Look at me!

'How can you love such a one as this?'

Kats trembled slightly. In her darkest thoughts she had suspected that she might be to blame for his treachery. After all, had she not been captured by Sonovar and his Tak'cha allies, Kozorr would never have been taken trying to rescue her, would never have offered his life for hers, and never turned.

'How could you love such a one as this? Compared to Sinoval, how could you love me? I had to prove myself worthy of you, my lady. I had to prove myself better than him, at anything, or at everything.... and the only way to do that was to defeat him.'

She shook her head, trying to find the words. 'You never....' she began, but then she coughed. 'You never needed to....'

She suddenly blinked, and everything was gone. Kozorr, the altar, the room, the darkness. Everything was gone, save only her.

There was a column of light and a room of darkness. A soft shuffling noise could be heard, and the harsh rasping of hoarse breath. Her heart caught in her chest, and she let out an involuntary cry. She knew where she was.

'Forgiveness is a fine virtue, is it not?' whispered the hated voice she had heard every night in her dreams for years. 'To forgive those who have wronged you, betrayed you.'

'No,' she whispered to herself, sinking to her knees and curling into a ball. 'This is not real. You are dead. You are gone. You are....'

'I am always here. Whenever you close your eyes, whenever you dare to feel yourself safe.... I will be there, traitress. In the eyes of another, in the movements of one you love, or one you hate. You will look at others, and I will be in each and every one of them.

'And when you are alone.... look into the shadows. I will be there. I will never let you rest.... You have not yet learned my lesson, bitch.... and you will not be free of me until you have.'

'No....' she whispered again. 'What lesson? What did you teach me.... apart from pain and humiliation? What could you teach me?'

'What else?' he said. 'You do not understand. I forgave you.'

'No.... you didn't. If you did then.... then....' Enlightenment dawned. She opened her eyes and rose slowly. He was out there somewhere, shuffling in the darkness. 'You did not forgive me, Kalain. You never did. You used the word as a weapon, bludgeoning me into a mass of pity and sorrow. You taught me how not to forgive someone, how to say the word but keep the bitterness and the hatred inside.'

'You are learning. Maybe there is some intelligence inside that weak, less–than–animal brain of yours.'

'I have been dreaming about you for two years, Kalain, and I have been hating you all that time. No longer. I forgive you, Kalain. Whatever your reasons, whatever your pain, it is over and done. I forgive you. Maybe that is nothing but a word, but I know this. I will never dream about you again.'

'I think you will.'

'No. You are wrong, but I do not hate you for it. I pity you. I am sorry for you. Goodbye.'

Her pain faded, and she was where she had been. Kozorr was still kneeling on the floor in front of her, his head bowed. Gently, Kats held his pike out to him again. 'Take it,' she said softly. 'It is yours.'

He looked up, unshed tears in his eyes. 'I am sorry,' he said.

'I forgi....'

There was a burst of pain in her back and she fell with an anguished cry. Kozorr's pike slipped from her fingers as she fell.

'You should be more careful,' said Tirivail, as she looked at Kozorr. 'But then so should she.'

* * *

There was a strange feeling in the air. Trace did not like it. He could not be sure exactly what was going to happen, but he could feel that things were changing. Something big was going down.

He didn't like that. In his younger days he had liked the feel of Change sweeping the world. It had provided plenty of opportunities for someone with the will and the ambition. Now.... he was content, for the time being. It was a time for consolidation, gradually strengthening his empire, and setting things in motion for the future. Change would disrupt that.

He had been in a bad mood all day, unable to shake this feeling. His patron had not been in touch with him for days. Allan had sent word that someone had arranged for the murder charges against Smith to be dropped. That would take a lot of influence. Maybe even as far as Welles himself.

Actually, that did not bother Trace so much. He had been using corruption as a weapon for so long it would be a little hypocritical to complain when it was used against him. Besides, Smith had just.... put off the inevitable. Nothing more. He had swapped an easy and comfortable twenty years or so in jail for a very difficult and uncomfortable few days in a dark room and an unmarked grave in a construction site.

Well, that was, as soon as he showed up. Smith was in hiding at the moment, but that wouldn't last forever. Trace had men out looking for him. Smith had killed Nelson, and that wasn't the sort of thing that could be forgiven.

And of course, where Smith was, you would find that knock–out telepath hanging around with him. She was worth a fortune all by herself.

Trace rose to his feet and walked to the window. The air inside the dome seemed to be crackling. He could see people milling about on the streets, uncertain and nervous. They could sense something was going to happen as well. Even the ignorant, blind, stupid sheep who inhabited Sector 301 could feel that something was wrong.

There was a knock at his door. 'Go away!' he snapped irritably. He didn't feel like company.