A Dark, Distorted Mirror. Volume 5 : Among the Stars, like Giants. Part 1 : Learning How to Live

* * *

Chen had never experienced anything like this before. Not ever.

It was as if he had been thrown into a raging river, one composed of light and thoughts and memories. And on the instant he broke the surface, he realised he had forgotten how to swim.

There were thousands of them, screaming voices. Some he was sure he recognised. Some he was sure he had known once. But when he had known them, they had not been in so much pain.

That was what this place was. A river of pain.

Don't lose contact with us! One voice came rushing through the myriad others. It was Talia. You'll never find your way back if you do. You'll be lost forever.

What is this place?

The network. This is what they will do to us. All of us. Remember! Catch hold of something, anything that will remind you of who you are. Remember your name. And follow us. Don't get lost.

Chen could see them now, Talia and the others. They were a school of fish, heading upstream, moving deeper into the maelstrom. He had entered the river with them, but had become separated. He moved towards them and was swept up in the force of their motion.

Don't worry, came another voice, a female one. Stay close to me. I'll do what I can.

The woman who had smiled at him. I don't even know your name, he said.

Lauren. Lauren Ashley.

I'm Chen Hikaru.

Good. Keep thinking that. That's one of the first things they do to us in here. Take away our names.

Where are we going?

As far up as we can.

Chen found it easier to just let himself be swept upwards with the others. He could not navigate himself. There was too much that was strange and twisted. As they moved, he heard voices, he heard cries, he heard pleas for mercy.

Shaking, he concentrated his mind on his fellow-travellers. They were repeating phrases over and over again, reliving memories. Some listed names, some recited poems. Lauren seemed to be replaying a day with a lover, a discovery that gave Chen an unsettling feeling of jealousy.

There was little for him to concentrate on. He had no family. He had few friends. He read little, knew no poems or books or plays.

Ah, there was one thing.

The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father. I trust the Corps. The Corps will nurture me, will protect me. Maternis, Paternis. The Corps is Mother....

Some of the others seemed displeased by his choice, but some smiled.

Something's there! Talia said. Something's out there.

Chen looked at her, and realised something. She was the only one who was not repeating that constant litany of memory.

Then he realised something else. They were no longer within a river of light and gold. They were somewhere else.

Hyperspace! Oh, my God, we're in hyperspace.

Calm down, Lauren said. The network somehow crosses hyperspace. We don't know how. There are little.... folds and tunnels. We're in one of them now.

But how...?

Careful! Talia snapped. Something's here!

It rose out of nowhere, forming around them from nothing. It towered above all of them. Size meant nothing here, but fear did.

When Chen was a child, he had had recurring nightmares of spiders. He had been unable to sleep for fear of a blanket of them on top of him, crawling over him, suffocating him, moving slowly over his eyes and into his mouth so that he was unable to scream. During his first year with the Corps those dreams had been locked away, unable to hurt him any more. He had even identified the source of them — when he was a baby, a spider had crawled into his crib, a tiny, harmless thing, but to his child's eyes so much more.

The thing before him was the biggest spider he had ever seen. Just one of its hairs was bigger than he was, just one of the hairs he had dreamed was brushing against his skin.

And in its eyes, in its impossibly large eyes, as it looked at him, Chen sensed a human intelligence. No, an intelligence far greater than human.

He screamed. He did not know what the others were seeing, did not know whether they could be seeing the same thing, but all he knew was that this thing was real and dangerous and terrifying.

Remember! cried Talia's voice through his own screams.

Something dripped from one massive fang. It dropped just past him, searing hot as it passed close to his skin.

Remember who you are!

I am Chen Hikaru, he thought to himself. The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father. Maternis, Paternis.

No, the spider was too big, the fear too ingrained.

There was light. It was strange, the spider seemed so dark, but now it was covered with light. Chen looked and saw Talia. She was not afraid. She was looking at him, concentrating, and light was pouring from her mouth and eyes. Chen knew that she was not looking at a spider. She was not looking at anything at all.

He sensed another presence behind him, and he turned, hardly daring to imagine what he would see there, so afraid that he would witness another nightmare from his past.

It was a man, shorter than he was, dressed in a spotlessly clean black uniform with gloves, cradling one hand against his chest. A Psi Cop badge glinted and reflected the light.

He smiled, and in an instant the spider was gone, as if it had never been. The man, who had a name Chen dared not say even in his mind, moved towards Talia, ignoring the rest.

Chen did not want to intrude on a reunion he knew would be personal, and so he turned to Lauren. She was not shaking any more, but the residue of her fear was still there.

It was a doorway, a big, black doorway, and I knew there was something waiting on the other side, but I dared not open it. I just could not open it.

What was it? An illusion?

If I understand it correctly, the network is made up of the minds of thousands of telepaths, all trapped, their powers channelled in specific directions, to send messages, to block them, to heal, to destroy. This is the cumulative subconscious of all these minds. Why should their nightmares not be here as well?

We have to destroy this.

I knew you would understand. Just as soon as you came in. Everyone does once they've seen this.

Chen looked up, and the man was gone. Talia was looking back at the others. I've found what I needed. We're leaving now, quickly.

We have to destroy this, Chen thought again.

We will, Lauren replied. Did you see who that was?

Yes, I did. I didn't want to hope, but....

Now, I think we're in with a chance. We might just be able to do it.

* * *

'This had better be good.'

'Trust me,' Julia replied. 'I know better than to interrupt your testosterone, beer and cigar night if it's not serious, don't I?'